Mood:
downyea yea so ... i been a bit down lately... but how the hell can a person but not feel this way.... :S.... ever have that feeling that another person give you and u dont even know it till they are gone... like givin u the ambition to get up in the morning.... the drive to do things to make it better...the feeling of being able to say i love you.... man... its horiable to loose all those feelings in the blink of an eye... very scary really..... how can ONE person have such an influence on another and not even know it... or not even know how much they do mean to another.... fucked up i say.... its like ya breath something of them by just being in the same room... how messed up....people say move on... but how...like really... when ever since, a certain day, of a look across a room it seamed right.... why is it that a path goes one way then all of a sudden there is a road block...is it a learning place in time... or is it a sign....like can someone tell me... others can see the good in things.... why cant we see them all....is there a reason behind this mystery... or is it just misery that a person is suposed to go threw in their life.... is it a passing moment.... really though....so many unanswered questions... so many unresolved issues...but really... are these issues that much of a big thing that it comes inbetween people as it does unconditional is that in the dictionary... its in mine ... guess that is irrivelent... just makes a person wonder.... what is... "true"... what is .... "love"...... what are they together.... is this just a game we are forced to play... even though its nothing a person wants to play cause there isnt anything to win at the end.... or is that it, Competition that makes winners and looser in this game :S...and we dont even know it... ok back to what people want.... what is it.. :S... i know what i want its not that much.... i have lots to offer... i do....:S.... i have changed i will change and i am changin every day.... guess some dont see it... but i do... is that the main thing .... hummmm....im turnin 29 this year... and what do i have to show :S... not a dam thing...not where i want to be...but lord knows what i do want ... i just wish i could show how i feel inside to people on the out side :S... might actually prove something.... but when a person is a certain way for so long its a hard thing to do... but it is something that will happen... i do have faith in my self for this i see it everyday... just wish it could happen sooner than later... for the sake of...that stupid game we play... its just all a dam game... and wish someone would write down the rules and pass it around.. would make it more fair dont ya think.... man am i ever rambling on about nuttin.... just guess i had lots on my mind... hopefuly it dosent sound to messed up.... or someone can make sence out of it......so i should sign out for now.... enough said :S..... maybe some one who reads this will understand... it just dosent matter what anyone else says i know where my heart is...and where it fits... no one can take that away from me...
so this is me
signing out for now
Ryan