Motivation
My New Logic (October 2007)
At my heaviest I was ridiculed.
When I lost weight I was criticized.
So - fuck the world if I can't do anything right.
You made me this way and punish me for it.
I let you have too much control over my life.
What you think doesn't matter anymore.
I'm doing this so I can be at peace with myself.
It gives me direction and focus in life.
Don't like the person I've turned out to be?
Not my problem.
It's all your fault, but I won't be your victim.
Think I'm crazy?
Maybe so.
Think what you want.
I'm everything that could be expected after what I've been though.
I'm a perfectionist.
I know I'll never be perfect, but one day - You won't know the fucking difference.
My Old Reasoning (June 2006)
I don't starve because I can.
I starve because I must.
Anorexia is simply a necessity.
Health is not an issue to me.
I would commit suicide if I gained weight.
I would rather be dead than fat.
I don't deny that there are healthy ways to lose weight.
Unfortunately, the healthy way will not produce the results I desire.
My natural weight is not my ideal.
My ideal weight will always be unattainable.
I realize and accept this.
However, there is no reason for me not to attempt to come as close as possible.
We all have our own personal goals.
We all have our own perception of beauty.
I am doing this for me.
