Johnny woke the next morning bright and early. He got up, stretched his sore muscles a little, and threw a few punches at the air. After he’d completed his morning ritual, he turned toward Yosaku’s bed to wake his partner.
His cheerful greeting died in his throat, though, as he realized Yosaku wasn’t in his bed. In fact, the bed was just as neat and tidy as it had been when Johnny had gone to sleep. So Yosaku hadn’t even come back to their room.
“Oh c’mon, Yosaku,” he said to the empty room. “You can’t be that pissed at me.”
He waited for a moment, but Yosaku did not magically appear on the bed, nor at the door. Johnny sighed. Looked like he was gonna have to look for Yosaku on his own. He took a deep breath, clearing his thoughts. Then he took another deep breath, coughed, and decided to take a bath first. He smelled like old sweat and rotten leather: no way was he stepping outside like that.
As he soaked in the bath, he considered the question of where to find Yosaku. It was more difficult than expected. His usual method of figuring things out was by talking them out with Yosaku, which was a bit of a problem at the moment. So, he compromised by talking things out with himself.
“If you were Yosaku,” he mused, “where would you be?” He thought for a moment before answering.
“If I were Yosaku,” he said, “I’d still be at the bar.” Thus decided, he stood from his bath, purple skin dripping, and left to find his friend.
After the landlady screamed, he made a hasty retreat back to the room and got dressed. But he wouldn’t let Yosaku laugh at him for something dumb like forgetting to put on his clothes. Yet. He owed Johnny an apology, and then they could laugh like old times again.
Not like Yosaku could laugh at him right now, anyway. But, Johnny promised himself as he donned his pants and left the inn, that would soon change.
“Hey Sonia,” he called as he entered the bar, “is Yosaku here?”
“A-cha!” There was a giant clatter of pans falling. Johnny winced.
“Sorry about that,” he called. “Are you all right? Do you need help?”
“No, no,” Sonia called, extracting herself from her small, now-cluttered kitchen. “I’m fine. Now, what did you say?”
Johnny took a seat at the bar. “I was wondering if Yosaku was still here. He didn’t come back to the room last night.”
Sonia frowned, wiping her hands on a towel. “He didn’t?”
“Nope.”
“That’s funny,” she said. “I looked for him when the pirates left last night, but I didn’t see him anywhere.”
Johnny got a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach. “You mean, he was already gone?”
“Yeah.” Sonia sighed.
“Damn,” Johnny answered. “Maybe he’s still pissed at me.”
“You guys had a fight?”
Johnny paused for a moment. “Yeah. But I think it’s over now.”
Sonia gasped. “You mean, your friendship?”
“No, no,” Johnny reassured her. “I mean the fight. It started because we were too focused on the mission, I think. So we’re gonna give it up.”
“What?”
“The bounty. We’re gonna give it up.”
Sonia froze, then scrubbed the bar furiously. “Is that so?” she said.
“Yeah. It’s causing a lot of problems between us, you know? It’s not worth it anymore.”
“Fine,” Sonia said, eyes narrowed. “It’s all right. It’s OK.”
Johnny blinked. “Sonia?”
“And you may look the other way.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, if you’re giving up it leaves me in kind of a bad position, doesn’t it?” She stopped polishing the bar and glowered at him.
“Oh.” Johnny rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry.”
Sonia glared at him for a moment longer, then sighed. “I guess I couldn’t expect too much. You are just pirate hunters, after all.”
Johnny quirked his lips against the little sting Sonia’s words gave him. “If it’ll help at all,” he said, “Yosaku and I’ll tell the Marines about this place when we see them.”
Sonia sighed again and resumed wiping down the bar. “I don’t think they’ll come, but thanks for the thought.”
“Well,” Johnny said, standing from the stool and stretching, “I’m gonna go check around town. Though maybe,” he scratched his chin, “maybe he’s already at the boat.”
Sonia blinked. “The boat? But there aren’t any boats in the harbor, aside from Mirror Belle’s ship.”
