WOW.. what a weekend.... where is my heart gone where is my life going
Mood:  hug me
wow... is all i can say... where do i begin....quick note... i gave up reading others horse shit and lies ... gets me totally no where... and nothing but more hurt...i need to stop fooling my self to think that miricales do happen in my love life...ok back to the weekend..... thrus... awsome... was out with a couple GREAT lovely young ladies i met from the USA.... had a fricken blast.... company came over fri... stuck around till sunday.. that was awsome to :).... sat night.. hummm lets see.... well.... hung out in s side a bit.. checked out on the house for the last day.... then off to c town.. cockroach motel.... drank a bunch.. met lots in the hotel.... headed to the concert... then issues arised...i am gettin really sick and tired of the fakeness some people can be... burry the hatchet... how about u kiss my ass... guess there is a reason i walked away from that shit the first time.... so i wasent all that drunk sat... but it was fine.. i got over the glance i had threw the crowd.... my heart had a smile but my head had a frown... but nothing else is new with that shit eh....company tried to get me over it but there was nothing anyone could do... they are thoughts that flow threw my head and something i need to "try" and deal with... oh yes i did see u .... and well... nothing more i wanted to do is be there with you as the words to the song rang out in my head

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me


i couldnt have screams in my skull any louder for you .... nor could i explain how i felt... only you know how i feel.. only you know what i am trying to say...only you is who alot of this is meant for....but what is a fella to do ...all i can do is try and walk on... my life dosent get much easier... just when things are in totally happyness bliss... she leaves.... sunday evening was awsome... hung out with someone that was soooo unbelieveable.... sat down on the shore at North Cape... and just talked.... about life.... it was sooo nice.... everything was just feeling as if it had stoped in time and things were falling into where they should... then as everything good thing that happens to me... she is leavin today... hopefully not cause i would love to spend one more evening with her... talking.... one will never know...as my names goes... where is my heart gone where is my life going... it means lots of stuff.... every person i meet unknowningly they take a piece of me with them.. as i cherrish everyone i meet thurs evening was one... sat was another and sunday was a big part of me ... the tourture continues in my heart...thing game is not fun nore is it easy to play... but i "think" i am strong to play till the end... or untill someone wins over me and the game has stopped for the last time for that moment in my life...lord only knows... and one can only pray...so on that note I should carry on to my job.. make my money... continue with my life and hope that the things that are suposed to happen in my life fall into place really soon...
god bless
cheers
Ry

I am threw with the lies
so its sat again..... 2 weeks been since the habitat build was started... :).... how cool.. and i think we actually got it finished... have to go check on mario to see today for a bit..... dedication tomorrow cant wait.. going to be a tear jerker :P.... so relized that no matter what some people say to u ... most of it is just lies... bla bla bla... not much wonder i am at a place in my life where i am... i cant be fake... i dont do things just to make others like me... if u know me u knwo me well... and not much else matter.... but as for liars and people who are fake... well.... not much i can do i guess...i am threw with your lies and bull shit towards me :S..... on a different note... been a pretty darn good weekend... on yea apparently lifehouse did play you and me... prob a good thing i didnt hear it... was in the can i think or just acting up as usual...had fun ... danced with the american girls... hope they come visit soon... they were awsome... or even better yet they put up with me in their home town for a weekend :)....one never knows... tonight what is on the ajenda.... hummm dawn is here... we going down to c town to party hardy... colleen and steve might be comming along.. and anyone else who might want to join in....we are at the cockroach motel lol... if u know my cell call and i will explain so its 10 47 and i feel a bit sick... gd colds... come at the worst time... dammit... but oh well i am going to carry on.... like i always do and always said... healthy...food... roof.... not going to let that cold get me down... cause ya never know when ya might end up dead...the way i look at it... time is NOT on my side.... turning 29 soon and not gettin any younger.... so... i gota stop this shit... blabing on about nothing HAHAA...so i am going to sign off for now... find something do eat... go check out on the house and carry on....
cheers and god bless
good day good evening and good nite..
piece out
Ry

Happy Canada Day
Mood:  happy
so its july first.... what is in store for this month ok lets recap... been workin like mad on the habitat house... but its pretty well done.. heading in soon to do a bit... but not much after the night i had..... went and see LIFEHOUSE.... awsome... but very dissapointed they never played their recient hit You And ME.... aw well.... so on that note... funny how certain song can tug at a person heart no matter the situation.... i went to the concert to see some good performers and friends plus in the back of my mind to see if the "powers to be" are going to do anything for my life... cause i know there was ONE person in that crowd that knows what those songs mean to both of us... i felt it but cant say how the other felt... time will tell.. either heal all or take a turn for the better one never knows really.... so right now at this moment i been runnin on like 2 hours sleep... lots of drinking.. and dancing and partying with new found friends.... God Bless America :D.... man you just never know who ya will meet anywhere.... opertunities is what i call it... something is going to take a big change in my life soon i can just feel it... dont know what dont know how... or when just feel it all a person can do is hope for the best.... so if anyone is reading this i will be posting some new pics shortly from my recient adventures they will be explained in the main page of my site :).. check em out....so back to this weekend.. what is in store now... well i seen off my new friend... and well one is still around for another week.... have a visitor commin over today... 1040 to be exact.. .hanging out have some drinks on sat.. its going to be fun.. lots of dancing and stuff... cant wait... i sooooo need this in my life... friends might do the tourist thing today since she never been on the Isle before... we will see... oh yea the dedication is on sunday that is going to be cool... :)... i cant wait.. but then again i am going to miss this project like crazy... its sooo much fun :).. great people doing an awsome thing for a great family :).... but on that note i must run and go install some door knobs LOL.... cheers and god bless to everyone :).. and happy canada day :)
Ry.... aka junior

imcomplete :S story of my life :S
just a few lines of a well known song... story of my life lately :S....



Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

sunday aahhhhhhhhhh
Mood:  a-ok
so the end of another week weekend.. bla bla.... what have i been up to lets see... hummm work 730 - 5 at my job... then leave go to the habitat house from 6 - 9 every day.... im starting to burn out.... work sat at the house... e gad.. dont know how i am still standing... so that is that....ugg... this weekend was pretty fun.... headed out to the college of piping again like last year... was pretty darn fun... met up with rowan and liz.. rocked heritage for a bit.... then roamed around to the hotel and s side a bit.... great times great friends and even greater drinks hahaha... still really sick of this shit... doing stuff alone or trying to find things to do.... nice to have someone to just call up and say hey wanna go do something... and really enjoy their company.... hard to say but that is something hard to do and find... :(.... on a different note... habitat house is half way threw its 2 week build.. i think we will have time.... oh yea forgot.. got the dam piece of shit bay truck back finally.... 450 later... grrrrrrr..... ok i need a roomate anyone interested still... let me know..... or hell wanna get married HAHAHA.... fuck i wonder how much i going to say that this summer :P... already proposed to one girl... lol... well just to keep her in the country :P... but i would do something like that for a friend :) and got an invite to NZ but will i ever get 2500$ to even fricken make it there :S... really cant see it.... but one never knows..... so i must scram now... find something to do... bla bla bla same ole shit on a sunday... i hate em alone.... here i go....... ps oh yea to a certain someone if ya ever read my shit... i miss ya like mad still :(.... and wish it was different... maybe the twisted roads we take on our seperate journys will make us reunite again.....
cheers
Ry... junior.... uncle Ryan....what ever ya wanna call me haha

one sees everything one wants... but feelings are never for sale
9:51 another day over and another work week begins shortly.... dont want to blab to much....didnt do to much today.... went for a bit of a drive to Cavy.. nothing interesting.... oh yea got a break... pulled over and got warning... nice.... cranky female cop but no ticket.... what else... friggen truck gettin sick of jumping the starter wires to start it .... not fun.... ate out today.. been awhile since i did that.. chinese food... "sigh".... to bad someone didnt come with me..... aw well... typical day....visited the cuz'z a bit... drove around.... came home.... fell asleep at 8... yikes... now i prob wont sleep tonight....work this week...then volunteer on the house when ever i can yikes....i'll do what i can i guess... one foot in front of the other is that how it goes.... maybe ill get tripped and be lucky enough to fall in love again.. cause i gota tell ya that is the bestest feeling a person can have "sigh".... maybe just maybe someday... it will happen again.... so i should sign off and find something do to :S.... later gators
9:57
Ry

happy fathers day... yay....
Mood:  down
so its fathers day... good for fathers bad for guys who like to be a father :(.... nice to have little ones around .... man am i ever lookin like a tard.... for anyone who reads this... its just somewheres to rant and rave on... rather do it this way then to bitch to everyone i know.... oh that note... sundays suck when your single.... days like this just makes me wanna cuddle up and watch tv or a good movie or head out to the fleamarkets.... how exciting but that is all i want :S..... guess ill just go for a drive... get somthing to eat... and be bored :S..... still a bit wore down from yesturday... still pretty hyped up over that whole thing... its going awsome... hopefully the rest will go that smoothly... this week is going to be somewhat busy... work full time.. volunteer part time... no life i say... at least it keeps my mind working even if its on overdrive... so might actually have my truck back this week as long as the prob we think it is... it is.... 400$ later... grr.... bills... oh quick question.. anyone want to move in... i need some help... and well i live in a 3 bedroom house my self... i have room :).... and nice to have someone around to.... just send a comment or e mail me if ya know me...
well gota get going... lazing around just causes thoughts of past memories... something i really dont need to think about :(....
cheers
Ry

WOW!! that is all i can say about today
Mood:  incredulous
man oh man today was wicked... i feel like superman hehe.... can u believe we framed a house sheethed it and tyveked it... put up truss's and sheathed the roof in less than 12 hours... also framed 98% of the interior walls inside of it... and this is like a 1200 sqr house :).. man.... i was a wanted man... i never worked so hard or was incontrol of so many people in my life :).. i love it.... its a great feeling to do this for someone.. and to help soooooo many people to learn something of this sort wish i could do it as a full time job:).... so its sat evening and what to do :(... i have not much of a life.. work eat sleep volunteer :P... still no gf... might be a good thing after the crap i went threw last time :(.... maybe ill just wander.... might be a good idea :P...
but anyways.... should run and have a few drinks for the evening :P
cheers
signing off... with adrenalin pumping and mind racing and wound up solid.. :)
happy camping...
Ry

wet wet wet thurs
isnt it lovely out.. thunder and lighting... wow what a pile of rain... :S... not good... prob a flooded basement.... and days like this makes me think of someone.... weird eh.... bad days makes ya think worse ..... oh well..... so tomorrow it all begins.... i just hope i can make it threw the next 2 weeks so i am signing off for now...
feeling down and empty :(...
Ry

You And Me
What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
Nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't why I can't keep my eyes off you

Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of

You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do nothin to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive