So Far

It has been almost 2 weeks since my back surgery and I am feeling more like myself again. While it has been painful and I would not like to go through it again anytime soon, I can’t say that it has slowed me down all that much. No rest for the wicked and the righteous don’t need any.
I find myself at a crossroads, once again and look forward to what is around the next bend while gazing back, with affection, on where I have been. This has been a very interesting journey, so far and I have no idea where it may lead. I have met a number of people that I feel very strongly about, in a variety of ways. I met one who has touched me and taught me more about myself, than I knew or expected when I started down this path. I have met another and I am surprised by the intensity of my feelings for her and the speed at which this has happened. I don’t know how the story ends but I do want to explore possibilities with her and as she feels the same about me, I am excited and aroused by what lies ahead.

Leather Work

I have been busy doing leatherwork today and decided that it is high time that I posted a photo of what I have made so far. The blue suede and brown goatskin floggers are the latest additions. The leather restraints are padded and lined with suede.

Wax Play Safety and Hints (more from the internet)

For a first foray into the realm of bdsm many lovers choose to use wax. It is a very distinctive and unique sensation. One people usually love or hate. I thought I'd put together a few tips for beginners so they can do this with a maximum amount of safety.
First a word of caution. Wax can burn very badly. If you want to care for you partner in a way conducive to your being able to play again, you need to be careful.

TYPE OF CANDLES and WAX

There are many different types of candles available. The degree of heat of the dripping wax varies depending on the materials from which the candle is constructed. Beeswax is the hottest, and something that a beginner should avoid. I would recommend that a person not use it at all, but some experienced players do use this type of candle. It can cause second or third degree burns as there is often honey left in the beeswax which gives the candles their distinctive pleasant smell, but also holds the heat.
Other types of materials also cause the candles to burn hotter. You may see information that says the color of the candle makes a difference, and that is not actually true. Additives do make a difference, but the ones to watch out for are hardeners such as those used in dripless candles. Often the most expensive candles are the ones that burn with the highest degree of heat, for a beginner you will want to start with cheap, paraffin based ones. In my experience whether the candle is white or red or yellow actually makes little difference.
My favorites for someone just starting out are the novena candles available in the Hispanic section of most grocery stores (at least those in larger areas). They come in tall glass containers, and you can buy them without the religious pictures. The wax is very cool compared to most others, so a good choice for a first time. Another possibility are the emergency candles sold for times your electricity goes out. They too are usually very low temperature.

WORKING WITH WAX

The best way to see how a candle feels is to test it out on yourself. Allpeople do not have the same degree of pain tolerance but it will give you an idea. Light the candle, making sure you have a good place to set it down. If you have the novena candles the container is built in, if you are using a taper candle, make sure you have a holder that the candle fits snugly into, and the base is wide enough to avoid easy tipping. Never forget that you are literally playing with fire, and the few extra cents spent on a good candle holder are little weighed against a fire from a tipped candle.
Oh... I always have something nearby just in case a fire does get started, after all, if you have a bound and helpless person under your care, you will want to do your best honor their trust. A small fire extinguisher is not that expensive. At the very least a container of water and something to use smothering the fire should be nearby.
Okay, that said back to testing. Light the candle and set it aside to burn for a few moments. This will allow a small pool of wax to build up around the burning wick. Once you see a pool there hold your forearm out and holding the candle about a foot from your arm, tip it until one or two drops fall onto your arm. Use the sensitive skin on your wrist or elbow to get a feel for how hot this candle is.
I find the pain from wax to be a unique feeling. Very intense, but concentrated in a very small area. It happens to be one of my favorite kinds of painplay.
Once you know what kind of candle you are going to use (and you might choose a couple, a cooler one to begin with, graduating to a hotter one) you will be ready to experiment with your partner.
Many people find that being tied and blindfolded during wax play heightensthe sensations, not knowing where the next drop will fall, and being unable to move away from it can add a great deal to the erotic sensations.
Where to begin dropping the wax is mostly a matter of preference. But I would recommend, especially in the beginning, starting on the belly or back.
Drop a few drops and carefully note your partner's reaction. You can vary the heat of the drops by holding the candle lower or higher. Again, make sure you have a good idea of just how hot this is. Burns, especially on sensitive tissue are not usually much fun.
I have found in my experience that some of the most sensitive areas on both sexes are the inner thighs, the area of the belly that joins the hip, the nipples, and the genitals. I begin in a less sensitive area, moving to an occasionally drop on a highly sensitive one.
Remember that if you drop wax on top of wax, it will hold the heat in and possibly cause burns, so be careful when you layer.