“It’s on the other side of the island.” He winked at her as he turned to leave. “Little hidden cove, near that huge oak tree. That way, it doesn’t tip pirates off that we’re in town, you know?” He waved over his shoulder. “Thanks for your help, Sonia. Hope things turn out for the best.”
“You too,” she answered. Johnny wondered why she sounded so distracted, but quickly put it out of his mind. She was probably just making plans for surviving under pirate rule for a few months, until the Marines could come by and clean up the area.
“Good luck,” he said as he closed the door for the last time.
Three hours later, Johnny leaned against a rock shelf and admitted defeat. Yosaku wasn’t in the bakery they’d been going to every morning for coffee and croissants. He wasn’t in the laundrymistress’, who Yosaku had been visiting every few days to take care of his suit. He wasn’t in the inn, or in Roxburry’s, which he’d checked again only to find Sonia gone and the place empty.
Johnny sighed. In addition to the places he thought Yosaku might be, he’d checked all the places he was sure he wasn’t, like the tanner’s and the general store. No luck. He’d checked every alley, street and passageway and found nothing. Then he’d checked the surrounding wilderness, every shrub, every tree. Nothing. Now, there was only one place on the island to check, the little bay on the other side of the rocks he was leaning against, the spot they’d berthed their ship at.
He closed his eyes and sighed. He’d put this off longer than he probably should’ve, considering Yosaku would more likely be at the ship instead of the various animal burrows Johnny’d been looking into. But as likely as it was that Yosaku was onboard waiting for him...
...there was the possibility he was gone for good.
Johnny took a deep breath and forced himself to walk along the rock face towards the small fissure that granted entrance to the bay. After a few steps, he started jogging, then running. He nearly crushed a large polka-dotted snail, but barely even noticed. Before long, he found the fissure and wormed his way through it as quickly as possible. His coat caught on a jagged edge jutting out from the side, but he simply shrugged it off and continued.
After what was far too long for his tastes, he made it through the twisting passageway and into the bay. He stared for a moment and nearly collapsed in relief when he saw the ship exactly as he’d berthed it a week ago, with the hull pulled up onto the shore in the absence of a dock. Johnny leaned against the wall and laughed. As long as Yosaku was still around, they could work things out. In fact... he squinted against the ocean’s glare, harsh even with his sunglasses. Was that someone moving on the ship?
“Hey!” he shouted, running towards the water and waving both arms in the air. “Hey, Yosaku!”
The figure on the ship stopped moving, then vanished into the cabin. Johnny’s run slowed, then stopped, his arms falling to his sides. Was Yosaku still angry at him? Was he--Johnny went cold as he realized what must have been going on. Just because Yosaku hadn’t left him yet didn’t mean he wasn’t planning to.
Johnny narrowed his eyes and strode forward determinedly. No way was he letting Yosaku strand him on this island, much less giving up their friendship without a hell of a fight!
Soon enough, Johnny reached the hull and climbed up onto the deck. He scanned the deck for any sign of his delinquent partner, but as expected it was empty, only a few scattered barrels of provisions marking that the ship was even inhabited. He made his way to the stern and repeated his search. The results were the same; Yosaku was nowhere to be found. Johnny then turned his attention to the cabin and noticed something unusual. Stuck in the cabin’s doorway was something that definitely hadn’t been there when they’d left a week ago: a red kerchief.
Johnny drew his sword halfway out of his scabbard and pressed himself to the cabin’s outside wall. Something was amiss. His hand slowly crept along the wall to the door handle and grasped it in a firm grip. After a long moment, he flung the door open and drew his sword in one smooth movement, leaping into the doorway, prepared to strike at whoever was in there.
“A-cha!” the figure cried, falling down in shock. Johnny blinked, lowered his sword, then sheathed it.
“...Sonia?”
“So you see,” Sonia finished, “I really didn’t have a choice.”
“Your only choice was to steal our ship?” Johnny retorted. He leaned against the door and crossed his arms, regarding the woman perched on his and Yosaku’s “table”--really just a crate--skeptically.
