I Am A Demented Soul -- Fanfic -- Anyone Got A Flashlight?

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My disclaimer is the same as before. Eh, just go look at the second chapter.

Another chapter already? Wow, that was fast, huh? LOL!

I'm running out of ideas. I think this will be the last one (maybe..unless you nice readers leave an idea or two*hint, hint*). Of course, I will keep writing stories. And don't ask about "Man Behind The Mask"....I'm stuck on rewriting some chapters (and I'm busy with my new job), so there... ^_^

Anyone Got A Flashlight?
by Jen (padme_76@yahoo.com)

Chapter 3: Fear and Loathing in El Elevador

To summarize:

Harry, Peter, Felica, Marian, Flash and MJ are trapped in a tilty elevator.....nuff said.

"Oh crud...."

After all the creaking and scraping stopped, the lights flickered, then faded out. Everyone started talking very loudly.

Peter was the first to speak up. He snarled at MJ, who was shoved up beside him. "I told you! I said 'No!' But you had to go on the elevator! And now look! We're stuck!"

"Thank you for the recap!" Harry smacked Peter upside the head. At least he thought it was Peter....

"OW! Watch it, Osborn!"

"Heh, sorry Flash..."

Felica shivered. "Hey, it's all dark in here! Someone light a match or something..."

The three girls with the coffee lighted their cigarette lighters. There was some illumination in the elevator, enough for everyone to see that the elevator was tilted sideways.

"What floor are we on?" Felica squinted her eyes, trying to focus on the numbers above their heads.

Peter also squinted in the dim light, trying to read the numbers. "Um... SHIT! FLOOR 13!"

Harry groaned and threw his arms up in defeat. "There, you see? Floor 13! I knew we were gonna die! This is just like that movie where all the teenagers get stuck in the Elevator of Doom, and they plummet to their deaths!"

Marian rolled her eyes in boredom. "Oh brother..."

"What movie is that?" Peter grimaced. "I think I saw that one...."

Flash nodded. "Yeah, it was...."

"Guys? Can we focus here?" MJ interrupted the three men, but they were still discussing movie titles.

Harry groaned. "I can't remember the name.... but this is EXACTLY what happened in the movie! And now WE'RE stuck here! Ugh..." His eyes darted around in a panic.

The blonde girl scowled, trying to get someone's hand out of her face. "What's his problem?"

Harry growled at her. "Did I mention I was claustrophobic?" He brandished his father's cool-looking trident....

Peter winced. "Uh oh..." He watched as Harry started towards one of the walls in order to cut a hole in it.

Felica glared at Harry, trying to pry Flash's hands off her. "Osborn, how stupid can you be? We're in an elevator! A tilty elevator, maybe, but an elevator nonetheless... you can't cut a hole in the wall!"

"Gotta get out!" Harry panicked.

Peter gripped Osborn's shoulder. "Say it with me, Harry..."

Both of them starting reciting: "Calm blue ocean... calm blue ocean..."

"Deep blue sea!" Marian snickered evilly. The two men glared at her...

Geri was ignoring the chaos going on on the other side of the elevator. "You know, we were stuck in here last week."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "Really? Why?"

Ami snorted. "Some idiot kicked a beer cap between the door and the doorjamb, and the damn elevator wouldn't move."

Hearing this, Harry paused for a second... swallowed.... and resumed his carnage.

Tracy leaned against the wall and shook her head. "This is just lovely. Really, it is."

MJ sighed and glanced at Peter. "...so, I guess we won't get that talk for a bit, huh Tiger?"

Peter opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by insane giggling. He narrowed his eyes at the two math whizes standing next to him.

"Well here's the thing with your answer, Liz. You used the definition! AHAHAHAHAH!!! You used the definition when all you needed to use was the chain rule!" Jen snickered.

Liz groaned. "Well, smegging hell..."

Harry suddenly whirled around and snarled at the two girls (and looking a bit like his father). "BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! NO ONE GIVES A RAT'S ASS!!"

The two girls looked at Harry in distaste, then moved into a corner and continued their conversation.

MJ patted Harry on the arm. "Calm down, Harry. Let's talk about something. Something that'll take your mind off of this...."

"Like what?!" Harry snapped. "The fact that we're gonna die?! That's it. I'm getting out of here..." He went to the doors and used the trident to open them partway. Everyone looked up and stared at him in shock.

"What the hell are you doing?" Flash shouted.

Felica shook her head. "That's the 13th floor, Harry!"

"I don't care! I gotta get out of here!"

Felica and MJ tackled Harry and wrestled him to the ground. He tried to wiggle out of their grasp, but to no avail. In fact, he looked a little silly being manhandled by two girls.... "AUGH! LET GO! I WANT OUT OF HERE!!"

