6:45 am December 25
well its that time of year again.... wishing i was back home really but nope i am just sitting here alone in this apt... but going to head over to jeff and traceys soon hopefully they will be done of their stuff...i really dont enjoy this time of year.... i did 2 years ago.... waiting for a certain little one to get up... it was so dam nice to have that.... one thing i wish i did have right now.... been thinking about all those past things like crazy lately.. no idea why but ihave :(.... i miss them both like mad.... wish there was something i could do.... yea yea everyone that is going to read this is going to say get over her it time to move on bla bla bla.. yea yea i tell my self that... its hard to when u meet someone and can be your total self and they totally understand u ... very strange feeling but the best feeling non the less... well enough about that.. if that certaing 2 people happen to come across this.. i do wish ya a merry x mas and the 2 that we had together will always be in my heart..... and to anyone else that i know ...it is hard for me to think positive when i am far from home and want to be there but merry x mas to all u that i love also.. u all know who u are.... well i should go lay down again for a bit then head over to the cuz's and finish this day off there and try and make it threw the rest of this time of year....
god bless
cheers
and Merry Xmas from the big city
Ry

just a drop in the bucket
Mood:  sad
so it has been almost 3 weeks now .... am i am not liking it here what so ever... i need a vehicle of somesort... so what have i been up to... let see... NOTHING much really... seen theory of a dead man last monday... and last night sat night we went out to the trap and gill... wow.. sounded like fun.... NOT.... so i drank a bunch .. then we got a cab down.. great im out in the city... starting to like it.. then trac and jeff wanted to leave... booooo.... so i desided to stay and hitch a ride with toby... great... get to hang out longer... then she goes for a smoke... 2 am comes... wheres toby.... lovely... talked to her BF... and she left... NICEEEEE..... then i asked if i could hitch a rid with him.... ok... then all 6 of us head to the car... A FUCKEN ECHO... nice... so i turned around and started to head into the night of the city.... i felt just as small as a drop in a bucket.... wasent really scared... just sorta told my self... FUCK IT ALL... i walked and walked tried to find a cab... nothing... what a fucken city.. no gd cabs around.. then i found a cop.. asked him.. so he pointed me in the direction... and asked him for a location of ahotel.. i was going to cause at 330 i was starting to freeze my ass off.... lovely... so i started to walk.. to where i had no fucken clue.... just keeping my head up and being aware of what is around me.. then i see someone... fucken rob.. one of the guys on the crew that i met at the dinner.. and his bro was there ken... so i talked to them.. and awsome enough ken let me crash on his couch then rob gave me adrive up close to where i am staying... gota love newfies.... there are actually people around that will help... bout the only gd thing that went good for me... then i came back home(er place to stay)... as my home is in PEI i know that now... and walked in.. no one even fucken asked where i was what happened.. i could have been fucken killed for fuck sakes... alone in the gd city... NICE... so i am gettin pretty fucken discuraged of this whole adventure.. i need a car or something... i gota be able to just get out... soon..... or i am heading home filing bankruptcy and live like a poor man......i am finding it hard finding things to do... all i do is think.. not fucken good for me.... i think bout everything and everyone lately.... i know what i want.... but i know i cant have that........ i dont think ill ever have that really... :S... sad but true.... so its 430 and i am about ready to just go to bed... funny for me eh... i never sleep in the afternoon :(.... but what do u do when u have no life what so ever.... try and no go crazy i guess.... well i am going for now... to do what i dont know..... but for anyone who reads this.. imiss everyone... and wish iwas back on ole PEI ... even though it is boring at least i do have a few good friends back there and some family that gives a fuck.... so how am i doing.. not good.. just so people know... next 2 weeks is going to be the hardest for me in my life unless something changes drastically....
well gota run
cheers
Ry

2 weeks away from home
Mood:  not sure
so where do i begin... been 2 weeks that i have been in Edmonton now.. interesting.. very emotional at times for me... missing everyong back home... time change makes it hard to talk to people and stuff... and the fact that everyone is so dam far away is hard... but i am determined to stick it out for a bit... so what i been up to.. ok been to the west ed mall a few times... roamed around a few other malls... been using the transit.. not to far but far enough might do a city tour someday if ican find a companion to come along for company... and went to a concert last night Theory Of A Dead man played.. they fucken rocked.. plus i have a bunch to drink... as usual hahah.. good times had by all... Hurst opened up for them.. they are pretty darn good.... what other concerts am i going to hit... who knows.. nickelback is commin up in Jan 22 that is GOING TO FUCKEN ROCK.. cant wait for that one.. but gunna try and hit some other bands before hand if i can... so that is pretty much it... just working.. roaming around a bit sometimes.. nothing to special.... and the count down begins for x mas oh joy oh bliss... still not going to be the same as it was 2 years ago... but what can ya do eh.. but cherrish the memories... this weekend we are heading out to the trap and gill this is going to be my really big druk in edmonton i can just feel it... hehe.. newfie bar check it out if u can... also anyone who checks this out...
The Bear its the local radion station and its funny as fuck.. there is alink in there where u can listen to it live where ever u are.. to funny... any who i gota run find something to do.. fun fun :S....
good nite
good morning
god bless
cheers
Ry

