What we learn from video games: 1. You can beat anyone, only if you have enough quarters. 2. One good guy is always better than 7 bad guys, and he usually kills them with one hit. 3. A boss would rather have you beat up 20 of his henchmen than to just kill you himself using his ridiculous special moves. 4. It's always a good idea to eat stuff you see lying around on the floor. 5. Many nice things are hidden inside other things which you can break open without causing harm to the nice thing. 6. If someone dies they disappear.  7. It is possible to change your direction in mid air by repeating your jumping motion.  8. You never run out of ammunition, just grenades.  9. When huge fat people are about to die, they flash with yellow and red. 10. When you are born you fall from the sky, and are invincible for a short time. 11. The enemy always leaves weapons and power-ups lying around for no other reason than so that their bitter enemy can pick them up and defeat them with it. 12. Gang members frequently all look alike and all have the same names. 13. Reloading a gun is a simple procedure. Simply fire a gun away from your line of sight. 14. You can walk into the homes of total strangers and rummage through their dressers. If you find something nice, you can keep it. You don't even have to talk to the people who live there. 15. People always fire at the exact same height and distance, therefore  it is possible to block nice big chunks of bullet fire using a small knife. 16. Eating strange-looking mushrooms turns you into a giant. 17. Uppercuts are powerful enough to send opponents through ceilings. 18. Robots, in order to hide (or enhance?) their skinny legs, must wear spandex. 19. Guns are for decoration only, and should never be used in a one-on-one fight...they can be fired in celebration, though. 20. If someone has a large, slow weapon, they will neglect the use of any other normal attacking tool such as their fist so that they can swing wildly and miss with the large weapon. 21. The slower you punch, the stronger it will be. 22. People have an incredible threshold for pain, until the last pitiful slap to the ankles sends them flying through the air and crashing to the ground, lapsing painfully into unconsciousness. 23. If a 300lb. Australian jumps 200 ft. into the air and lands butt-first on your face, you'll still be able to get up. 24. If you train hard enough, you can project energy from you hands. 25. Everyone can jump at least 1 1/2 times their own height. 26. Sleep is the key to health. 27. Money can buy everything. A new new life costs about $100. 28. Bad guys can't hurt other bad guys, even when they throw grenades and shoot artillery into crowds of their allies. 29. Really powerful bad guys will always let down their shields or defense for a short period of time giving you a convenient time to attack them.  30. When walking outside of a town, enemies will appear out of nowhere on a regular basis. 31. All shopkeepers pay exactly 1/2 the retail price of anything sold to them used, even though everything you sell them is in mint condition. 32. Anything that can be thrown is destroyed after it is thrown. 33. If you save desperate people, they will give you rare items which they could have used themselves to save themselves from their desperate situation. 34. Throwing someone hurts more than stabbing them with your metal claw. 35. Bleeding stops after impact. 36. If you touch bad guys, it hurts only you and not them. 37. Smashing things doesn't hurt. 38. People can jump straight up through the ceiling and end up on the next floor. 39. Floors can move without being supported by anything. 40. Boxes always go through the same stages of damage before they break. 41. You can duck behind a wooden bench to avoid getting hit by rockets. 42. People in the background never get hurt. 43. When racing, go as fast as you can and bounce of the sides of the road instead of turning. Your car won't get damaged. 44. When people run, they loose complete control of their turning ability. 45. When you're mad, you fight better. 46. You can't move at the same time that you are being punched no matter how weak it is. 47. Jumping down from high buildings doesn't hurt, unless you just walk off the edge in which case you will fall horizontally and die. 48. Just press the reset button when your friend is better than you at something.   Back to top mail me any additions

Funny Humor / What we learn from video games