"Dammit, next time we walk! Seriously here!" Geri whined.

Marian grumbled and sat in the corner, muttering about Norman being lazy and never fixing anything. The two math geniuses argued, the coffee girls lit up their smokes. And Harry continued to fight his way out of the elevator....

Peter looked at MJ. "Maybe we'll get that talk after all..."

A large pair of yellow eyes peered into the elevator from the evil floor 13. Harry gave out a bloodcurdling scream and snapped the doors together so hard the elevator shook. Everyone looked up in surprise. Harry was plastered against the doors, his face was pale and his breathing was rapid. He looked back at everyone. "We're gonna die. We're gonna die. We're... "

Everyone returned to their previous engagements.

Jen: ... half of b squared...
Geri: ... like the elevator!
Harry: ... gonna die. We're...
Felica: ... down, Harry, we're not...
MJ: ... well?
Peter: ... so this is my...
Geri: ... not taking the stupid...
Harry: ...die. We're gonna...
Felica: ... not helping!
Liz: ... not completing the...
Peter: ... nothing!

MJ glanced at Peter and shuffled her feet. "So..."

Peter cleared his throat. "Um... do you... you know... wanna keep it? Because, I mean, if you do that's..."

MJ just blinked.

"... but if you don't..."

Harry let out a roar of fury. He was about to tear all of his hair out....all these idiots arguing at the same time was about to drive him over the edge. Not to mention being trapped in a tilty elevator of doom...

Felica's attempts at calming him weren't working. "Calm blue ocean..." She patted his shoulder.

He screamed. "I'LL SHOW YOU CALM BLUE OCEAN!!!"

Unfortunately, in such a small space with so little personal room, Harry's anger was a tad bit contagious... Peter frowned in annoyance. "Dammit, Osborn, I'm trying to have a conversation here!"

"Screw you, Parker! You're not the claustrophobic one here!"

"You two calm down!" Felica tried to warn them.

Harry pulled on his hair in agitation. "AUGH!!!!!!"

Peter stared at Harry and pouted at him. "Oh, boo-hoo, pwoor widdwe Harry and the bwig bwad ewewator..." He rubbed his eyes, pretending to cry.

Harry narrowed his eyes dangerously at Peter and growled. "Don't make me come over there, Parker!"

"Come over here and try something, Osborn!" Peter sneered. He threw Harry out of the elevator and slammed the doors partly shut.

Harry looked toward a dark corner, his eyes widening and he started yelling at the top of his lungs. "AUGH!! WHAT THE HELL? WHAT IS THAT THING??????"

Suddenly, Peter frowned and peeked through the doors. "What? What?!"

Harry gasped fearfully and pointed to a random spot in the dark. "OH NO!!! IT'S PARKER'S MOM!!!!!!!!!!!"

Peter flushed red and bolted out of the elevator, ready to throttle his roommate. He found Harry rollling on the floor, laughing at him. Peter roared in anger and chased Harry away from the elevator.

Harry snickered. "Hey, that worked well. Now we can really talk. What's going on with you and MJ?"

Peter took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. But he still glared at Harry. "Nothing."

"Nothing? Aren't you... well... going to marry her or something?"

"No."

Harry's mouth hung open. "NO? Why the hell not? You're the one who kept telling me you were in love with her!"

Peter scowled suddenly. "You're the last person that would ask me that! Why the sudden concern?"

Harry shrugged nonchalantly. "Well... I don't like the idea of MJ going through life with a kid, and no help."

Parker snorted. "Yeah, sure.... why don't you step in and be the father, then?"

Osborn shivered. "ME? Heh..." He started laughing. "Can you picture me with a kid?"

Peter sighed. "I see your point. Yeah," he nodded, "I'd hate to see you screw up that poor kid's life. You probably picked up your parental skills from your dad," he snickered.

Harry frowned again. "Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence...." he sneered. They both started arguing again.

-----------------------

(Inside the elevator)

It was quiet.

Too quiet....

*okay, I'll stop the hokey horror cliches now....*

Everyone was tired from their ordeal, which only lasted roughly ten minutes so far. They could just hear Harry and Peter yelling at each other. MJ frowned and banged on the elevator doors. "You keep it down, you two!"

Marian smirked at MJ and also banged on the doors, imitating the redhead. "Keep it up, Harry!" she giggled.

Suddenly, there was an almost audible snap. MJ stopped hitting the door and blinked.

"What the hell was that?!" Marian gasped. A high-pitched stretching noise from the top of the elevator was heard.

"... as if... the elevator never really stopped, and now the cable, being pulled too much..." Felica reasoned calmly.

