HEY U WITH THE HAIR
OK WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH U.... gawd does anyone have a fucken sense in their head... maybe i should have stalked her and gave her and her friends something to talk about.. er no maybe i should her family... but no i walked away.. gave her space... gave her life back apparently she want me in it.... but for fuck sakes keep your mouth shut or keep your and your friends comments to your self... idont appreciate it at all.... talk behind my back all u wish... jeese... and u called me immature in the past... like wtf... been what 6 months and your still poking fun at me... give it up... seen me twice since and what... does it mean something.. maybe its a defensive issue u have to be a bitch or have friends do that to cover up how u really feel about me.. jeese... if u have something ya want to discuss just do it... have delt with alot of shit i am sure i can deal with more ... but anyways on that note... last night was fun.... good women to men ratio at the club prob around 15-1 ... and i loved it haha.. danced with 14 women... only new 3 but thats alright.. had fun anyways... lots drank... me and polished off prob 19 of those shooters.. yummy... still have some left... so what am i going to do .. lets see.... hummm dunno.. oh well... i must run for now.. find something to do...and on that note... oh yea i said i was dont saying anything bout her.. but i just had to... it still fucken hurts to even see her ... yea yea that is the truith... but what can u do.. plug on and live away.... just had to rant a bit... had an issue... but i guess that is normal for someone to makes their own drama.... cause i sure dont.. i live my life how i like to live it and i am enjoying it the best that i can... miss u much...
god bless
good day good evening and good nite
cheers
Ry

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Mood:  energetic
well well well its friday again.. what am i doing.. its 752 exactly lets see how long it takes me to post this... so hahah.. started drinkin early tonight say around 530 .. wahoooo.... hehe... and well i have some company commin over.. well i hope so.. they are enroute... so we will see... hopefully it happens... holly fuck... my cam washing machine almost went out the door... shook the wholefucken house.. hahaha.. oh well hahah... yea so they are suposed to come over.. drink... and guess who hehehe... 3 ladies from c town.. and meeting another one.. lets see ... 4 -1 women to me :D... am i happy sure.. i love hangin out with ladies hehe.... so i made some jello shooters... they just better come over to help me drink em... er i mean slirp em .. haha... 27 shooters... and they are 1 1/2 shots each... might be interesting.. so that equals how many... 27 divided by 2 equals what... 13.5 plus 27 equals lets say 40 shots hahahaha.... interesting.... well that is the shot but not all alcohol.. half that again = 20 shots... but its gunna be fun... i made extreme green apple with vodka... and welll some strawberry with my dangerous 49% alcohol banana stuff ... that is gunna kill someone tonight HAHAHA...holy shit look at the numbers in here... hahahah..... im in a good mood.. already have 3/4 of a pint into me... and still all those fucken shooters... gawd... just hope the fuck there is a good band out tonight... heheh.... so i must go for now... 758... not bad for what 6 mins.. hahaha... ..
cheers
god bless and well have a happy night :D

cheers
Ry.. your friendly neighbourhood... drunk hahahha
OUT!!

Far Away
well what is with some songs lately.. they seam to tell a story... a story about alot of people lives... just want to share a brand new song.. just herd it this evening... and want to share it with certain people

Nickelbacks new one
Far Away



This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there’s just one left
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

One my knees, I’ll ask
Last chance for one last dance
‘Cause with you, I’d withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I’d give it all
I’d give for us
Give anything but I won’t give up
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
‘Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
‘Cause I’m not leaving
Hold on to me and
never let me go

ok i am back
so here i sit.. all fucken emotional about past bull shit :S... here is a song that is touchin me greatly at the moment :S.. linkin parks pushing me away.. read the lryics fucked up... makes a fucken guy wanna bawl... FUCK listen to me dammit... oh well read em.. think of em.. makes me think of every dam past relatinship...
cheers

"Pushing Me Away"

I've lied to you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you

(Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left
To watch it all unwind)
The sacrifice is never knowing

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away

I've tried like you
To do everything you wanted too
This is the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you

(Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left
To watch it all unwind)
The sacrifice is never knowing

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
(We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds)
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me pushes me away
Pushes me away




does it make sence
ry

Sitting here lost lonely and licenced
so here is another episode of my ranting unfortunately... had a long talk with my mother... dammit... she makes me think sometimes.. first time in so long i feel supported by my family.. they think i should head west and make some money... who knows what might be out there ... but i am plain out scared to leave.. i like the Isle... but hate the ways :S.. and the unknown for work.. money... bills shit... only thing i been lookin for the past 5 years was my love... but i guess that isn't gong to happen.. nor pay the bills but its my fault always lookin for the one :(... guess i need to look at my life differently... do i need to live or do i need to find love to live... what is it... guess i might look a bit harder about heading west... or somewhere... but what shal i do with my shit... store it sell it... take it.. wtf... i know one thing i am NOT going to rid of is my convertible.. that is my pride and joy.. ill die inthat... maybe that is how i will go... out in a blase of nothing but burnt rubber and bent metal one only knows.... i dont know what i want these days.. been like that for awhile now .... shit... i gota find something... i feel i need to wander.. if i hadn't 20grand in debt i would fucken run... drive hide do what ever... well that is my thoughts for today... some imput would be cool from anyone who knows me... hell those who dont... comment anyways... i gota run.... chow...
piece out
god bless
and cheers
Ry

what do i have"i want to be your childs new daddy"... on my fucken forehead
ok what the fuck is going on... can i meet one fucken girl that might even be remotely interested in me that dosent have kids or what... holy shit im sick and tired of it... is there any good single with out kids... women out there... anywhere.... im just plain tired of it... hard to find em... everytime i find one something fucked up happens... not interested... bla bla... to busy bla bla... then a month later they are with some other fella... like wtf is up with that...guess ill just have to carry on like always... play the game.. how fucken stupid it is... and i hate it... dammit.... and to anyone who reads this.. "I am ready to settle down"... just need to find someone to do it with.. and we gota get along... yes iam having fun.. and playin the field but who doesnt till they meet the one that takes their breath away... if it ever happens and lasts.... so less than 3 months till the fat bastard arrives.. oh yay... going to be another sad fucken x mas for me .... maybe ill leave for sure this year.. head south for a couple weeks if i can get there... who knows... rather be with strangers than home alone really hell rather just be away from the house.. even if its 15 mins away... cant handle another x mas here... and going west isnt that much better :S.. unfortunately...yes i am a bit down lately... things on my mind... and i am gettin tired of being alone... really sucks... dont even have many friends really any more... guess its time to hit the black top alone for awhile again... and no its not me feeling sorry for my self... its just me ranting on about my shit... so what will this weekend hold for me.. prob nothing much... dammit i need a vehicle to get away... need a good halifax drunk really really soon... dammit.. i miss j man... we need a good tear together... soon maybe just soon.. shuttle it if i have to..
so gota run
ry

man oh man last night was bad... im sorry
jeese i was really fucked up last night..... head was pounding today... and a tired man i was... didnt get much sleep...dreamed about things i would never have.. shit like that... so on that note i am going to try my fucken hardest to stop saying shit about her... i have one last thing i am going to do... and i am going to do it on my own... she will either hate it or love it or just cherrish it for the rest of her life... no idea when it will be done but it will get done is all i have to say to both of them.... so there.... and yea jen your right... i beat my self up.. but gawd .... i hate being home... no wheres to go... well actually the price of fucken gas kills me... somethings gota give... need roomates in a bad way... so yea... maybe this weekend i might have some fun.. we will see.... so here i go signing out for now... till i feel like ranting again..
cheers
Ry