REMOVING THE WAX

Peeling bits of wax off, is almost as much fun as dropping it. As it pulls away from the skin, the sensation is again intense, and running a feather or fingernails or even a tongue over this sensitized skin is a very sexy way to prolong the 'waxing' session.
Some people advocate oiling the skin before you drop the wax, this makes cleanup especially areas with hair, as in pubic areas or the chests of some males. This will make the cleanup much easier, as the wax does not adhere, but you must remember the oil will make the wax seem a bit hotter, and you cannot do the trick with the pulling away of the wax.
I have seen people use vampire gloves or those pet brushes sometimes used for sensation play, as an easier way to take the wax off, they work well, and do add another twist to your session.
Remember, wax has the potential to damage your partner... play safe.

How To # 1 (something more that I found on the net and thought was useful)

How To Build A Bondage Sawhorse

Supply List 1 Package of Sawhorse Brackets 4 – 30” long 2x4’s 1 – 38” long 2x4 12 – medium size screw-in eye bolts 1 Can Flat Black Spray Paint 3’ piece Carpet Padding 3’ piece of Black Vinyl Fabric

Before we began to construct the sawhorse, let's discuss the supply's listed above. We choose the black plastic sawhorse brackets because we wanted something that was lightweight, black in color and easy to assemble and disassemble and brackets that would allow different width's of the top board. The sawhorse bracket box shown below is perfect for what we wanted and we highly recommend them for your use.
The four 30" long 2x4's are specifically for the legs of the sawhorse and can be any length that you desire. Whatever size you select, be it 24", 30", 36" or more, will determine the height of the sawhorse and ultimately how high the person is that is placed on the sawhorse. A tall person might prefer a longer leg - say about a 36" because that would put the sawhorse high enough to work on the submissive without having to bend over and put a strain on your back. A shorter person might prefer shorter legs, say 24" or so. You can actually make them any height you want or have multiple heights if you prefer, but you'll need four of each height you choose. If you want, you can cut these yourself or have them cut to size at the lumber yard. The quality of the wood is not important since you will be painting over it anyway.
The top piece is the board that goes across the top of the sawhorse from one sawhorse bracket to another. We have selected a 2" x 4" - 38" long board, but again you can customize it to any length you desire. Most females are between five and six foot tall so if you're using your sawhorse for females only, than a 38" board should work out OK. A good way to tell is to measure your subject while on all fours (doggy style) from the tip of their head to the roundest point of the buttocks. To that number add a 6 extra inches on each end of the board for movement and to that add 4 inches for attaching to the sawhorse brackets. So then if they measure 30" from head to tail and you add 6" for subject movement and 4" for attaching to the brackets, you end up with a 40" board (30"+6"+4"=40"). Also, please note that you will need to drill a hole 2" from each end of the board so that your top board can house the bolt that will attach to the sawhorse brackets on each end..
IT IS IMPORTANT to remember that you'll need sawhorse brackets that accept different widths of the top board. If you click on the photo of the sawhorse bracket box above you will see that they advertise that you can use a 4", 6" or 12" wide top board. The reason this is important is that wider boards are more comfortable for longer play times and for people who are carrying more weight. The heaver the person, the more uncomfortable a narrow board can be so you want to purchase sawhorse brackets that will accept multiple widths of top boards. Also, if you turn your subject around and have them lay back on the top of the sawhorse, a wider board is much safer. Keep in mind, the more comfortable your subject, the longer they will want to stay on the sawhorse. Whatever discomfort they may feel, should be that which is administered AFTER they are positioned on the sawhorse.
The only thing you need to consider about the eye bolts is that they be the type that have wood screw threads on one end so that you can easily screw them into the legs of your sawhorse. And of course, the can of flat black spray paint is so that you can paint the raw wood you're using in the project. Also, you'll need to purchase a small piece of sponge foam carpet padding - something about 3' wide and the width of the padding. So you may end up with a piece 3'wide by 50" long depending upon the width of the roll of padding. This stuff is very inexpensive so pick up a nice thick piece.
