ok so where do i go from here.... the smoke has cleared... the chaos i been into lately... and well the fire is a new lady i met.... she is awsome she fired me up... in the most wonderful way it has been so dam long since i felt "good". about my self and my being she made me smile a true genuine smile... it has been like well 6 months since i been like that... and prob around 3 years since i felt that crazy way.... she made me feel like a person that she wanted to be around.. that is such a nice feeling.... we spent sunday evening together under the nice evening sky at north cape... talked about tons of stuff... then spent the evening watching the sun set and the stars blanket the sky out in malpeque it was soooo wonderful ... and such a great feeling .... i dont think i have ever done that with anyone before... quite sad really.... but on a differnt note she is gone back home :(... 800 kms away down in Maine... why did i meet her.. was there a reason... is it fate is it foolishness.... only time will tell me these answers.. but i do know i will continues to know this person... either as a friend or maybe more.... so yea i finally had a real smile on my face been awhile.. but now that has sorta dwindled away... back home alone again and dealing with the battles that create the chaos in my head.... so i must sign out for now... somewhat humble and happy but not totally pleased ....
chow for now
Ry