Sunday, 9 October 2005 - 12:59 AM EDT

Hey! I am the one with the hair..what do you want? Didn't really stop long enough to find out...or really didn't care! Oh well...it was funny, if nothing else.
Didn't tell you the cab drivers comment when you got out of the car last night...he looked at me and said "Where are you going? ... You staying here?" I told him yes I was going to stay...my car was sitting in the lane it only really made sense :) His comments were quite comical...the was he said them :) Thanks again for the hospitality...hope you got some enjoyment out of the evening out...the comversation...and the company :)

Take it easy!

Sunday, 9 October 2005 - 1:47 AM EDT

Think real hard about what you are saying. Is she the only one with an issue? As far as the one with 'the hair' goes, much has changed in her life. The bitch part? She has you to thank for that. One day she had enough. She woke up with alot of anger from the emotional abuse and said, "It is time to let go of the good AND the bad, time to walk away from all of the games, time to stop wasting every waking second with wondering whether or not the things you said about me were true". None of them are true. You didn't and still don't know her at all. SO, once she had recovered from all of verbal diarhhea that had been thrown at her all of that time, she realized what she had been sucked into. It just went too far. She had been this naive, passive girl that allowed you to have this sick control over her mind. The worst part is you probably didn't even know you were doing it. Or worse, you DID know and enjoyed it. It was never her intention to hurt you at all, but everyone hurts, life hurts. The only issue she has now is to put an end to the animosity and unsettling anger she feels when she as much as looks at you. What you should do is go as far away from here as you can, run like the wind, and don't ever look back. The longer you sit and rant on and on and on about the past, the more of your life you are missing. You should also stop reading into things so much. No one is poking fun at you. If anything, there are only some that wouldn't mind dishing some back at you for the way you treat them and the comments you muster out of your mouth. But, that is fine, anything you do or say doesn't affect anyone. It is easy to see the way you act and the things you do are out of anger and hurt. It is amazing how we species work isn't it? We put so much time and effort into talking about people whom we think are selfish bitches with bad hair. Look around you Ryan, the world continues turning, with so much more important things happening, much worse things too. It seemed as though you were looking desperately for a comment, so hopefully this will suffice. It may have pissed you off or it may have brought you some insight into the unknown, either way, a strong dose of reality is needed.

Monday, 10 October 2005 - 6:11 AM EDT

well isnt that interesting there lisa... yea... so obviously u guys are into the fucken drama.. cant even spend a gd night with out trying to find a way to piss ex's off right... why dont u just leave me alone... cant even walk by with out poking some sorta fun... just to "see" what happens... and u called me immature... oh and the running part.. nope not running just trying to get on my feet again... and yea i know the world turns around.. guess its just odd how someone can look u in the eye say they want to marry u have kids and all that wonderful stuff that goes along with life.. then all of a sudden after a fucken arguement over PIZZA...they just walk out on ya... but i guess that is some peoples nature... run before they are traped into some life long comittment... drama... one thing i avoid all together.. but i guess yas need it to survive cause if not what would ya do eh... oh well... just like it if you do see me just keep walking i dont need no more BS from anyone... had enough of that... anyways i gota run to work... i am sure ill post more later... just dont have time at the moment....
Ry

Monday, 10 October 2005 - 10:52 AM EDT

Well look at that, Lisa thought she would get the blame for that comment after I mentioned it to her. Why would I need someone else to say what I want to say? And how would I even expect someone else to know what I went through enough to talk about it in detail?? No, Ryan, this is someone who is a bit closer to home than you realize. As far as the drama goes, since you were the one to bring it up, I'm thinking that you saw what we didn't. I have no use for poking fun at you, nor do my friends. You obviously have the right to judge and assume all you want, but the beauty of it is, you no longer have any power over me what-so-ever. People can believe what you have portrayed me to be if they want to, that I left you in the cold, over pizza. Sure. It was alllll about the pizza. It was never about, however, the way you made me feel as a person. You destroyed my self esteem, you had me believing by the end of it, that I really was all of the things you said I was. It is called emotional abuse. My daughter paid for it and so did I. So don't bother sitting there pointing your finger at me. The running away part, first of all, isn't meant to be running away at all. What I was referring to was the fact that you need to move on bigtime. That was supposed to be me giving you a healthy piece of advice, but yet again, you missed that one. Go ahead, continue on calling me a bitch one time, then saying how much you miss me the next, if that is what you want to do. It's ok with me, my ground is solid, my future is forseeable, my heart is almost whole, and my prayers are still with you, because whether you like it or not you need them. I am not your enemy here Ryan, you are.