“Yes,” Sonia glared at him. Johnny glared right back. After a moment, Sonia looked away. “You don’t understand,” she said petulantly. “You haven’t been living here.”
“Then make me understand.”
Sonia took a deep breath. “I’ve lost everything.” She looked back at him. “I want to get out of here, start a new life.”
“And you couldn’t do it without stealing our ship?”
“No, I couldn’t. What did you want me to do, steal Mirror Belle’s ship by myself?” Johnny said nothing. Sonia sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Look, Johnny,” she said, “you guys were my last hope. I thought you’d get rid of the pirates, and I could have Isaac back, and life could go back to normal. But,” she shrugged, “if you’re giving up, why shouldn’t I? I’ve lost the person I love most in the world, for good. Why wouldn’t I want to leave? You’ve gotta know how that feels, at least a little.”
“Look, that shouldn’t matter. I didn’t go and trash your bar just because Yosaku left--” Johnny cut himself off and looked away from Sonia entirely. There was a moment of tense silence. Johnny scratched furiously at his elbow, teeth gritted. After a moment, Sonia stood, crossed the small cabin and laid a hand on his shoulder.
“Look, Johnny,” she said, not unkindly, “he’s gone, and it’s hard, I know it is. But let me tell you something. You listening?”
Johnny nodded, hand still. Sonia nodded in return and let her own hand drop. “OK,” she started. “At first you’ll be afraid, Johnny, you’ll be petrified, wondering how you’re gonna live without him by your side. But then you’ll spend so many nights thinking ‘bout how he did you wrong--”
“But that’s the thing,” Johnny said, breaking away from Sonia and pacing the room. “He didn’t do me wrong. He was just drunk and stupid. One drunken fight shouldn’t be enough to break our friendship!”
“It can when Mirror Belle’s involved,” Sonia said darkly. “Isaac was drunk the night he decided to confront her.”
“And you fought?”
“I didn’t want him to go.” Sonia crossed her arms and looked off into space. “It was the last time we spoke.”
After a long moment, Johnny sighed. As pissed as he was that she’d tried to steal their boat, he understood her point of view. “OK,” he said, “we’ll take you to the next port we land at when we leave. But,” he added, “you have to cook. And I’m not leaving this island without Yosaku.”
“Sounds fine,” Sonia said with a wry smile. “We’ll all get our fresh start.” She marched to the door and opened it. “C’mon.”
“Where’re we going?” Johnny asked, following her out onto the deck.
“Roxburry’s. There’s too much liquor to take with us, and hell if I’m leaving it to that no-good, disease-ridden, lousy, freeloading, husband-stealing, friendship-sabotaging witch Mirror Belle!”
Sonia was quiet on the way back to the bar, probably contemplating the new direction her life was about to take. Johnny was also quiet, contemplating the wisdom of searching for his partner after binge-drinking. When Roxburry’s came into view, though, he threw the debate in favor of alcohol. He could look for Yosaku tomorrow. The ship was safe; Yosaku would never leave him stranded. Johnny silently rolled his eyes at himself for ever even thinking that as he followed Sonia inside.
The instant he entered the room, Johnny stepped in front of Sonia, eyes narrowed. Something was off. From what he’d seen, Sonia kept the inside of the bar meticulously neat. Unless she’d gone on some sort of going-away rampage, there was no reason for the broken glass on the floor, or the overturned barstool. There was no reason for the bottles left half-empty on the counter, or for the pungent smell of spilled rum. And there was certainly no reason for the muffled sobs coming from the kitchen.
“Johnny, what--” Sonia quieted as Johnny held up a hand, advancing slowly. He wished he’d brought his sword with him, but he hadn’t thought he’d need it--the Disco Pirates seemed to be nocturnal, after all. Besides, there was always the hope that the person weeping past the doorway he was approaching was the very one he’d been searching for all day. Behind him, he heard Sonia take a bottle off the counter. He did the same as he rounded the bar. A bottle could be a weapon, albeit a mostly noneffective one.
