sunday aahhhhhhhhhh
Mood:  a-ok
so the end of another week weekend.. bla bla.... what have i been up to lets see... hummm work 730 - 5 at my job... then leave go to the habitat house from 6 - 9 every day.... im starting to burn out.... work sat at the house... e gad.. dont know how i am still standing... so that is that....ugg... this weekend was pretty fun.... headed out to the college of piping again like last year... was pretty darn fun... met up with rowan and liz.. rocked heritage for a bit.... then roamed around to the hotel and s side a bit.... great times great friends and even greater drinks hahaha... still really sick of this shit... doing stuff alone or trying to find things to do.... nice to have someone to just call up and say hey wanna go do something... and really enjoy their company.... hard to say but that is something hard to do and find... :(.... on a different note... habitat house is half way threw its 2 week build.. i think we will have time.... oh yea forgot.. got the dam piece of shit bay truck back finally.... 450 later... grrrrrrr..... ok i need a roomate anyone interested still... let me know..... or hell wanna get married HAHAHA.... fuck i wonder how much i going to say that this summer :P... already proposed to one girl... lol... well just to keep her in the country :P... but i would do something like that for a friend :) and got an invite to NZ but will i ever get 2500$ to even fricken make it there :S... really cant see it.... but one never knows..... so i must scram now... find something to do... bla bla bla same ole shit on a sunday... i hate em alone.... here i go....... ps oh yea to a certain someone if ya ever read my shit... i miss ya like mad still :(.... and wish it was different... maybe the twisted roads we take on our seperate journys will make us reunite again.....
cheers
Ry... junior.... uncle Ryan....what ever ya wanna call me haha

one sees everything one wants... but feelings are never for sale
9:51 another day over and another work week begins shortly.... dont want to blab to much....didnt do to much today.... went for a bit of a drive to Cavy.. nothing interesting.... oh yea got a break... pulled over and got warning... nice.... cranky female cop but no ticket.... what else... friggen truck gettin sick of jumping the starter wires to start it .... not fun.... ate out today.. been awhile since i did that.. chinese food... "sigh".... to bad someone didnt come with me..... aw well... typical day....visited the cuz'z a bit... drove around.... came home.... fell asleep at 8... yikes... now i prob wont sleep tonight....work this week...then volunteer on the house when ever i can yikes....i'll do what i can i guess... one foot in front of the other is that how it goes.... maybe ill get tripped and be lucky enough to fall in love again.. cause i gota tell ya that is the bestest feeling a person can have "sigh".... maybe just maybe someday... it will happen again.... so i should sign off and find something do to :S.... later gators
9:57
Ry

happy fathers day... yay....
Mood:  down
so its fathers day... good for fathers bad for guys who like to be a father :(.... nice to have little ones around .... man am i ever lookin like a tard.... for anyone who reads this... its just somewheres to rant and rave on... rather do it this way then to bitch to everyone i know.... oh that note... sundays suck when your single.... days like this just makes me wanna cuddle up and watch tv or a good movie or head out to the fleamarkets.... how exciting but that is all i want :S..... guess ill just go for a drive... get somthing to eat... and be bored :S..... still a bit wore down from yesturday... still pretty hyped up over that whole thing... its going awsome... hopefully the rest will go that smoothly... this week is going to be somewhat busy... work full time.. volunteer part time... no life i say... at least it keeps my mind working even if its on overdrive... so might actually have my truck back this week as long as the prob we think it is... it is.... 400$ later... grr.... bills... oh quick question.. anyone want to move in... i need some help... and well i live in a 3 bedroom house my self... i have room :).... and nice to have someone around to.... just send a comment or e mail me if ya know me...
well gota get going... lazing around just causes thoughts of past memories... something i really dont need to think about :(....
cheers
Ry

WOW!! that is all i can say about today
Mood:  incredulous
man oh man today was wicked... i feel like superman hehe.... can u believe we framed a house sheethed it and tyveked it... put up truss's and sheathed the roof in less than 12 hours... also framed 98% of the interior walls inside of it... and this is like a 1200 sqr house :).. man.... i was a wanted man... i never worked so hard or was incontrol of so many people in my life :).. i love it.... its a great feeling to do this for someone.. and to help soooooo many people to learn something of this sort wish i could do it as a full time job:).... so its sat evening and what to do :(... i have not much of a life.. work eat sleep volunteer :P... still no gf... might be a good thing after the crap i went threw last time :(.... maybe ill just wander.... might be a good idea :P...
but anyways.... should run and have a few drinks for the evening :P
cheers
signing off... with adrenalin pumping and mind racing and wound up solid.. :)
happy camping...
Ry

wet wet wet thurs
isnt it lovely out.. thunder and lighting... wow what a pile of rain... :S... not good... prob a flooded basement.... and days like this makes me think of someone.... weird eh.... bad days makes ya think worse ..... oh well..... so tomorrow it all begins.... i just hope i can make it threw the next 2 weeks so i am signing off for now...
feeling down and empty :(...
Ry

