Baltimorean Accents, by Justin.
What is up with Baltimorean Accents? It's like nothing I've never heard before. I can put on accents from European countries I've never been to, but I can't for the life of me do the accent of these people who have lived in my backyard for all my life. They twist their vowel sounds into some skewed alphabetic sounds and it succeeds in wrenching your ears. If you've ever heard what I'm talking about, then you'll know what I mean. Like, they can't say the letter "O". It comes out "Eeoh". It's horrible.
Allow me to riddle your ears with this:
"'Ey 'on! Le's ga 'et som' crabs an' beer."
Did anyone else notice the only words they got right in that sentence were "crabs" and "beer"? I wonder why. Could it be that Maryland society has had the practice? I don't see what the big deal with crabs is anyway. They're a hassle to eat.
Did you know that Virginia's state slogan is "Virginia is for lovers."? You know what Maryland's is?
"Maryland is for crabs." I find that deplorable. Who wants to live in a state filled with crabs. I'm not even sure it's the seafood crabs anymore, there's so many meanspirited people in Maryland, in the world as a matter of fact.
"Earth is for crabs." is what it should be. Or more or less, "Earth is for greedy power-hungry lusting people who crave attention." That is definitely right on the spot.
Well, over and out.