Monday, 10 October 2005 - 1:55 PM EDT

yea well i guess i was fool.. but please do make it clear how the hell did i cause u emotional abuse.. gawd.. u said your self i seen huge change in you er me... and u seen change in your self.. gawd.. i dont understand... even less now.. guess that puts me into a different bracket... and yea one day im awful one day i am not.. cause i am messed up.. first one to admit it... and why do u even bother reading my shit i wrote... never wanted u to read it was ust somewhere to blab on .. get some shit out.. cause lord knows i need it... and i realy am competely sorry about "K"... and not sure how i hurt her so bad.. cause your the one who left me "again"... emotional abuse that is a good one.. and self esteem jeese guess wanting to spend every waking moment with u and telling u how great u are in alot more ways than just saying your beautiful... wow... thats got me fucked up ... gave u more time to your self than last time and that is abuse..completely fooled me ... guess shouldnt have even said hi to ya on that Jan 1 jeese.. cant do nothing right.... and i never wanted power over u EVER.... believe that if u wish or not... nothing i can do... u know me u always have for years...u know me like no one else knows me.. and u know the truith if u can say that i never tried to support you, the best and alot more than last time with u what so ever the second time around... gawd... i truly miss "K" never wanted to hurt her... hell I was competly fucken scard shitless to see her again .. didnt want to tell u that though :S.... hell was scared shitless to see u again face to face to get right down to it..... but that is nothing worth even discussing about... u walked out.. didnt even give a reason less than last time really .. go figure eh... yea moving on.. tryin the best i can... difficult eh... things were said.. things that hit the heart hard, burned moments into it... nothing i can just shut off really... prob wont ever till the day my heart stops beating... but why am i going here.. enough.... and your prayers are with me that is nice to hear really... and thanks... seriously though thanks... my "thoughts" are with u to... but not prayers.. cause i never made that step "yet".... oh well maybe some day i might get a wake up... or not.. one never knows.... not much more i can say...a part of me is gone gone for ever ever i know... to the very end all i know is..........( )....


mindless clearless and confused
bye

Monday, 10 October 2005 - 6:45 PM EDT

I have no idea why I read this, I really don't. It never made any sense to me the few times I have read it. And the only reason why I did comment was because you involved my friends in it. Say what you want about me, I don't give a shit, but not my friends. You were the one that started the ridiculous uncalled for comments over the summer to my friends. Well, one person in particular and I know why you feel that way towards her. It is the classic jealous ritual which developed with you over her during the time we had dated. I know it doesn't bother them, just like it doesn't bother me what you say about me, but it is still so wrong. If you don't know what you did to me, then I can refresh your memory if you really want me to. I can show you quite a few examples of emotional abuse; I haven't forgot any of it, do you know why? BECAUSE IT DOESN'T GO AWAY! That's right, it doesn't heal. Technically, it's worse than physical abuse for that reason. But the whole shitload of it only made me stronger, so I put it to good use. Don't worry about "K" she is stronger than anyone I know, including myself. Yet again though, I protected you from looking bad, so don't worry yourself. It's just the the drifting in and out that disrupts things and leaves mass confusion. Any adult should know that but maybe not everyone understands. In regards to me leaving you "again", you, me, everyone knows why that happened. As far as my prayers go, thank God for that. I am lead to pray for you, it is not like I totally WANT to do it, but you are on my heart to do so. That is it from me. I will no longer glance at your blog any longer; I will have nothing more to say to you, and I have no reason to defend myself. I guess if I don't see what you say about the people in my life, then I will not have the urge to retaliate. I mean really, anyone who reads this shit that has been posted could clearly see why things went down the way they did, it is nauseating. Let me know via comment if you would like any explaining done about 'what was abusive about our relationship' and I can elaborate more on that. Other than that, I am sure you will find it in a book I just have to write someday.

