Dylan Beck(1685-2684), barely a graduate of Shitley High School, has been drawing and boxing competitively since he was a young child. Now, in his first year of Awesome School(Pittsburgh Campus), he's been training to become a superhero while pulling off a double major in Sewing and Destruction. This former-vampire currently lives at home in his 8-bed, 2-bath garage. His bass Gwen has recently went on record saying,"If a 5-string bass and a comic book artist having a baby is wrong, then lock me in my case and throw away the combination."

Elliot Smith(1987-1276[time-traveling incident]), the youngest person in history ever to swim accross the Atlantic [dogpaddle], is in his second year of writing his own Dictionary entitled "Elliot is Loakul"-A Novel which will double as a step-by-step guide to moonwalking. He forgot lots of it, but has recently decided to write it down instead of trying to memorize it. Still in Clown Prep School, this young Waffle-advocate has been working on a way to tell himself apart from his long-time partner in funny, Dylan Beck; The police have no leads.