tgif but why really :(
Mood:  hug me
so here i sit... friday morning its 530 my time... and i no gd plans at all for the weekend... no vehicle :(... only have the bus... which stops running at like 12... so no gd use going anywhere really.... and i been dealing with this problem of having certain people on my mind... no idea why... but its there... was doing so good for the past few months but now.. something is triggering it... why .... wish something could answer me this... :S... on another not.. its pay day today not really sure what i will be making.. but if its not what we discussed guess i might belookin for another job.. lovely eh... the job isnt to bad... rough work.. mg things are thrown together... good fellas i work with that.. that is a bonus... so we will hvae to see... but i know i gota get out and meet some people so i can actually get out of the city and see stuff... i just wish i wasent doing this alone... and only one certain person knows who they are... i miss everyone like mad back home really.. my folks.. neice and nephew... my bro... really didnt think i would that much but i guess its sorta sinking in that i am 5000 kms away :S....guess ill have to just deal with it and find the strength to move on some how.... so i should go and finish gettin ready for work.. and for anyone who reads this that i care about.. iam not avoiding anyone at all... just no phone plan but i am working on it so i can contact the people i love more.... miss ya much cuz'z and i hope to talk to ya soon :)
good morning
good nite
god bless
cheers
Ry

small town guy blinded by the big city lights
Mood:  not sure
ok what have i been up to... let see... well no idea what i wrote last.. and nor am i going back to read it... this is what i do... carry on forward...things come up in from the past but mostly the past just hurts... when i get on my feet again ill face those things then if they are still there... anywho... what have i been up to... well now...the flight... interesting.. but first... never seen mom and dad ever that sad to see me leave... was figuring they wold be happy :P.. get me outa their hair... but anyways... yea the flight i was nervous as hell... taking off was pretty cool though... after that it was gravy... 2 hour flight felt like 15 mins.. didnt even get settle in then we were landing... then off the plane.. ran into a few guys i new... lole a plumber i know.. and blair... guy from the valley ... and a couple others... so we all hung out in big TO air port.. fucken huge i say... so loles bro passed away he was headin to Van to settle some stuff... sorry to hear that... and the other 3 guys from s side area.. were heading to fort mac.. nothing lined up but they done it before just go and find something when they get there... they can have that.. ya so our 4.5 hour wait turned into a 6 hour wait.. fun fun.. with nothing to do unless u go thre security... NOPE... then we were off to edm... landed and found out from blair he lost his wallet... but then called and someone turned it in... that is awsome... lucky fella... so met up with jeff my cuz.. and he was kind enough to run the guys to the bus stop so they could catch it and head another 5 hours north to fort mac.. oh joy.. but that is where thye were heading... then we were off to jeffs... got in around 1230... that would be 330 pei time haha.. and i was sorta wound but tired... then i crashed... so wed jef and trac were working so i farted aroun done dishes and then went for a walk... yea me walk... something new... haha.. found a coffee shopo... a rona building supply store... and other things.. not bad 20 min walk or so... so then thrus trac was off work.. we toured around a bit.. hit the west ed mall.. huge.. but didnt see much... there we met up with toby tracs sis and alicia... a cutie friend of theirs... we had dinner and carried on .. oh yea met olvia... alicias daughter.. cute 9 month old :).... so then we wer eoff... found a carhart store.. my new fav store haha...and already got 15 % off cloths and stuff haha.. me and my bartering eh....what else... ate out thrus night.. didnt do much... hung out.. done a few things for jeff... while he work but that is it... so friday... what id o.... hung out.. went for adrive with tracey nothing much... then we found out alica bought a new rig .. nice... i forget what it is... then she invited me over to her place to hang out... she wants me hahahah... nice to get out.. so i was going to drive her old rig to her folks and she drive th new one.. but time was ticking and olivia was gettin fussy so we just jumped in the folks car and headed so we got to her place.. her folks actually .. nice house.. out in St Albert... quiet.. which is nice.. alot like home... rough roads and lots of space lol... so we got there around 9... sorta late.. had taken our food with us we got at tracey and jeff... from Red Robin... dunno.. it was just fair really what i got anyways... so i met her folks.. really nice :)... then they went to bed... we just sat up talked for awhile.. then she is like... wanna get in the hot tub.. it was well.. something around -15 out side.. no wind.. which is stange from home where its always windy.. oh well... so sometime around 12 she came out.. said im gettin in.. go get ready hahah.. so we did... ws nice... relaxing... hot as hell... and cold as fuck when u get out.. had icicles on my head lol.. to funny.. oh well... we talked bout stuff... then got out.. ran into the house and changed... talked a bit..then she headed to bed.. and i crashed on the i might add the comphy couch :)... woke up.. their furnace wasent heatin the upstairs... so i went and investigated it with robert.... alcias dad..found out it was just the zone valve... eazy fix i think he wsa impressed i had found out the prob in like less than 5 mins... :P.. hahah... so we talked a bit.. he own a fishin lodge up north... can only get to it by plane i guess.. love to get up there... be fun... away from EVERYTHING.... but anywho... so yea chatted to her folks... her mom made me breakfast.. prob cause i got her heat going again haha....so sat didnt do much... alicia drove me home...... and then i hung out at j&t's.... dont nothing then i was bored... sat with nothing to do.. in a fucken city :S.. go figure eh.. so i go for a walk.. hit CND tire...few other places it was nice... gone for about 4 hours... but what else was i going to do right...then came back here.. sat around totally bored last night... oh well... now its sunday.. need to pick up a few things with what money i dont know... but figure that out .... and need to figure out the bus schedual.. fun fun... i hate public transit... i need a rig.... soon i hope... so yea i must go now.. shower up and figure out what is giong on for today.. maybe ican get out and wander around the city or a mall... relax in public or something... dunno... so there everyone is up to date... sorry for being so late..
cheers
good day
and good nite
god bless
Ry

