Extra Bio Stuff

What I meant by 'factoid lists' was a listing of terms of interests, of group-affiliations, of self-definitions, and the like.

..., adventure, alternate universes, alternate sexualities, art, asking 'why', astrology, being, bisexuality, body, books, the 'Box', cats, choice, colbert report, comfort, computer stuff, contemplation, conversation, counter-culture, crystals, curled up under blankets, debate, difference, discussion, diversity, dnd, draconity, dragons, drawing, earth, eclectic, email, existence, exploring, fanfiction, fantasy, fiction, fire, force, furry, gaming, god, goddess, grimoire, grok, growth, heterosexuality, hoard, homosexuality, horde, interaction, journal, journaling, life, lobster, magic, magick, make-believe, mediation, meditation, mind, multiplicity, music, myth, napping, necklace, neopaganism, other, otherkin, 'Outside the box', paganism, painting, pansexuality, pendant, penpal, philosophizing, philosophy, poking, private, questioning (reality, reality of our understandings of gender, the nature of self, the existence of self, existence) randomness, reading, reality, realms, 'Regardless of the box', roleplaying, rpg, science fiction, scifi, secret, sff, shadow, shellfish, shiny, shiny crystals, Skittles, sleeping, soul, south park, spirit, spirituality, star trek, story, strange, sushi, tale, tarot, theology, therian, therianthrope, thinking philosophically, thought, tng, transexuality, tv, understanding others' perspectives, variety, video games, videogames, voyager, wand, warlock, warmth, water, way, weird, wicca, wind, witch, wizard, writing, z--the last letter..

'...'
Biologically female
At student
Day-dreamer
Italian/Irish---primarily Italian
New England

Loves fantasy and science fiction...
Loves seeing what "normal" is...
Loves seeing "normalcy" invaded by other possibilities.

Aw... you know what? Fuck it.
I'm not the sort of person that 'factoids'----little phrases, one-liners, can easily describe. Someone on CNN or some other news channel would have a hard time figuring out a single, simple story to describe me.
Or, no... Here's a simple description of me, what my mom once observed as being my basic structure of thought:

Fuck the system.

No, that's not right either, as while I'm a bit of a love-everyone eclectic paganistically-inclined feminist/humanist art-major at an environmental liberal arts college in New England who fervently supports same sex marriage, trans- rights, fantasy and magic and flight...
I also like math and logic, I like color-coordinating random objects and categorizing my books, I like programming little online AI and I love organizing my computer---seriously, I've organized my computer for hours at a time in my free time. Structure and categorization itself, I like.
((Maybe you can't tell it, based on the messiness of my room, or the apparent insanity of my website; folder inside folder, link into link into like, page after page of lots of categories and subcategories---it's so complicated and anal that you don't know where to start, huh? That's why I'm making the 'Hall of Doors' with the site----to have links that lead to all the major/minor areas..
My religion, my beliefs, I'm exploring and representing in the mythos of The Taludrian Tales. The structure of this website is based off of the cosmological structure I've created for my story---the Hall of Doors, described in further length here, is the meeting place of all things. It's essentially the index to the site, from which you'll be able to see everything and access anything. ))

Here's another possible way to simply describe me:

Fuck your system.

Well, that's not quite right either.
I suppose it'd be more accurate to say that while I love structuring things, and understanding those structures---I need to understand the structure I'm working with. Based on the peculiar interactions of individuals and religions and cultures over history, and the assumptions about 'Truth' that are commonly arrived at... I'm suspicious of everything. I don't trust that anyone is right, I don't trust that anyone actually knows what they claim to know.
I don't trust common sense, I don't trust common knowledge---I can see what they are, and follow along for a while, but I never truly believe in something just due to it being 'common sense', 'what everyone knows'----when I'm told that that's the source of some information, I'm immediately suspicious.

Ah. Here might be the best way to simply describe my way of being and looking at the world:

The fuck with assumptions, the fuck with any structure based in things that I don't know. I'm not following your religion until I know what you believe, why YOU believe it, the basic history of the religion, the social conditions throughout it, the ways of things at the founding of the religion and the original beliefs and intentions of it....
I want to know why I believe what I believe. I want to take all the ideas I'm presented with, bring all these forces together into a little compacted ball, and let it explode. Like a star going nova, or like a ball of petals being thrown into the air and hitting a solid object, I then want the fragments of the ideas to explode outwards and swirl around, dancing outwards into whatever patterns they come into.
It's not that I want to be nihilistic and deny everything, for I want to fervently believe in something.
It's not that I want to say "fuck the system", and wander off and smoke pot all day instead of taking on the responsibilities of helping others, for I don't need drugs to get in touch with myself, and I don't need to become a hermit to be content.
I want to be content with myself and who I am.
I want my self-image to be able to constantly shift---I never want to have myself so defined that I can't change.
I want a major part of who I am, who I know myself to be and who you see me to be, to be CHANGE. Shifting swirling flight upwards inwards who-knows-where but I want to be me and I want to be ecstatic about it, no matter how happy or miserable my life is at the time.
I don't want how content I am to depend upon some quota of things I have to do.
A: I don't want to believe that I'm a by-nature SINFUL person who has to fulfill some well of goodness before I can be redeemed...
B: I don't want to believe that there are certain things in life that I MUST do before I can be content with myself and who I am.
I want the things I do to be a result OF who I am, not purely what DEFINES me.
I do not feel secure in who I am.
I'm secure enough with my doubts that I don't drink to hide from myself, don't join groups and behave just like the normal members so that I can define myself as being one of them.
That doesn't mean I'm confident in myself. It doesn't mean that I have a feeling of knowing who I am.
When I try to figure that out... I dunno. If I try to define myself according to the realities I know, then I'm restricting the answer.
But when I draw myself... the person I draw never looks like me. When people take pictures of me, something's almost always missing so that the person doesn't seem like me... she's uglier, plainer. I've heard it said that my eyes are an important feature, like looking into my soul, and that cameras and drawings just don't capture it.
When I draw myself, but I don't draw my body... I almost always draw swirls of light.
Swirls of light, and color, floating and curving and flying about in a non-defined way... Light, and airy, and elemental. Rainbows, but not rigidly... tiedye, but nothing so simple. Twirls of tremulous light trail off and around as the main body swirls.
And since I discovered the concept of 'otherkin', since I discovered the concept of 'draconity', I've been drawing lots of dragons. Never quite western, never quite eastern---the form doesn't matter. Swirls of etherial light and power, be it resting or flying...

It's not the only definition of me. Nearly every picture I draw is some form of self-portrait. The artwork that I'm putting on my site, in the Mental Paths or Taludrian Tales, is especially so. A self-portrait isn't merely a drawing of your face, or torso, or any part of your body... but it can be. A self-portrait is a representation of self. And I have many selves.