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH MY HEAD
Mood:  irritated
what the fuck is up... last time this feeling came over me there was something up with her... WTF is this shit.. is this a sign for something god and i mean the one above... what is up..... last summer something came over me and it was around the time she had something happen... dammit i wish i could remember... but the discussion came up when we TALKED about everything in moncton... jeese... why am i wide awake.. fuck.. i so could just drive away right fucken now :(...what is it dammit.... grrrrrrrr 1 am and i am WIDE awake.... think think think.... what do i need.. what do i have to do to get her off my mind.... what is it.... i need something to occupy my mind.... fuck why can i just find something anything to get me away from all this shit.... i need stress about something else.... man on man am i ever fucked up right now............ jeese i hope the hell no one reads this shit.... just need to get some shit down... might just delete it all later....i dont even enjoy doing anything that i used to enjoy :S...... only thing that will make me happy or even did is to get off this dam island :S... is that a sign.. for me to leave.... if i only have 22grand in debt i prob would take the fuck off :S awwwww would this dam nightmare just stop :S...every dam time i close my eyes i see it.... red.....no in anger but in beauty.... i sit here looking at shit i own and i dont value anything i have nor see ..... i lost all interest in shit :S...how can u just sit there for hours looking at a person and know what they are thinking and feeling... and say... pffffft.... wrong one... i tell my self yea yea... her loss..... gdit.... how though... this is just one of those dam feelings that make ya think... wtf is wrong... she ok... am i ok... is someone hurt... is someone great... what is it....ok ........... must try and relax.... gota get some sleep... :S.... er well try...

look at me im a cat :(
well... so here it is.. i have this friend she takes care of me... only lets me in on info that she knows i wont get to sadened about :(... i herd something about a little furry friend that had to be sent off to a better place.... bless his soul... i miss that little crazy bastard... wish he made it threw it all... :(.... i just hope a certain little girl is doing ok about it... cause i know she loved him... as did i ... i miss them all... but on that note.. i really do hope everyone is well... things are looking up and falling into place... not taht i can say the same... but enough about that.. wish ya luck and maybe someday i can say hello again with out wanting to just yell and scream i love you.... but oh well... price to pay for fallin in love and losing the one i guess... so what is new with me...well was a board director for HFH but well.. guess plannin a 3 week schecual for a house just isnt in me.. to much stress and planning ... cant be done... so i had to leave... oh well.. i will just have to stick with the S Side comittee..... who know what will happen... might make a big move.. might not... i do have a few business ideas in my head right now.. just need to sort out the legal shit and see if i can get a ball rolling... that is all.... one never knows what might happen around the corner or behind that door.... one can only wish that happiness is there or maybe a true love.. one can only hope that someday that door will open on its own with no effort.... to great pleasure to have somone standing there.... e gad do i ever ramble....well imust go.. time to sleep... get up and work on the mansion... but do have to say.. i am finally gettin a bit of respect from a boss finally... only took 9 years.. so to everyone who might stumble across my little ranting and roaring...
God bless
and good nite
Cheers
Ry

look at me im a cat :(
well... so i have this friend.. she takes care of me... checks things out and only tells me stuff that wont hurt me to bad... i got some info that a little furry friend had to be put asleep :(.... the little crazy bastard... i loved him...talk about a kick in the stomache when i herd that i dont mean to cause shit with this... its just a thing to get shit out :S... suposed i could write it in a book but fuck it.. easier to put here go back and read later if i feel i can.... so yea herd other things.. best of luck with that... really i do ... just saddened things didnt work out.... so my job is going crazy i been doing some awfully strange things stone siding.. installing garage doors... making up pens for horses... but oh yea... the guy we are building the house for is an awsome fella... prob might take him up on trailrides sometime :).. might be fun.. if i can handle the sneezing...but that is the price to pay... so what i been up to.. hung out with Dave and Heather and their friend Cheryl... had a blast last weekend.. dranks lots and watched dave do the old black rum dance hahaha... funny as fuck.... what else... humm... got some pics backk tried to post them on the picture site but to much space was taken.. so gota post them on the other one some day... soon.... well i gota run... maybe go get a movie sit home alone :(... and watch it... bla bla.. what a boring life i lead...
Cheers
God Bless
and good nite
Ry