In addition to the hardware store trip, you'll also need to make a stop at a fabric store. Here you will purchase the black vinyl fabric for covering the top board. Again like padding, this comes in a fixed roll width (say 40" wide) and your option is how wide a piece you want them to cut for you (say 3' wide) so you may end up with a piece that's 3' x 40" or so. The cost for the vinyl fabric we purchased was around $5.00 and we have enough to do top boards in various sizes.
The first thing we need to do is paint our sawhorse legs which should already be cut to size. We took a cardboard box and cut it in half and placed the legs across the two box pieces as shown on the left. We did this outside because the spray paint can make a mess if you do it indoors. Spray first one side and the edges and then when it dries to the touch, spray the other side. Keep in mind it's better to spray twice than put on so much that the paint runs down the wood.
Step Two After you paint the legs, you will need to paint the top board. However, since the fabric is going to cover most of the board, it only needs to be sprayed on each end about a third of the way into the board. Once all of your boards are dry, you'll want to put the fabric on your board. First, get our your stapling gun and wrap foam padding around the board as shown on the photo on left side.
Staple a line of staples into the to board leaving about six inches unstapled on each end of the board.. Step Three Next, wrap the foam padding around the board until the padding meets up with the side that it already attached then cut the padding so that the two sides butt together. Staple the remaining foam padding (as shown in photo on left) except for about six inches from each end. The reason you're leaving an unstapled area on each end is because you will need to tuck the black vinyl under the foam on each end. As you can see we are using a heavy duty staple gun because we need to use long staples.
Step Four Now begins the finish part. Place the black fabric so that it fits around the padded board and cut the length of the fabric about six inches longer than the padding on the board. Lay the fabric under the foam padding and fold it around to the back side as shown on photo at left side. Note that the seems of the foam padding and the fabric both attach at the bottom of the board. Center the fabric so that you have three extra inches on each end. Carefully fold the extra fabric and tuck it beneath the foam padding. Repeat the tucking on the other end of the padding.
Step Five Step Five is attaching the vinyl/leather fabric to the board. After you've folded and tucked the end pieces, bring together to two long pieces of black fabric so that each sides butt's up against the other side. If needed trim the fabric to fit snuggly against each other. DO NOT OVERLAP THE TWO PIECES OF FABRIC. When you're satisfied with the fit, begin stapling each side to the board. At this point, you are stapling through both the fabric and the padding, so you will need a reasonably long staple. Once stapling is completed, simply follow sawhorse bracket instructions to finish putting your piece together. Happy Horsing...

We think the test of any piece of equipment is how much access it allows us to the submissive. The nice thing about the spanking sawhorse is that it allows almost total access no matter where we put our subject. One of our favorite positions is to put the submissive laying down on her back with her ankles in leather restraints and attached to ceiling hung chains. This gives us complete access to the subject. Another favorite position is having the submissive sit on the sawhorse with her ankles in restraints and attached to the legs of the sawhorse while her wrists are also in restraints and attached to ceiling hooks. And then of course, a position of contrition for those subjects who need behavior modification.

Back Online

After a too long hiatus and too many hours in internet cafes, my computer has been returned and I am back online.

Free At Last

After a very nasty break-up with my ex, I am in my new place, as of the 1st of the month after 2 weeks in a flea bag hotel, and ready to follow the path that I have chosen. I have enjoyed everything that I have experienced so far and look forward to all that is yet to come.

Toys and Other Gear

I am going to reprint a couple of articles that I found on the web and they are FYI only as I have not tried a number of these things, so I cannot vouch for their effectiveness.

A friend recently told me about a fly swatter he had that's "Texas size."
Cool! I have a dozen or so little girl hair clips I found that are iridescent butterflies and dragonflies and bumblebees.
They aren't big enough for nipples but bet they'd be real annoying on genitals.
Just one teensy little snap.

