"Do you know? Do you know? Have you heard the news?"
"The legendary senin Jiraiya, a porn writer?"
"You're not serious."
"No, actually, the real news is this..."
"Hatake Kakashi and Umino Iruka?"
"They were what?"
"Hello, you've reached the Nara residence. We're not home right now, so leave a message and we'll get back to you if we feel like it."
"Oh, that's so sweet!"
"*Beep* *beep* *beep*--and *beep* your mother too!"
"Hmph. Real men wouldn't do that with each other."
"Iruka-sensei is not a pervert! Don't you dare say stuff like that about him!"
"...isn't that illegal in public? How'd he get Iruka to agree to it?"
"How come you never let me see you in your maid's outfit, Ibiki-chan?"
"...they sell those here? Where?"
"I always knew that Kakashi was a kinky bastard."
"Yeah, and then he was totally hitting on me. Like, I was so embarrassed! I mean, who'd wanna be seen with a guy who totally looks like a corpse? So I was all like, 'Hayate, you just need to back off, OK?' But that Kakashi guy? Mmmm, I'd so be gay for him. What, you haven't heard yet?"
"In the cherry grove? Is that where it happened?"
"For the last time, Iruka-sensei doesn't do that kind of stuff! Leave me alone!"
"In the Ichiraku?"
"No, I heard it was--"
"In a classroom?"
"Yeah, aren't Iruka-sensei's night classes the best? I make the greatest stir-fry now. I bet Kakashi appreciates it... oh, you haven't heard?"
"They're meeting at the shrine tomorrow? I wonder what for..."
"Yeah, so I get to travel all the way to the Wave country for my sister's wedding. Joy. Oh, have you heard about Kakashi and Iruka?"
"Why did we never notice until now?"