You And Me
What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
Nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't why I can't keep my eyes off you

Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of

You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do nothin to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive

hump day again or is it middle of the road day... oh yea right
so its wednesday again.. 40 feet in the air hangin on to a rafter fun fun so that has been puttin my thoughts on hold somewhat... but they stil linger waiting to poke out its friggen head.... heat... working up west.... trying to get a truck on the road... it never ends... will something break soon... somethings gota give.... win lottery.... fall in love... meet someone special... meet some new friends... what shall it be hope something soon.... so been offered this volunteer job position threw habitat for humanity what shall i do.... sounds interesting butnot sure... never really been on a comittee or anything like that... but its for a good cause.. and meet some great people threw it... and to think its a christian based organization... one never knows.... might bring me into that big house with all the candles someday :P....with the high pointy roof lol....one never knows... my life might take a drastic change for the good...what else is new hummm....gettin tired as its gettin late for me 5 am comes quick... blaaaaaaa.... clinton here i cam yay... :s.... so build starts this sat... that is going to be interesting.. as i mentioned before.. buts its so exciting :)...... mario is hounding me i guess we are going to rule the roost on the build lol...or litle does he know ill push him off the roof HAHAHA... or nail him to the wall upside down lol..... plans for upcomming event.... NONE.... well... build a house in 10 days... that is exciting lol... but well social life... null and void... no gf.. no life... just work eat sleep volunteer lol...hell what does the clubs look like in s side been awhile....oh yea right i avoid them... wonder why :S.....so here i am signing off to another fun filled day.... heading to bed alone... "sigh".... i hate that feeling.. rather stay up all night than to go to bed alone :(....
chow...
peace out.....
god bless....
Ry

first day of the week uggg.. its the hardest
well its monday again.... and not the greatest day so far... wet and shit... lovely.... will there be work not quite sure... so weekend wasent nothing to exciting... got away from town that was cool i guess.... seen a couple of friends i havent seen in awhile... and their new addition... and they are having another one... that is awsome... gawd everyone is having babys... making me jelous :(...oh well...so i keep meeting people... but nothing compares to one certain one i met years go.... i was searching and searching... and new just from a picture what she was from me.....i will never meet anyone who compares well that is how i am feeing right now... gawd this feeling is eating me up completely... makes me loose my mind somedays :(....no one will ever understand it i dont think and well i dont expect anyone to.....ok lets get off this topic....my agenda.... meeting toninght... work tomoorrw night.. meeting wed... free thurs and fri is the kick off for habitat... will be interesting... and then buddy had a thingy going on cause he is gettin married...and then the big build on sat... fun fun.....2 weeks eh heh....i think it will work.... so its 6 am and i should scram.. get ready for another slugging day on a roof.... fun fun... NOT.... well just havta say your in my thoughts every day... just wish they would go away... or if something good will happen cause of it...so siging off... still confused about others... but still walking the line.
Ry

i have this hole in my heart and i know what will fill it :(
so another weekend... wow... fri sucked... :(.... gawd.... is this feeling i been having torture for something i did in another life or something ... man.... i have never felt this way before... even this time last year :(.... i cant get past it.... all i know is i miss someone like fricken mad... and well... as anyone would say i would do anything .... i mean ANYTHING :S... unfortunately none of this makes a fucken difference cause well really i have no idea why :S... wasent really left with an answer... just left.... this is worse than before... i just cant walk with out stumbling thinking of her or seeing her or anything else.... why oh why ... why cant it be easier on the one who is left than the one who leaves just isnt right really :(... and for it to happen a second time around... and happen online... wow.... :(.... guess i am just stupid as she said.... cause i cant think of anything to say i hate that bitch..... i HATE what she did..... but cant hate her... but still prob never be able to face her :S......grrrrrrrrr... well i must try and carry on... even though there is something missing :(.....
chow

When I first saw you...
I was afraid to meet you...
When I first met you...
I was afraid to kiss you...
When I first kissed you...
I was afraid to love you...
But now that I love you...
I'm afraid to loose you...

So much for that quote eh :S..... well sat morning... last night was a bore... didnt do a dam thing... oh yea one... got the motor in the convertable... one good thing happened this month :S.... and now i have to head west to do up a job so i can get the dam bay truck on the road.... well imust run so i can get it done
Chow
Ry