Another snap. The elevator shook. MJ winced, holding on to the rail. " ... is breaking... "

Another snap, and the cable completely broke away. The elevator fell back onto the outcroppings, but bounced back into its proper alignment with the shaft. Inside the elevator, everyone huddled together, terrified, as the elevator began its twelve-story plunge. Everyone in the elevator started to scream....except for the two math aces and Marian, who was still grumbling, and crossed her arms.

"Great. Just great. I'm gonna die, and I'm stuck with you twerps...." Everyone just glared at her, but arguing wasn't going to help matters.

Suddenly it became apparent that the elevator wasn't falling quite as fast. In fact it was... slowing down?

Jen blinked. "What the hell?"

"... so you take the square root! Ah! Now I see!"

The elevator stopped. The lights above their heads indicated they were on the first floor. Everyone blinked.

Flash scowled. "Did I miss something?" Felica just gave him a shrug.

The doors opened smoothly..... revealing Norman at the bottom with a repair guy. He frowned at them all. "Where's Harry and Peter?"

--------------------

Heh, they were still on Floor 13.

*which is purely fiction. They skip 13 when numbering...*

Harry and Peter stop in mid argument to glare at the annoying author.

*okay I'll shut up now*

Harry and Peter resumed their argument about parenting until they heard the creaking of the elevator. Osborn's eyes widened. "What the..."

They suddenly heard the elevator crashing towards the bottom. Peter bit his lip. "Oh... shit..."

Harry ran to the elevator shaft and stared throught the partly opened doors in horror. It was empty, and he could barely see the top of the car plummeting down to the first floor. Peter looked over Harry's shoulder and swallowed nervously.

"We gotta help them!"

Peter cast a gloomy look around floor 13 and huffed in annoyance. "Yeah, and how do you propose we do that, Osborn?"

Harry tried to pry the elevator shaft doors open, but they were jammed. "Well, we go down to the first floor..." he failed to get the doors open, "and... and..."

"Have you noticed something about floor 13?"

Harry blinked.

Peter continued. "The fact that there doesn't seem to be any doors, or windows, or another way to get onto floor 13 other than the elevator?"

"We can take the stairs."

Peter shook his head. "Nope. The stairwell doesn't lead up here."

"But... that means..."

Peter nodded solemnly. "Yeah. We're stuck here."

Harry was in a panic. "There's gotta be a way out of here!" He looked around blindly in the dark. All he could see were weird eyes glowing various colors.

Peter gripped Harry's arms, trying to calm him down. "Look, even if we could get out of here, what's the point? How often do you hear about people surviving elevator crashes in NYC anyways?"

Harry frowned. "I don't think they have that on the news."

"Since when do you watch the news?"

Harry snorted. "Since when have we gotten channels that have the news? And not the stupid Snow Channel... all that seems to be on the news there is that hot weather chick."

"What, the 'It's Schnowing in Britisch Columba!' chick? She's a whore!"

"WHAT?! No she isn't!"

"She hits on everyone on that show! The camera guy, the director, the editor even! The anchorman! She even hit on the fat dude in charge of post-production once!"

Harry wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Ew! Ok, ok, I get your point. But how do you know so much about elevator crashes anyways?"

Peter shrugged. "I watched it at Marian's. She's obsessed with those New York's Most Amazing video collections. It was the New York's Most Amazing Elevators Crashing Videos #4. Ugh....not pretty. You wonder why I'm not a fan of elevators, try watching one of those..." He looked around and sighed in resignation. "Well, that's it, I guess. I'm destined to spend the rest of my pitiful life on this miserable floor with you!"

Harry frowned at Parker. "What the hell's your problem? Stop being so damn depressing!"

"What the hell's my problem? Not only are we trapped here, but my girlfriend, and three of my friends just died in a terrible elevator crash! Sheesh!"

"They're not dead!" Harry protested. "Those guys can survive anything!"

"How the hell could you know?"

Harry shook his head. "I don't know, I just think I'd be able to tell. And we're not trapped here."

Peter snorted. "Whatever you say. Are you sure you're not in denial or something?"

The younger Osborn picked up his father's trident that he dropped earlier. "Nope."

Peter scowled in puzzlement. "What the hell are you doing?"

Harry started hacking at the floor. "I'm getting us out of here, that's what!"

Harry continued to hack away at the floor. Peter walked over to the elevator shaft and looked at it thoughtfully. He glanced back at Harry, and then at the doors, debating whether to use his strength to open the doors. After several minutes, all Harry succeeded in doing was working up a sweat. Peter looked back at Harry, who was still swinging away, then got an idea. "Osborn, c'mere. I think I've got an idea."

"What? Those doors won't budge. I tried already."

"What if we both tried to open 'em?" He sounded convincing, despite the fact that he could open them quite easily without help. Harry blinked, then got up and walked over to the doors. Peter gripped one side and Harry the other. Parker nodded. "Ready? One... two..."