Did you know if you fill a latex glove with Jell-O and let it set it makes a really squishy slapper?
Funny after more intense paddling, it's cold too.
But it might break, you protest.
Yeah, it might, sometimes, so?

How about a super soaker filled with juice?
Or a squirt gun with koolaide or soda, just this side of frozen?
At a distance it tickles really bad.

If you use wax play then how about Wiltons melting chocolate wafers?
They melt at quite a low temperature and are uncomfortably warm but not burning.
Why not apply them with a big tickly brush?

Ice play? Icepops can be fun.
Or how about a condom full of Jell-O?

Percussion, we automatically think of paddles, canes floggers.
One of the cheapest and best is a paddleball paddle.
You can buy them in bulk from someplace like oriental Traders in amazing and even glow in the dark colors.
Wooden spoons may splinter badly, but try the plastic section of housewares.
Or have you maybe tried a kids sand shovel?
They have a right nice sting, and you can store your toys in the bucket it comes in.

Use an old feather boa or ribbons for bondage (being appropriately cautious of tightening), you don't really need stocks and handcuffs, was your sub really planning to escape anyplace?

Drip cold cold soda on them, it fizzes interestingly, or hold it in your mouth during oral sex and let it warm up, different sensations.
How about warm hot chocolate, marshmallows are optional but fun hunting for, especially those teensy ones they put in instant cocoa.
Eating food, especially jiggly wiggly food off someone's tummy can be fun.
Or you could turn your sub into a human banana split.
The ice cream melts quite quickly and turns into creeping crawling rivers of warm milk you can't brush away if your hands are bound.
Have your sub hold a hershys kiss on their tongue while they kneel..and no dropping it.
Line up m and ms and see if you can flog them off, one at a time, with a licorice whip.
A serious sting I might add.

Adult toystores sell edible panties I understand can turn into ugly inedible messes.
They sell edible tattoos, and flavored lotions, which in my experience taste quite nasty.
So, why not finger-paint your sub using colored cookie icing, and then roll them in sprinkles just to make it interesting. (They itch).

I have heard about trying to pop m and m's into a subs mouth, using your or their (in the case of male subs) penis as a catapult.
Or play ring toss with it, pineapple rings or rope ones; even plastic horseshoes might be fun.

Light, medium and heavy floggers: Your slave should see that your floggers do not get tangled.
Many fetish stores sell bags for this purpose, but nylon stockings work just as well.
Since floggers take a lot of abuse, they should all be stored to minimize wear and tear.

Small paddle sticks (12" rulers)
Whartenburg Pinwheel
Paddles
Cane(s)
Leather, opven-fingered spanking gloves (for your comfort)
Utility collar (single ring)
Leash
Lightweight wrist and ankle cuffs
Suspension Cuffs
Suspension Stirrups (equine, available at any tack shop)
Large carabineers (available at technical climbing stores like EMS)
Handcuffs (Purchase a good set of handcuffs at a gun shop or BDSM toy store. Smith & Wesson or Peerless; both use a standard key in case of emergency. Keep one key with you and a spare in your toy bag - I attach my spare to a ring on the handle of the scissors.)
8-25' lengths of braided synthetic fiber rope, ?" diameter (5mm)

Misc. parachute rope, used in suspension
Nipple clamps
Dildos
Anal plugs 1 large, 1 small
Vibrators
Ball gag
"Zippers" (wooden clothespins on a cord)
Blindfold (I prefer the "Mindfold," which does not touch the eye lids, but is absolutely dark and has no places for light to "leak" in) Earplugs (for sensory deprivation)
Portable "Wooden pony"
Tiger Balm (for clit torture)
Itching power (for torture) "Soap on a rope" dildo (for slave humiliation or as punishment for speaking improperly)
Rubbing alcohol (fire play)
Small bowl (fire play)
Sponges (fire play)
Wash cloth (fire play)
Candles (for wax play, the cheaper the candle, the better - more expensive candles often burn at dangerously high temperatures.)
Small set of slave "scene" clothes: corset, heels or anything else you want to see your slave wearing. You never know when you might need them.

