PETER
     Here's one. [hands over Norman's body]
CORONER
     That'll be $100.
NORMAN
     I'm not dead!
CORONER
     What?
PETER
     Nothing. Here's your money.
NORMAN
     I'm not dead!
CORONER
     Hey, he says he's not dead!
PETER
     Yes, he is.
NORMAN
     I'm not!
CORONER
     He isn't?
PETER
     Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
NORMAN
      I'm getting better!
PETER
     No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CORONER
     Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
NORMAN
      I don't want to go to the morgue!
PETER
     Oh, don't be such a baby.....
CORONER
     I can't take him.
NORMAN
     I feel fine!
PETER
     Well, do me a favor.
CORONER
     I can't.
PETER
     Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CORONER
     No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
PETER
     Well, when's your next round?
CORONER
     Thursday.
NORMAN
     I think I'll go for a walk.
PETER
     You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look, isn't there something you can do?
NORMAN
    I feel happy... I feel happy.

     [the guy bashes Norman in the head  ...]

PETER
     Oh, thanks so much.
CORONER
     Not at all. See you later.
PETER
     Right.
 
 

Here's another one....
 
 

NORMAN
     One day, son, all this will be yours!
HARRY
     What, the curtains?
NORMAN
     No. Not the curtains!  All the laboratories and factories that OsCorp owns, will be yours.
HARRY
     B-- b-- but dad, I don't want any of that.
NORMAN
     Listen, Harry. I built this company up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was a warehouse. Other CEO's said I was an idiot to start my own business, but I started it all the same, just to show them.  It went bankrupt. So, I started a second one. That went bankrupt. So, I started a third one. The factory exploded, burned down, and then the company went bankrupt, but the fourth one...OsCorp Industries.....survived! And that's what you're gonna get, Harry: the most financially stable company in the city.
HARRY
     But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
NORMAN
     Rather what?!
HARRY
     I'd rather...  [music starts]  ...just... sing!
NORMAN
     Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here.
HARRY
     But Father!
NORMAN
     Shut your noise, you! We're going to the board meeting!  Get that suit on!
HARRY
      ......[music starts up again]
NORMAN
     And no singing!
 
 

Okay, this is the part where Peter goes to rescue.....the girl (snicker)

PETER
     Don't worry...I came as soon as I could-- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
HARRY
     You got my note!
PETER
     Uh, well, I-- I got a-- a note.
HARRY
     You've come to rescue me!
PETER
     Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn't--
HARRY
     I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there... [music starts up]
PETER
     Well, I--
HARRY
     ...there must be... someone...
NORMAN
     Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?
HARRY
     I'm your son!
NORMAN
     No, not you.
PETER
     Uh, I'm Peter Parker, sir.
HARRY
     He's come to rescue me, father.
PETER
     Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
NORMAN
     Did you kill all those guards?
PETER
     Uh... Oh, yes. Sorry.
NORMAN
     They cost $300 each!
PETER
     Well, I'm awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything.
HARRY
     Don't be afraid of him, Peter. I've got a rope all ready.  [he throws it out the window and starts climbing down]
PETER
     Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.
NORMAN
     I can understand that.
HARRY
     Hurry, Peter! Hurry!
NORMAN
     Shut up! You only killed twenty guards, that's all!
PETER
     Well, I really didn't mean to...
NORMAN
     Didn't mean to?! You put the one guy's head through a wall!
PETER
     Oh, dear. Is he all right?
NORMAN
     This is going to cost me a fortune!
PETER
     Well, I can explain. I was heading for the Science Fair, when I got this note, you see--
NORMAN
     Science fair? You mean the one at Columbia?
HARRY
     Hurry, Peter!
PETER
     Uh, yeah...I'm a chemistry major, sir.
NORMAN
     Nice school, Columbia. Uh, very good chemistry department.
PETER
     Is it?
HARRY
     Hurry! I'm ready!
NORMAN
     Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?
PETER
     Well, that-- that's, uh, awfully nice of you,...
HARRY
     I'm ready!
PETER
     ...um, I mean to be so understanding....

     [Norman cuts the rope, making Harry fall out of the window]

HARRY
     O_o
PETER
     ...I'm afraid when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.
NORMAN
     Oh, don't worry about that.
HARRY
     O_o  Ahhhh...!!  [splat]
 
 
 

[snickers]  So what'd you think?  ....it's silly, I know, but it's Monty Python!  What do you expect?

~Jen R.
padme_76@yahoo.com