to the nice girls
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: we belong together- Mariah Carey
Topic: girls
OKAY NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION.. HAHAHA..

please read this thanks.. and please post a comment.. to let me know u read it... even if your comment just says hi.. at least i will know that your my true friend and that you cared about my life..



To the Nice Girls
This rant was written because a nice girl finally snapped.
I have read the tribute to the nice guys; this is my revised response.

This is my tribute to the nice girls.. The ones who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more.. who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions trying to impress some guy.. because it must be that are doing something wrong and that they are never good enough for the guy they truely want to be with.. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date.. who don't want to play mind games and dont want to hurt anyone.. who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times.. The girls who are always there for you and would do anything for you.. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they are interested in aren't either, and eventho they know no one is perfect.. the typical guy is still looking for that perfect girl.. for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood.. To get the attention of the guy we want would be so exciting.. but why do we waste so much of our time.. and wait for him.. hmmm.. because we fucking care too much.. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often.. the ones who just want to have fun and enjoy life.. and laughing is the cure to happiness.. and then guys make fun of her because she is always happy and smiling and laughing..and then now her self-esteem is ruined.. cuz she is made fun of...this is for the girls who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots.. who dont care so much about what they look like.. were not on earth to try to impress dumb ass guys to liking us because of how we look... so why do we try so hard.. cuz the truth is.. guys will pay attention more to the pretty girls.. and no matter what you say guys.. its the truth.. you will always look at the pretty girl first.. this is for the girls.. who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and screw up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better,.. and will push away there feelings for the guy they like.. just so they can help him and give him advice so he can be happy.. as long as he is happy.. who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages,.. and you all know i have.. but have u noticed that.. i think only a few.. some people are even smart enough to call me when i am away.. to see whats wrong.. and tho i usually wont pick up my phone at these times.. just seeing my phone ring with your name on my phone.. makes me smile... so thanks to the only few that care enough to make sure everything is okay with me... when yet.. most of you..who do you come to when you have problems.. hmmm me for the most part? but you all dont have two minutes of your time to help someone who could really need it...anyways..i am going off track here.. hahaha... this is for the girls who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt.. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty.. who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with... and then a stupid jerk decides to cheat.. and then you feel like the last couple of months were pointless and meaningless and all full of lies from the person you thought was everything to you.. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready.. he's just not over her.. he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone.. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place.. this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship.. it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after falling to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep.. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends.. for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy.. but really if i was so beautiful, amazing, and loyal.. then why are guys always cheating.. and why am i never good enough for someone.. this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears.. knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear.. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something.. this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more.. for the girls who don't think that they deserve more.. because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand.. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys.. the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made.. Guys complain that they never meet nice girls.. girls who are genuinely interested and compelling.. who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful and always loyal; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend.. would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior.. who called you and told the truth about how she felt about you? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for a loyal, sweet, caring, fun, and loving girl.. you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.. i mean what is the point.. a one-night stand..how much did that really help? i mean it suppose to be a quick fix.. but what is it really fixing.. its not fixing your love life.. its not helping you get more girls.. the only thing it is helping.. is you and your ego and maybe it helps with your buddies telling them "hey i fucked another girl last night.. it was good"... wow your really going to go very far in life with that.. now arent you..

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take.. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing..we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend.. but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express.. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug or kiss (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other.. guys just remember.. nice girls wont try to hurt you.. they just want a relationship.. they are looking for "the one" to spend there lives with.. the guy they want to marry and have kids with .. and live happily ever after

love always Jess

marine beach party.. wooohoo
Mood:  flirty
Now Playing: feed good Inc. - Gorillaz
Topic: Memories
wow.. so the marine beach party i went to on saturday was so much fun.. lets just say ten single males and me.. :).. oh plus my sis and her bf Ben.. but did i mention me and ten single guys..wow yup.. dont be jealous.. hahaha.. but yeah.. it was a lot of fun.. we listened to music, had a bbq, and just chiled and relaxed all day... i gave almost all the guys massages... and help put sunscreen on them.. hehehe.. and of course all the guys were fighting over.. who got to put suntan lotion on me and who was going to give me a massage.. so i got a few massages.. lol.. but i wont complain about that ;).. then our cake fight.. lol.. well first ben got cake all over his face and then he scraped it off and put it on his gf's face aka my sister.. and then it just went from there.. everyone started to get cake all over them.. Reynolds was trying to protect me.. but then the guys got me.. and i had the most cake on me.. covered from my head to my toes.. lol.. i didnt want to get into the water to get myself cleaned off.. so i started to put cake on the people who were clean.. hehehe.. i got almost everyone.. and then all of us decided to take a walk down the beach.. so i am walking with reynolds and my sis and ben and 9 drunk single males.. they were singing and going crazy on the beach.. it was hilarious..and then they started a mud fight.. so of course i got hit with mud.. and i was covered with cake and mud at one time.. it was funny... and then the guys picked me up and tried to toss me into the ocean.. haha.. but yeah.. then we were all freezing cold.. cuz it was getting dark.. and we went to camp pendleton..i had some more fun.. but yeah.. it was just a wonderful day.. i should have took lots of pictures.. but oh well.. anyways.. i am back online now.. did you all miss me?.. i missed you.. well take care and keep smiliing.. love ya.. xoxo.. bye for now.. and p.s. if u read all of this.. you are one of the coolest friends on my list.. hahaha... and you must be really bored but yeah.. thats tight.. thanks.. bye