Wednesday, 12 October 2005 - 6:42 PM EDT

Wow, what's truly remarkable is I have no Idea who "she" is. And well, from what I can gather "she" was so completely justified in leaving you. I mean jesus, do you ever hear yourself. I have never encountered someone who was so beyond self involved in all my life. You have this uncanny way of making the people around you feel like absolute crap. I truely hope for your sake it's an unconcious act and not something you specificly do just to heighten yourself. Ryan, the anger and hostility you hold against the world is hurting absolutly nobody but yourself. Other people get over, and move on, but not you. You'd rather sit and stew over all the shit in your life, which I might add, seems you create yourself. I fear that one day you will wake up, turn on your computer and read the shit you've written and realize what you sound like. I for one can tell you one thing that all these blogs have in common, an absolute lack of respect for women. They are not objects to bend to your whims, nor are their soul objectives to make you feel better about you. Thats something you must do for yourself, and I suggest you do it soon before you have not one friend left.

Wednesday, 12 October 2005 - 6:49 PM EDT

yea well that is your oppinion.. i guess its just a place for me to vent... i dont care what u think really.. u dont need to read my shit.. and why are u .. none of your business really now is it... yup im hostile and have lots of anger... that is my shit to deal with not your really... but thats your oppinion again... good for u .. thanks for commenting

Saturday, 15 October 2005 - 2:04 PM EDT

All I care about right now is, who IS this? And well done.

Saturday, 15 October 2005 - 8:46 PM EDT

ok yea why and who are u then... and what do u mean is u care about who this IS... that i am confused about.. or maybe its to much booze talking hahaha.. any who... chow
thanks for commenting
Ry

Sunday, 16 October 2005 - 11:19 AM EDT

it is so nice to see her tell u like it is... lol.. you are a joke and i think that is why everyone in your life leaves u bye the sounds of it. My God wake up man and look around to see what self destruction u are doing to yourself and how you feel sorry for yourself. DO you really think people want to listen to the constant wining about you and only you.. boohoo you are such a joke and if it is a place to vent then do it in private, because by the sounds of it u like people reading this shit and us people out there that just come across it look at it and say what the hell is this guy doing, he is definetly not going to find a woman wining like this. And u are a mean person so i will agree 100% with her and i know how she feels in saying that u make people feel like shit about themselves.

Wednesday, 19 October 2005 - 9:20 PM EDT

I must say I had you and your one good fuck. I would do u again in no time.

Wednesday, 19 October 2005 - 9:23 PM EDT

well now talk about fucked up.. who the hell are all these people posting.. gawd cant people put names... .... i am horny HAHAHAHAH that is a good one.. now to figure out who the silly arse is that is posting that shit..... toooooooo funny actually made me laugh for once in a long time hahaha..
cheers
Ry

Thursday, 20 October 2005 - 1:11 PM EDT

Omg this shit is hilarious. Omg Ryan, at the very least you evoke emotion, might not be all good, but you bring it out anyway..LOL I'm cracking up here reading all this stuff. Do me a favor will ya.... keep smiling no matter what and always rememeber you might piss us off, you might drive us crazy, but hey if you didn't matter to people then you wouldn't even be able to do that. The greatest anger comes out at those we care about! Nobody would be reading let alone commenting if they didn't feel a little something, and feeling, good or bad, is still feeling!

Thursday, 20 October 2005 - 5:00 PM EDT

hahaha i think i know who it is now... hehe.... trouble that is... and yes u are so right.. its these things that poke at my mind every day... you are sooo right there about the feelings things... weather its me or someone else.. if your pissed off or other still means something dosent it... i made lots of impressions on people cause i know lots of people hate me... but i guess its the fact that i speak my mind.. maybe someday... i can look back and other maybe able to also and say yup.. he never fed u any bull shit... hah.. anywho.. glad ya posted there babes...
chat to ya soon :)
cheers and good luck
RY