SPOME 2 PRE-PRODUCTION:
STEP ONE, HOST AND LOCATION.
[K&K are sitting in their office, throwing pencils at each other when Kendall sees a commercial on the television for "Scariest Places on Earth"]
KISA: Aw! You got it in my eye, mother-
KENDALL: Shut up! Look!!
[They watch the ad for the abc family's 13 Days of Halloween program that launched the One Spoof to Rule Them All reverently]
KENDALL: We need to write another one.
KISA: Totally.
[Kisa grabs the phone and hits the speed-dial labeled "To Annoy Elrond"]
KISA: Elrond! Elrond, we need you to host another "Scariest Places on Middle-Earth"!
ELROND: What??
KISA: Please, Elrond!
ELROND: No! No! I'll do it if Gil-Galad does it!
KISA: [turns to Kendall] Call Gil-Galad!
KENDALL: [Grabbing his phone] On it!
KISA: Hold on, Elrond!
KENDALL: Yeah, okay... Great! [shoots Kisa a thumbs-up]
KISA: He'll do it!
ELROND: Oh.... Okay.
[cut scene to K&K sitting in their chairs doing and saying nothing]
KISA: So...
KENDALL: Location...
KISA: Yup...
KENDALL: Hmm...
KISA: How about that Pottery Barn down on Engleman?
KENDALL: Too big.
[2 days pass]
KISA: Hmmm...
KENDALL: Yup.
KISA: How about Glamis (pronounced "Glomz" for you stupid yanks) Castle?
KENDALL: Okay.
[Wondering about the lowdown on Glamis castle? Go here: http://www.hauntedcastlesandhotels.com/Scotland/glamis.htm ]
STEP TWO, NEW PARTICIPANTS.
[Kendall picks up the phone and calls Aragorn.]
KENDALL: Hey, Aragorn! Guess what! You want to do another SPOME! Now you get to tell everybody! Loser.
ARAGORN: Yay! Bas****.
[Aragorn gets to work calling everybody from the first one. He begins quickly marking off almost everybody from the first one with a lot of, "F*** NO, FAGGOT! Don't call me here again!" The only people he can get from the first one are Gimli, Eowyn, Merry, Boromir and Legolas. So, he moves on to new people.]
[Kisa’s phone rings.]
KISA: [picks up the receiver] What?
ARAGORN: Well, Gimli, Eowyn, Merry, Boz and Legsie say yes, but that’s it.
KISA: How much do they want?
ARAGORN: 5.
KISA: Grand? We can do that.
ARAGORN: Million.
KISA: Well, tell ‘em we said hi. Do you have new folks for us?
ARAGORN: Yeah, Grima and the Twins agreed. We’re still short one.
KISA: Don’t worry about the last one. We’ll take care of it.
ARAGORN: Okay, see you later then.
KISA: See you in Hell. [hangs up] We have some calls to make
.
KENDALL: You can count on me seeing you in the parking lot!
KISA: …You don’t make any sense. [picks up the phone and dials] Hey, man, how’s it going? Yeah, awesome, I don’t care. Listen, do you want to be in SPOME 2? Come on! Hey, you can have free punches at Kendall.
KENDALL: What?
KISA: Please! [pauses] HEY, F*** YOU, BUDDY! [pauses] Yeah, well I’ll be telling your father that tonight IN BED! [slams down phone] Okay, so he says no.
KENDALL: I already got somebody like, yesterday.
KISA: [long pause] You son of a—
Who is the mystery guest? Will the new participants get along with the veterans? Will K&K ever finish this? Find out in SPOME 2!
