He’s getting better, Shinji thought as he watched Touji carefully spoon hospital mush into his mouth. Amazingly better. Two months ago he couldn’t even sit up by himself. He thought a little more and blushed. I kind of miss feeding him.
“Yo, Ikari, what you thinkin’ ‘bout?” There was a slight slur to Touji’s voice in addition to his usual accent. No wonder, considering how bad the trauma had been. The NERV doctors had even said there was a chance he’d never wake up. Remembering Touji’s question, he looked up at his friend and shook his head.
“Nothing. Just glad you woke up.” Touji nodded and scraped the last little bit of glop out of the bottom of the bowl.
“Sure. I bet you were thinkin’ about one a’ those hot babes you live with.” Shinji’s blush darkened. Touji snickered and lifted the spoon. Halfway to his mouth, Touji’s hand suddenly shook, spilling the contents of the spoon onto him. He looked down at the newest decoration on his hospital gown and grimaced. “Damn.”
Without thinking, Shinji grabbed a napkin and started wiping at the spot, only to have his hand knocked away by an irate Touji. “I’m not a frickin’ cripple, Ikari.”
“Sorry.” Shinji sat back in his chair and folded his hands across his chest. I was just trying to help, he thought. It’s my father’s fault he’s like this anyway.
Touji finished cleaning his gown--though his efforts had only managed to spread the stain over a larger area--and sighed. “Sorry, Ikari. I know you weren’t tryin’ ta disrespect me. I just hate bein’ like this, ya know?”
Shinji didn’t reply right away, but he did uncross his arms, placing them on his knees. “I know,” he said. He couldn’t look at Touji.
“Hey, you blamin’ yourself for what happened again? I told you, I don’t even remember, so quit it. I ain’t mad at you.” He glanced up. Touji didn’t seem angry, so he lifted his head to meet his friend’s eyes.
“It’s not that.” Shinji’s hands balled themselves into fists as sudden rage flowed through him. “It’s him. I hate him for giving that order, and for making that dummy system, and for making you fight in the first place.” He dropped his eyes and squeezed them shut. “And I hate myself for not being able to stop him.”
“Yeah, he’s a bastard, ain’t he?” Shinji’s eyes jerked themselves to focus on his friend’s face once more. Why can he say that and I can’t? he thought. “But I told ya, I don’t blame ya. You’ve done more than enough ta make up for whatever it is ya think ya did.” Touji was looking out the window, as contemplative as he ever got.
“That’s not true.” Touji looked back at him.
“Oh yeah? Then what’s this thing the nurses tell me, that there’s a kid who looks like you who came and visited my sister every week when I was asleep? And I know you came to see me a lot. I heard your voice, Ikari. You and Horaki.” Touji waved his arm in a clumsy gesture, accidentally knocking his empty cup off the tray and onto the floor. Shinji’s immediate impulse was to pick it up, but he stopped himself just in time.
Touji smiled sheepishly. “Aw, go ahead. Not like I can reach it with these damn tubes stickin’ outta my arm.” Shinji smiled and set the glass upright on the tray. “Now, where was I?”
“You were saying you heard my voice when you were unconscious.” I didn’t want him to know, he thought. I didn’t want him to know, but I feel like something good is going to come of this.
“Yeah, thanks. As I was sayin’, before I was so rudely interrupted, you even come in a lot to see me now, and do dumb things like sit around and watch me spill stuff on myself and pick up stuff I can’t reach.” He thought for a moment. “Sometimes it’s kinda like you was my wife.”
Touji’s face turned red when he realized what he’d said, and Shinji could feel his own cheeks burning as well. “Ah, just forget I said that, Ikari. No guy wants ta be called another guy’s wife.”
“Um, it’s all right.” There was an awkward moment, and then Touji spoke again.
“Anyway, I’d just like ta say I appreciate it, Ikari, especially the stuff you did for my sis. Thanks.” Shinji felt his heart soar. Maybe, he thought, maybe it is worth it, to do things for people, if it feels like this.
There was a knock at the door, and then a nurse came in, checking the monitors and the levels of the various liquids in Touji’s IVs, wheeling the tray away from the bed. “I’m sorry, but visiting hours are over,” she said in a voice that brooked no argument. Shinji stood and exchanged waves with Touji.
“Bye.”
“See ya, Ikari.”
Shinji paused with his hand on the door, not quite ready to leave. “There’s another sync test tomorrow, but I’ll be back the day after. If it wouldn’t bother you too much, that is.” He turned his head slightly to see Touji’s reaction, and was startled to find a look of joy on his face.
“You better. It’s boring as hell here.” The nurse left off her duties for a moment to open the door fully and shove Shinji outside, shutting it behind him. He could hear Touji complaining to the nurse, and the nurse telling him, in no uncertain terms, to take his sedatives and get some sleep.
Smiling a small smile, he made his way down the sterile hallway, whistling for the first time in his life.
See you on Tuesday, Touji.
