Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful girl named Punkarella.
She lived in a big, beautiful house with her Cranky stepmother and 2 ugly stepsisters.
Punkarella was sweet as sugar and twice as nice, but because they were jealous of her beauty, her stepmother and stepsisters made her do all the housework and never let her dress up.
Her favorite thing to do was lay by the fire and read a good book - and she didn't get to do that often.
One day, the announcement came that the Prince was going to have a ball to find him a Princess to marry.
Punkarella watched her stepsisters get fitted for beautiful new dresses and at night, she would lay by the fire and cry - because she knew she would never get to go to the ball.
One night as she was sobbing into her book, a twinkle started dancing around the room. Punkarella threw down the book and covered her face with her hands. Just then, she heard the sweetest voice ever saying "Punkarella, don't be afraid. I'm your fairy godmother and I'm here to be sure you make it to the ball on time."
Well, you can be sure that Punkarella jumped up laughing and that she and the fairy godmother got busy in a hurry.
Fairy godmother's wand was sparkling as she made a beautiful dress, a lovely tiara, and the most wonderful glass slippers you ever saw.
Then she turned some mice into footmen (you know, the guys who open the door for you),
a pumpkin into a carriage,
and some rats into beautiful horses to pull the carraige.
Punkarella was all dressed up and as she climbed into the carraige, fairy godmother said, "Remember Punkarella, you must be gone by the stroke of midnight. Thats when all my magic disappears and you will be dressed in rags again. Now go have a good time and show them "no dancing" princesses how to shake a leg." The carraige flew like the wind to the ball.
As Punkarella stepped from the carraige, the Prince turned around and B O I N G!!!, his eyes nearly popped out of his head - Punkarella was the most beautiful girl he ever saw. He grabbed her by the arm, dragged her to the dance floor & refused to dance with anyone else.
Along about midnight, the clock started to chime. Punkarella looked up and asked, "Prince, is that you - do you have gas???" "No", he replied (rolling his eyes),"That's just the clock striking midnight."
Lordy, mercy...Punkarella knew the party was over for her...she flew up the steps with the Prince in a dead run after her. She stumbled, dropped one of the glass slippers off her foot, and just kept on running.
The Prince picked up the shoe, clasped it to his chest and declared, "I'm gonna marry that girl if it's the last thing I do."
The next day he sent out his yeomen (you know, they're the guys who holler "YO, man! C'mere a second.)to find the foot that fit the glass slipper.
When they got to Punkarella's house, the ugly stepsisters used vaseline, spit, and crowbars to try and get their foot into the shoe - but HA HA, they didn't fit. So the yeomen asked, "YO, man - are there anymore girls here?"
Punkarella stepped out of the shadows , in her rags, with a dirty little face. "No way can you be the chick we're looking for, but the Prince said try everybody, so hustle on over here, dirty girl." said the yeomen.
Punkarella slipped on the shoe with ease.
"Well,looks like you're it," they said as they bundled her up on the horse for a ride to the castle.
The Prince's face lit up as he saw Punkarella. "Girl, we got to get you a bath quick if we're going to make it to the church this week!"
So they got married, had a castle full of little girls and they lived happily ever after.
Oh yeah, and the ugly stepsisters? Well, they married pig farmers and moved to Hoboken.
