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The Bishonen Song

To the tune of Monty Python’s “The Lumberjack Song.”

Lead Singer:I’m a bishonen and I’m OK
I angst all night and I pose all day
Chorus Line:He’s a bishonen and he’s OK
He’ll angst all night and he’ll pose all day
Lead Singer:I angst and pose, have silver hair
Or red or blue or gold
I come from the Glitter Planet
I’d look good clothed in mold
Chorus Line:He’ll angst and pose, shampoo his hair
With gallons of Pantene
And when he’s got it shining
He’ll wax himself and preen
He’s a bishonen and he’s OK
He’ll angst all night and he’ll pose all day
Lead Singer:I angst and pose, and nobody
Can tell what sex I am
So when I go to dinner
The waiters call me “Ma’am”
Chorus Line:He’ll angst and pose, he’ll eat his lunch
They’ll bring it out for free
‘Cause when they look upon him
They’ll think that he’s a “she”
He’s a bishonen and he’s OK
He’ll angst all night and he’ll pose all day
Lead Singer:I angst and pose, I hit on girls
And sometimes other guys
And everybody wants me
To bind them tight with ties
Chorus Line:His bed is full, it always is
With women and with men
Because fanfiction writers
Put the “bi” in bishonen!

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