"THREE!"

The two men strained at the doors, and with a deep, scratchy sigh the doors slowly parted. Both men fell backwards, gasping for breath.

"So.... we got the doors open. What do we do now?" Harry wiped his forehead.

Peter looked up at the dangling cable end, which was hanging a couple feet above his head. He grinned. "We ride down the elevator shaft in style. There's bound to be an escape trapdoor in the top of the elevator car, we can get in there." He jumped up and grabbed the cable. It slowly started to unwind from the top and he descended downward. Harry jumped and grabbed it as it slowly lowered Peter past him. The extra weight sped up their downward descent. They landed on top of the elevator, which was now safely on the first floor. They paused.

"I don't hear anything! Do you think... OH GOD! THEY'RE DEAD!" Peter cried frantically.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up. Help me get this grate off."

They attempted to pry the grate off the top of the elevator, but soon resorted to jumping up and down on it, causing it to collapse. They tumbled into the elevator and landed in a heap. Peter looked around and started rambling again. Harry thwaped him upside the head and Peter stopped, turning to glare at him. They looked up and saw MJ leaning against the elevator doors and laughing at them.

Harry and Peter said nothing and just glared at her....they REALLY weren't in the mood for teasing....

MJ shook her head and giggled. "I don't want to know. Really."

Peter got over it rather quickly and grinned at his girlfriend, happy to see she was safe. "You're not dead!!!" He jumped up and gave MJ a big hug. Harry glared at him and pushed him aside.

Felica piped in. "Yeah, we got saved at the last second."

"By who?"

MJ answered. "Mr. Osborn. You know, he's not as evil as we all think he is... maybe we should give him another chance?" The gang thought about it for a little bit. "NAH!"

Marian just glowered at the group and shoved MJ aside as she stood next to Norman. Osborn cleared his throat and looked around. "Well... I saved the day. I think I deserve a reward, don't you?"

Peter rolled his eyes, and the others just groaned at Osborn's lack of concern. Surprisingly, Harry faced his father down with a hard stare, and somehow kept his temper. Unfortunately, it didn't last...... Even Marian was a bit intimidated by young Osborn's glare and she backed away slightly.

"Reward? Reward?!" Harry huffed in irritation. "We never would have been in this mess if the elevator hadn't been a death trap! Hell, we wouldn't be in this mess if you had paid for the fucking cable bill!! I'M TIRED OF WATCHING THE SNOW SHOW, DAMMIT!!!!"

Everyone gasped in shock.....except for Norman. He just stood there with a brooding expression on his face.

Felica's mouth hung open in disbelief. "You're... tired of the Snow Show?"

Harry's jaw started twitching. Felica had to pull Harry away and started lecturing him on the virtues of the Snow Show.

MJ scowled at Norman, with an angry finger pointed at him. "Now listen here, you slimy bastard! We're sick and tired of living in a slum! Either you start doing something about this or... or... um..." She lost her train of thought.

Norman just smirked deviously at her. "Heh."

MJ frowned. "Back me up here, Harry." She looked to Harry, who was standing near Felica, doing his best 'innocent bystander' impersonation. MJ clenched an angry fist. "Dammit, Osborn, back me up!"

Harry was in enough trouble as it was and just shrugged, obviously too scared to go against his father.

"Oh, to hell with both of you!"

Marian just chuckled at MJ's display of anger and turned to scheme, er...speak with Norman.

MJ's expression changed suddenly as she regarded Peter. "So, what did you want to say to me?"

Parker shuffled his feet. "Um... "

Another college student walked by the group, then looked at Peter oddly. "Hey, Parker... don't you have your make-up exam now?"

Peter grimaced. "SHIT!!!" He shot off like a light, exiting the building. The other student watched in amusement while MJ shrugged indifferently. The young man saw Norman and walked over to him.

"Hey, Mr. Osborn... just wanted to say... great job you're doing here!"

Something inside MJ's head snapped and she began to pummel on the unsuspecting student, with Marian and Norman watching in amusement.

THE END

Author's Note: Off the record.... I was stuck for twenty-three freakin' minutes. Ugh... and there were three small toddlers trapped with me, along with this really annoying guy. O_o But yeah, that's MY nightmare scenario. Death by elevator. *snicker* And I happen to be claustrophobic, too.. so it wasn't a good day for me, lol.

I've read your reviews and suggestions (on and off fanfiction.net), and I'm thinking of writing another Halloween story (not related to this one). So maybe I'll use some of your ideas.*wink* Heh, I'm almost tempted to write an alternate version of the Thanksgiving scene. Of course... it would have to be a parody, no? ^_~

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