He paused just outside the kitchen and listened for any sign they’d been noticed, but the only sound was sobbing. Johnny nodded to himself. If he timed it right, he’d get the jump on whoever it was. He motioned for Sonia to stay where she was, then leapt into the kitchen, bottle at the ready.
His mouth dropped open when he saw who was inside. It was none other than Zoro the Gay Blade, bawling his eyes out over a row of rainbow-colored drinks.
The other man hiccuped once and looked at Johnny, then stumbled to his feet. “I meant to pay her, I swear!” he slurred, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. “But then, like, she wasn’t here, so I thought I’d have a teensy little sip, and then I had another teensy little sip, and another...”
Johnny lowered his bottle and smirked. “Hey Sonia,” he called, “you can come in, it’s safe.” He scanned the room and soon found Zoro the Gay Blade’s discarded weapon. Keeping a careful eye on the man in front of him, he bent down and grabbed it just as Sonia came in.
“You!” Sonia sputtered. “What have you done to my bar? Do you know how much all that alcohol cost? I oughta smack you one!”
“Then do it,” Zoro said morosely, hanging his head. “I have nothing to live for anyway.”
Johnny stared at him for a second, then rolled his eyes. If nothing else, the time he’d helped Sister Nami and the rest fight Arlong had taught him that there was always a reason to live. “Come on,” he said. “We’ll pour some drinks, and you can tell us all about it.” He glanced at the woman fuming next to him. “That all right, Sonia?”
Sonia sighed. “Sure, why not,” she said, anger fading. “He was always the politest of them anyway.”
“You mean it?” Zoro said, a hopeful light in his eyes. At Johnny’s nod he smiled. “Super! Lemme just pick these up--” he gathered his rainbow of drinks into his arms and stood again. “You guys are the best,” he said as he followed Johnny and Sonia out into the bar proper.
“So, “ Sonia said once she’d situated herself behind the bar, with Johnny and Zoro on stools, “what’ll it be? I can mix up pretty much anything.”
“Don’t bother,” Johnny said. “Just give me something strong.”
“Sure thing.” She selected a bottle from those remaining under the bar, considered it, then took a swig and handed it to Johnny. “This’s good stuff.”
At her words, Zoro burst into tears again. “G-Good stuff...” he choked out. “That’s--that’s... Oh, Mirror Belle, why did you abandon me? I thought you were my fag hag!”
“Oh, is that what this is all about?” Sonia asked, selecting another bottle for herself and sitting next to Johnny.
“You got it, sister,” Zoro replied, taking a draught from the blue drink in front of him. “That bitch! I was on her crew for five years--five whole years! I robbed and killed for her, and then she just up and throws me out for some little fling I had with Pat Benetar. Some friend.”
“You got nothing on me, honey,” Sonia pouted. “She talked to my husband just once, and he left me!”
“Oh God, I am so sorry about that,” Zoro said, reaching across Johnny to wrap his hand around Sonia’s. “You know I would’ve never done it if I knew then what I do now. And you,” he continued, laying his other hand on Johnny’s shoulder, “I’m sorry about what happened to your friend. He was the sweetest little thing.”
“Wait, you know where Yosaku is?” Johnny exclaimed.
“Sure do,” Zoro said. “That night before she--” he choked down a sob, “--before she kicked me out, she was talking about how she would get you on the crew.”
Johnny blinked. “Me? Join her crew? But what does have to do with Yosaku?”
“Well, you see, she wasn’t sure you’d go for it, so she thought Yosaku-muffin might come in handy.”
“Huh?”
Sonia sighed and scowled at him. “Mirror Belle doesn’t think too much of friendship, in case you haven’t noticed. She’s probably holding Yosaku hostage to get you to join her.”
Johnny’s head spun. Yosaku, taken hostage? “But,” he stammered, “but she doesn’t even know we’re pirate hunters!”
“Oh my God, you’re a pirate hunter?” Zoro gasped. Johnny paid him no heed. Yosaku was in danger! He had to do something! He leapt off of his stool and was about to rush back to the inn to get his weapon when Sonia grabbed him by the elbow.
“Wait, Johnny!” she cried, aolding on to him as he dragged her along. “You don’t even know where he is!”
