marine beach party.. wooohoo
Mood:  flirty
Now Playing: feed good Inc. - Gorillaz
Topic: Memories
wow.. so the marine beach party i went to on saturday was so much fun.. lets just say ten single males and me.. :).. oh plus my sis and her bf Ben.. but did i mention me and ten single guys..wow yup.. dont be jealous.. hahaha.. but yeah.. it was a lot of fun.. we listened to music, had a bbq, and just chiled and relaxed all day... i gave almost all the guys massages... and help put sunscreen on them.. hehehe.. and of course all the guys were fighting over.. who got to put suntan lotion on me and who was going to give me a massage.. so i got a few massages.. lol.. but i wont complain about that ;).. then our cake fight.. lol.. well first ben got cake all over his face and then he scraped it off and put it on his gf's face aka my sister.. and then it just went from there.. everyone started to get cake all over them.. Reynolds was trying to protect me.. but then the guys got me.. and i had the most cake on me.. covered from my head to my toes.. lol.. i didnt want to get into the water to get myself cleaned off.. so i started to put cake on the people who were clean.. hehehe.. i got almost everyone.. and then all of us decided to take a walk down the beach.. so i am walking with reynolds and my sis and ben and 9 drunk single males.. they were singing and going crazy on the beach.. it was hilarious..and then they started a mud fight.. so of course i got hit with mud.. and i was covered with cake and mud at one time.. it was funny... and then the guys picked me up and tried to toss me into the ocean.. haha.. but yeah.. then we were all freezing cold.. cuz it was getting dark.. and we went to camp pendleton..i had some more fun.. but yeah.. it was just a wonderful day.. i should have took lots of pictures.. but oh well.. anyways.. i am back online now.. did you all miss me?.. i missed you.. well take care and keep smiliing.. love ya.. xoxo.. bye for now.. and p.s. if u read all of this.. you are one of the coolest friends on my list.. hahaha... and you must be really bored but yeah.. thats tight.. thanks.. bye

love always Jess

hanging by a thread
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: hanging by a thread-
Topic: saddness
hanging by a thread
Current mood: lonely


---hanging by a thread--



When I cry, I close my eyes
And every tear falls down inside.
And I pray, with all my might
That I will find in my heart
In someone's arms.
When I cry, cry when I am sad,
I think of every awful thing I ever did.
When I cry, there is no love.
No, there is nothing. Nothing
That would comfort me enough.

When I cry, cry cry
The salt inside my body ruins
Everyone I come close to.
My hands barely hold up my head.
Oh, I am so tired
Of looking at my feet.
And all the secrets that I keep!

My heart is barely
Hanging by a thread,
Hanging by a thread.
Oh, look at me;
At all I've done.
I've lost so many things
That I so dearly love:
I lost my soul,
I lost my pride.
Oh, I lost any hope
Of having a good life, so....

I cry, cry, cry.
The salt inside my body ruins
Everyone I come close to.
My hands are barely holding up my head.
Oh, I am so tired
Of looking at my feet
And all the secrets that I keep.

My heart is
Hanging by a thread
Hanging by a thread
I miss you all;
I wish I was with you

Now

I wish I was....

I
am
.
.
sad
depressed
confused
lonely
lost

bf cheats
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: we belong together- Mariah Carey
Topic: relationships
this is cute so i had to repost it.. i mean read it.. its for my ex..

B0Y : why don't you like me?
GiRL : i do like you .. it's just ...
B0Y : just .. what?
GiRL : i'm so afraid to fall again.
B0Y : this is different..
GiRL : how is this any different?!?
B0Y : because this time .... i'll catch you
BOY : what should i do?
GIRL : just follow your heart
BOY : what do you think my heart says?
GIRL : idk... im not your heart
BOY : your most of it
Girl : How long will you love me?
Boy : How long is the universe?
Girl : Silly, the universe doesn't end.
Boy : Silly, that's how long I'll love you -- forever

Love is.. being happy for the other person when they're happy being sad for the other person when they're sad being together in good times and being together in bad times Love is the source of strength

okay so andrea.. you love him... well then you will always love him.. and i know you do.. but dont ever hurt him okay?.. he is wonderful and tho he hurt me so much.. i unfortunately love him also..and i want him to be happy.. even if it means i lose him.. and to my ex bf.. treavor i know you love her.. and you will always love her.. i just hope your following your heart.. and just cherish our memories and hold them forever.. and hold me into your heart like i will of you.. but you know what... i will be okay.. cuz i dont need you to be happy and losing you.. wont kill me.. yeah i do admit it hurts like hell right now.. but i know i will be okay.. cuz i am strong... and i know my friends are by me and i know that special someone loves me.. and maybe i have found him and maybe you were it..or maybe i havent met him yet.. but its better to love and lost then to never love at all...but u know what..sometimes people come into your life, and you know right away that they were meant to be there.. like you were meant to be.. they serve some sort of purpose, teach u a lesson or help you figure out who you are and who u want to become and this is what you showed me.. you let me open up to you like i never have done in the past.. i know who i am and i am someone special.. i wish you could have seen that in me.. but i guess you didnt.. but others do.. and..... sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never have realized your potential strength, will power, or heart... and now i have one of the strongest and most powerful heart.. because i have lost everything that i loved in less than a year.. and i am still here and i am still alive... but because you betrayed and hurt my heart.. the only thing i can do is forgive you.. because you helped me learn about trust and how stupid i was for not being cautious.. but one lesson you need to learn.. is that "if someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love. make each day count. appreciate every moment, and take from it evrything that you possibly can" but the sad thing is.. i was commited to you and only you.. and i am so much stronger than you..you were weak.. you couldnt even just be with me..and when you got back with her.. you couldnt even tell me.. what are you afraid of?... did you think i would hate you because you loved another girl..??.. yeah i would be upset.. but i cant get mad at you for loving someone else... because i love you..i want you to be happy.. so i hope your happy..k? well i wish you both the best of luck.. this will be my final goodbye to both of you..

p.s. i will always love you