MARY SUE:	I am the very model of a poorly-written Mary Sue
	And when the cast needs information I will know just what to do
	Because I am the author I can be used to expose the plot
	Though given fanfic writer's brains, it needn't be an awful lot
	I'm very well-acquainted, too, with matters dealing with romance
	No matter how closed up the man, he'll still come out and take a chance
	Because I have an angsty past that rivals his quite readily
	But never does it make me turn to sinful things like devilry
ALL:	But never does it make her turn to sinful things like devilry
	But never does it make her turn to sinful things like devilry
	But never does it make her turn to sinful things like devilry
MARY SUE:	I'm very good at everything, and nothing is too hard for me
	I skip and sparkle, gleam and glow, and everybody wants to be
	The girl who's got an awful lot, and does just what they'd like to do
	I am the very model of a poorly-written Mary Sue
ALL:	The girl who's got an awful lot and does just what we'd like to do
	She is the very model of a poorly-written Mary Sue
MARY SUE:	I know my favorite's history, his triumphs and his tragedies
	And only I can shake him from his sadness with my strategies
	That win me any man I choose, and sometimes two or three or four
	But I can only love just one, 'cause otherwise I'd be a whore!
	At first, we'll hate each other's guts, and cannot stand to talk or speak
	But that soon passes, he and I, we'll be a couple in a week
	And when our love has grown enough, I'll give up my most secret key
	We'll kiss and touch, and touch and kiss, and then take off our clothes, teehee!
ALL:	They'll kiss and touch, and touch and kiss, and then take off their clothes, teehee!
	They'll kiss and touch, and touch and kiss, and then take off their clothes, teehee!
	They'll kiss and touch, and touch and kiss, and then take off their clothes, teehee!
MARY SUE:	All the other boys are jealous when they found out I've been had
	But I can’t sleep with any of 'em, 'cause the first one would get mad
	In short, I garner all their love, and all because I wanted to
	I am the very model of a poorly-written Mary Sue
ALL:	In short, she garners all their love, and all because she wanted to
	She is the very model of a poorly-written Mary Sue
MARY SUE:	I've got so many special powers, don't know what to do with them
	But I'll reveal them to my lover, deep within a shaded glen
	And he'll tell me just what to do, for though I am a genius he
	Knows more than I could ever know 'bout millitary strategy
	The universe must be in danger for my skills to surface thus
	And so we make our plans, we kiss goodbye, and I get on the bus
	And then I have to go off 'lone and meet my death quite tragic'lly
	Though maybe I'll be resurrected, obviously magic'lly
ALL:	Though maybe she'll be resurrected, obviously magic'lly
	Though maybe she'll be resurrected, obviously magic'lly
	Though maybe she'll be resurrected, obviously magic'lly
MARY SUE:	In short, I am quite perfect: I am smart and sweet and nice and kind
	And if you say that's wrong, I will get all my fans to beat you blind
	I'm very pretty, perfect teeth, and eyes and hair a lovely hue
	I am the very model of a poorly-written Mary Sue
ALL:	She's very pretty, perfect teeth, and eyes and hair a lovely hue
	She is the very model of a poorly-written Mary Sue

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