Creative BDSM Toy Sources

Music Stores: Metal banjo picks (excellent and inexpensive "claws"),tambourine brushes, drumsticks, sound effect toys.

Beauty Supplies: Rubber bands, clips and clamps, hairbrushes.

Theatrical/Magic: Blacklights and strobe lights, mindfuck props, costuming, fake blood, stage knives, rope tricks, itching powder.

Kitchen/Home: Bathroom accessories (loofah sponges, mitts), spatulas, cutting board paddles, cheese graters, pickle pinchers, wooden spoons, rice paddles, plastic window blind closing rods (good canes).

Pet Stores: Collars, leashes, bells, dog food bowls, cages, remote electrical shock collars. Veterinary supply sells horse and dog bit gags, forceps, sterile needles, some restraints.

Fishing Stores: (Warning: fishhooks are not safe for piercing play!) Fiberglass rods, weights, pliers and clamps, fish scaler (abrasion toy), bells with clips.

Farm Supply: Castrating bands (Elastrator), cattle prods, flexible plastic fencing material, mild electrical "pest" fences.

Tack Shops: Riding crops, harnesses and bridles, horse hobbles.

Arts/Crafts: Tap plastics cuts custom paddle/cane shapes and stocks fiberglass rods. Craft stores sell leather and specialty rope. Tandy Leather sells horsehair, feathers, leather laces.

Marine Supply: Rope, winches, quick-release snaps, pulleys.

Climbing Supply: Heavy duty ropes, carabiners, suspension harnesses.

Shoe Repair: Scrap leather, heavy rubber soles, laces, polish.

Auto Parts: "Parts retriever" gripping toy, funnels, windshield wiper blades, vinyl cleaner.

Fabric Stores: Clover clamps, spiked measuring and cutting wheels.

Pharmacies: Menthol rubs, Ace bandages, douches and enemas, aspirin (increases bruising), snakebite kits, Betadine, First Aid and safety gear, cotton swabs, disinfectants Baby Wipes (contains nonoxynol).

Five and Dime: Cheap clothespins, tupperware drawers to organize your toys.

Toy Stores: Toy paddles, jumping rope, age play accessories.

Thrift Shops: Cheap leather and fur coats to recycle, leather belts, "tearaway" or disposable clothing to rip off your body.

Groceries: Foodplay items like cucumbers and other insertion toys, whipped cream, tabasco and hot sauces (not insertion toys).

Sporting Goods: Muscle rub, paddles, fiberglass fishing rods, chin-up bars can be installed for bondage, camping "potty chairs" for watersports play.

Hardware/Lumber: Rope, tarps, paint mixers (great little paddles), bungee cord, snap hooks and connectors, clamps, sandpaper, dowel rods for canes or spreader bars, eye bolts, chains, alligator clips, plastic rods, small inner tubes (slice lengthwise for flogger).

Medical/Lab Supply: Catheters, enema gear, forceps, latex, needles, scalpels, disinfectants, ambulance shears (emergency bondage cutter), urethral sounds, speculums, restraints, backboards, c-spine collars and rigid braces.

Law Enforcement: Billy clubs, leg irons, handcuffs, thumbcuffs, come-alongs, spare handcuff keys, saps, uniforms and boots.

Nipple Stimulation

First of all, when your Master uses the clamps on you, breathe in long, sustained breaths, only through your nose. Make sure you concentrate on filling up your diaphragm with air, not your lungs. Name each breath as either "in" or "out."

Secondly, i get a lot of help from visualizing something. Remember, half of the pain is all in your head, so distract your head. i close my eyes and imagine a bright, red flame, like on the tip of a candle. When i feel pain, i turn the flame icy blue. i don't know why, but it keeps me at peace. my pain threshold has gone through the roof because of that.
A friend of mine who is also a boy imagines a brilliant gold hour glass full of gem stones, and he counts the stones as they fall one by one.

Third, practice with the clamps on your own (with permission from your Master, of course).

The Blog Begins

This blog is a place where I will post my thoughts and chart the progress of my journey along the path that I have chosen.