hi its me again
Mood:  party time!
just want to say i am going to go shower now and head out.. bye bye hahahaha

3 days left and that makes what... 72 hours hahaha vroom vrooom crash bang boooooooom... hahaha
its the end of the world and i know it hahahahaha...... ummm what to say.. I'm 58% drunk.... 78 % tired.... and 100% full of shit... haha.. anywho... i sitting here chatting to Krista bout HFH shit... and there is a load of shit going on with that to.... she knows it i know it.. but oh well.... someone will figure it out... hummm what to say.. was out up west last night.. was a pretty fun night till when i fell asleep in the car.. brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..... oh well.. Good time had by all.... and i know how to make shine now HAHAHAHA.... so yea sat night.. my last sat night in summerside to get drunk what will happen tonight... one only knows.. i sure as fuck dont haha... so Krista keeps buggin me saying your not excited why the hell not.. quote"you should be".... hahaha... but i haven't flown.. nor been off this dam island to live... so will be interesting... anywho... i gotta go shower now... clean up and get ready to head out and drink massive amounts of BOOOOOOOZE..... hehe.....
cheers
Ry

4 days or 96 hours
Mood:  party time!
so here i sit... 555 what does a guy do.... well..... DRINK.... so tonight i heading up west to party with a great bunch of people i met :)... ill miss them much.... then tomorrow its family time.. hang out with the cuz and get sloshed.... 2 days in a row.. uggg.. can i handle it... so yea... my last few nights on PEI for a bit... ask me how long.. i dont know is the answer... ask me for what reason.. i say bill.. but also to find my self... ask me if i want to go.... NO... but its something i have to do... ask me if i am excited.. not really.... refer to last question why.... ask me if ill miss PEI... YES... met a shit load of great people i will miss so dam much i cant even explain it :S.. first time in awhile i met some great people that took the time to know me.. but still i must go..... we will see what the next 6 months bring me... happiness i hope.. maybe love.. maybe life... one only knows... so i must sign out so i can get west to drink... bye bye all... ill post tomorrow prob... and keep checking back for update...
cheers
god bless
and good nite
Ry

dam another nickelback song that is awsome
jeese people out there ya just have to go and pick up the new nickelback cd its awsome




Savin' Me
Lyrics - All The Right Reasons :.


Prison gates won’t open up for me
On these hands and knees I’m crawlin’
Oh, I reach for you
Well I’m terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can’t hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I’m callin’
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I’m fallin’

Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth saving me

Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me
With these broken wings I’m fallin’
And all I see is you
These city walls ain’t got no love for me
I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I’m callin’
And all I need from you
Hurry I’m fallin’

Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth saving me

Hurry I’m fallin’

9 days and counting
so I'm into the single digits not to much longer and ill be on a plane outa here... not excited yet though.. unfortunately... but i will deal.. just as i have dealt with alot of other crap around me.... its a big step for me.. hopefully i'll make it threw... or maybe i wont no one knows...have to try and find out who i really am.... small town fella in a big city life...going to be interesting.... but all i know is i gota do this for me... cant let anyone else bring me down from it.... i gota find my self.. find out what i want... where i want to be.... here there anywhere... what is my destiny in life... maybe its to wander the world.. maybe just this country... maybe this island... i will not know... might not know with this big step... all i know is i gota do it... i will miss everyone i have met in the past 8 months and beyond or so.. and they will all be in my heart where ever i go...i love them all.... nice to have friends who support me
cheers
god bless
Ry