“She’s got a point, hon,” Zoro said, crossing the room to stand between Johnny and the door. He put his hands on Johnny’s shoulders and held him back when Johnny tried to push past him. “Can’t exactly rescue your,” he coughed discreetly, “friend if you don’t know where he is, can you?”
“How can I find him, though?” Johnny mourned, relenting. “I’ve searched this entire town, and I haven’t seen even one Village Pirate!”
“That’s not true, Johnny,” Sonia said slyly.
“You don’t need to say that to try and make me feel better,” Johnny pouted.
Sonia sighed. “You really are hopeless,” she said. “There’s one right in front of you.”
Johnny blinked. “You’re right,” he said, looking up. Sonia smiled slowly. Zoro backed up, a scared look on his face.
“Oh, no way,” he said as Johnny and Sonia began to advance on him. “You can’t afford the drinks it’ll take to make me give up that info! I may be a pirate, but I still have some morals!”
“Really now?” Johnny said, hooking an arm around Zoro’s shoulders. “If it’s just alcohol you need to loosen up your tongue--”
“--I’ve got an entire barfull ready and waiting,” Sonia finished. “Drinks are on the house.” She hooked her own arm around Zoro’s other shoulder and helped Johnny drag him back to the bar.
“Come to think of it,” Zoro said as they sat him down again, “why should I care about that bitch? She dumped me for no good reason!”
“That’s right,” Sonia encouraged.
“I have no reason not to help you out, do I?”
“Nope,” Johnny said cheerfully.
“All right!” Zoro crowed. “Bring on the alcohol! And after we’re done, we’ll go and show that Mirror Belle who the real Dancing Queen is!”
“The inn?” Johnny slurred as he, Sonia and Zoro the Gay Blade stumbled through said building’s entrance. “Why’re we here? Aren’t we going to the secret--secret--”
“Secret club?” Sonia finished. “Something about a number?”
“You just don’t understand, you guys,” Zoro sighed, dragging them up the stairs. “We’re going to the secret club, which means I need my secret club pants. Now, you go and get ready, Johnny-kins, and I’ll change in here.”
He shooed them off, then opened the door he was next to. After a moment, he walked out again and tried the next one. Sonia and Johnny supported each other down the hall to Johnny’s room and went inside. Sonia flopped down on the bed, while Johnny wobbled his way to the center of the room, where his wig and jumpsuit lay in a big heap on the floor.
“Do you really need that?” Sonia said, propping herself up on one arm.
“Zoro said so,” Johnny replied. “Said I’ll need a disguise to get in. So I’ll get disguised.” He shucked his jacket, then his shirt. He started to unbuckle his belt, but was hit in the back of the head by a flying pillow before he could finish.
“Hey,” he said, glaring at Sonia. “What was that for?”
“I am a married woman, you know,” Sonia replied, turning over to face the wall.
“Then don’t look,” Johnny said, too late to be effective. He finished undressing, then donned his suit and wig. Not a moment too soon, either; the instant he zipped his suit closed over the ‘essentials,’ Zoro burst in through the door.
“Ta-dah!” he sung. “Don’t I look fabulous?”
Johnny looked Zoro up and down, but aside from the obscenely tight black leather pants and even tighter mesh tanktop, Zoro looked exactly the same as he had when they’d parted. “You look... great,” he said anyway, figuring flattery was as good a tactic as any.
“Oh, oh, oh! And you have to see the best part!” Zoro squealed. He turned around and bent over. “Isn’t it just the cutest?”
Johnny squinted. “No Girls Allowed,” he read off of Zoro’s rear.
“Damn,” Sonia said. “It’s so nice and tight, too.”
Johnny looked over his shoulder at her. “I thought you said you were a married woman?”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the view.” Sonia managed to rise from her lying position and stand after a few tries, then made her way over to Johnny and Zoro. “All right, men,” she commanded. “Off we go!”
And the three of them linked arms and stumbled off to the nefarious lair of the Village Pirates, an underground club spoken of only in whispers, a place known as “Studio 54.”
