Sunday, 9 April 2006 - 4:30 AM EDT

Hi Ry,

Sounds like you are really homesick. I know it must be difficult to be so far from all that you know and love. I think you can make it work for you wherever you are, you just have to decide what you want. Well I know from reading all of this that you want your old life back with a certain someone. If it is possible at all then go for it, though you also already know what happened when you last tried that. No one ever said love would be easy. Certainly no one ever said that moving on after loving, and having your heart broke would be easy. It is hard not to dwell though it also doesn't help you or anyone else out when you do dwell on the past or on what could have been, or the "if only"s ...IF you know for certain that it just won't work together with her, then for everyones sake, including hers, you will have to start letting go. You may always mourn what you had or could have had, but you will never achieve what you hope for most in life if you don't start letting the past go. You cannot move to the future while still clutching the past. It may help to talk with someone about all this...even on here with someone if it would help. Anonymously or what not. You might just talk yourself in circles without anothers help. Don't be afraid of really confiding in another (but pick them wisely).

God bless you and I pray that you will be able to sort through all that you are feeling and going through and eventually be at peace about how and where your life is going. If you don't like where it is going, then you have to change something about it. You already have changed plenty, but I don't mean location. I think you can figure out what should be changed if you are to get out of life what you find most important.

btw, it really doesn't matter who I am. I am not the woman you care about so deeply...just someone who cares.

Tuesday, 11 April 2006 - 8:17 AM EDT

yea i totally understand... for my sake and hers.. but when ya meet someone that makes such a huge impact in your life no matter what bumps ya have together u can still look at them and say yea its ok.... we can work this out... and willing to try and work it out no matter the problem its hard to just say good bye... and think what if... yes i know u say ya always think of the what if's.... but i guess untill u been there.... i met alot of people males and females and not a one person even comes close to the mental and emotional connection i had with her.... just one of those things i guess...... and for abouts where my life is going well im just living one day at a time.. maybe just maybe ill be happy completely with my self... until then im just living... people may think that i am just fine i am doing ok... but i am not... i think about home.. i think about past events.... lots of stuff... i have a hard time just thinking about the future cause nothing has ever went my way... always a struggle... weather its relationship or work... or life events...... anyways... thanks for your comment wish i new who it was.... makes me suspecious thats ok i guess....anyways gota run
cheers
Ry