love always Jess

hanging by a thread
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: hanging by a thread-
Topic: saddness
hanging by a thread
Current mood: lonely


---hanging by a thread--



When I cry, I close my eyes
And every tear falls down inside.
And I pray, with all my might
That I will find in my heart
In someone's arms.
When I cry, cry when I am sad,
I think of every awful thing I ever did.
When I cry, there is no love.
No, there is nothing. Nothing
That would comfort me enough.

When I cry, cry cry
The salt inside my body ruins
Everyone I come close to.
My hands barely hold up my head.
Oh, I am so tired
Of looking at my feet.
And all the secrets that I keep!

My heart is barely
Hanging by a thread,
Hanging by a thread.
Oh, look at me;
At all I've done.
I've lost so many things
That I so dearly love:
I lost my soul,
I lost my pride.
Oh, I lost any hope
Of having a good life, so....

I cry, cry, cry.
The salt inside my body ruins
Everyone I come close to.
My hands are barely holding up my head.
Oh, I am so tired
Of looking at my feet
And all the secrets that I keep.

My heart is
Hanging by a thread
Hanging by a thread
I miss you all;
I wish I was with you

Now

I wish I was....

I
am
.
.
sad
depressed
confused
lonely
lost

bf cheats
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: we belong together- Mariah Carey
Topic: relationships
this is cute so i had to repost it.. i mean read it.. its for my ex..

B0Y : why don't you like me?
GiRL : i do like you .. it's just ...
B0Y : just .. what?
GiRL : i'm so afraid to fall again.
B0Y : this is different..
GiRL : how is this any different?!?
B0Y : because this time .... i'll catch you
BOY : what should i do?
GIRL : just follow your heart
BOY : what do you think my heart says?
GIRL : idk... im not your heart
BOY : your most of it
Girl : How long will you love me?
Boy : How long is the universe?
Girl : Silly, the universe doesn't end.
Boy : Silly, that's how long I'll love you -- forever

Love is.. being happy for the other person when they're happy being sad for the other person when they're sad being together in good times and being together in bad times Love is the source of strength

okay so andrea.. you love him... well then you will always love him.. and i know you do.. but dont ever hurt him okay?.. he is wonderful and tho he hurt me so much.. i unfortunately love him also..and i want him to be happy.. even if it means i lose him.. and to my ex bf.. treavor i know you love her.. and you will always love her.. i just hope your following your heart.. and just cherish our memories and hold them forever.. and hold me into your heart like i will of you.. but you know what... i will be okay.. cuz i dont need you to be happy and losing you.. wont kill me.. yeah i do admit it hurts like hell right now.. but i know i will be okay.. cuz i am strong... and i know my friends are by me and i know that special someone loves me.. and maybe i have found him and maybe you were it..or maybe i havent met him yet.. but its better to love and lost then to never love at all...but u know what..sometimes people come into your life, and you know right away that they were meant to be there.. like you were meant to be.. they serve some sort of purpose, teach u a lesson or help you figure out who you are and who u want to become and this is what you showed me.. you let me open up to you like i never have done in the past.. i know who i am and i am someone special.. i wish you could have seen that in me.. but i guess you didnt.. but others do.. and..... sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never have realized your potential strength, will power, or heart... and now i have one of the strongest and most powerful heart.. because i have lost everything that i loved in less than a year.. and i am still here and i am still alive... but because you betrayed and hurt my heart.. the only thing i can do is forgive you.. because you helped me learn about trust and how stupid i was for not being cautious.. but one lesson you need to learn.. is that "if someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love. make each day count. appreciate every moment, and take from it evrything that you possibly can" but the sad thing is.. i was commited to you and only you.. and i am so much stronger than you..you were weak.. you couldnt even just be with me..and when you got back with her.. you couldnt even tell me.. what are you afraid of?... did you think i would hate you because you loved another girl..??.. yeah i would be upset.. but i cant get mad at you for loving someone else... because i love you..i want you to be happy.. so i hope your happy..k? well i wish you both the best of luck.. this will be my final goodbye to both of you..

p.s. i will always love you