. Author’s Note: I always wanted a soap opera style fic, where the relationships change constantly. Anyway it’s sort of based on some life experiences from when I was in high school and had my own Dawson, Pacey, Jack and Jen, in fact some of the PJ banter comes from some banter I shared with a friend of mine. It takes place in multiple points of views so between every break I’ll label the narrator. Summary: The beginning of junior year, this picks up after season 2. Some plots and season 3 story lines from the actual show will be used but only briefly and altered. Example: Andie still cheated on Pacey and Dawson is still being seduced by Eve.. Warning: Contains sexual content. Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15

Joey 

The first snow dusts over Capeside and I have this strange urge to pull out a sketch pad and draw. Ever since this early graduation idea has been presented to me I’ve been going through all of my options. Although becoming a world renowned artist has its perks, I’m still just a kid trying to find her place in the world. 

I pull on my snow boots sloughing through the thick soupy snow and dusting off a lawn chair looking back at my model. I love the first snow fall of the season, the way the powdery white snow is always so shimmering and pure. The way the ice freezes around the tree branches offering a glimmering jewel. The mounds of snow stick to the roof of my house like the icing of a gingerbread house and everything is just so beautiful. 

Of course by the third snowfall my arms ache from shoveling the driveway, my socks are cold and soggy from plowing through the drifts, and the sand that has consumed the roadways has blended with the snow and dirt causing an atrocious site. But that first snowfall of the season makes it all worth it. 

I begin sketching it every curve and detail of my house in the winter wonderland, but it’s just a drawing and nothing more. Sure it’s fun to sketch sometimes but I don’t want to spend my whole life doing it. I want to find my life’s passion and it hasn’t appeared yet and I don’t see the point into rushing into anything. 

I’d like to say that Pacey isn’t a factor in my decision, that this is all purely based on me and what I want. But he was on my mind as I was thinking about it, how could he not be? When a relationship is so new and fresh you’d like to consider being with that person forever, that nothing in the world could break you apart. Not a stupid scholarship. 

I set my sketch pad down heading down the road, I don’t want to be thinking of all this, I want to be with him. 

~*~ 

Pacey 

Lying on my bed staring at my stealing I’m left with nothing but haunting thoughts that rush through my head. I had these same insecurities with Andie, the fact that she was so much smarter then me and all but we were still so young and we had so much time left to figure things out. But with Joey I’ve already run out of time. I knew I would hold her back eventually but by that point I felt we would be comfortable enough in our relationship to grow past that. Hell I’m not even sure she loves me, I’d like to think so but I don’t even know. 

“But I don’t want to leave you Pacey.” 

I frown those words ringing in my ears. She had the amazing opportunity to go to Paris last year to expand her wings and grow but she stayed behind for Dawson. Now she has this chance to experience life on her own and she wants to stay for me. And I can’t let her do that. 

But how does one go about saying, “I don’t want you to go,” especially when subconsciously I’m begging for her to stay. When no matter how many times I say to my self that her leaving is the best for her that it’s not the best for me, that I’m selfish and don’t want to let her go. 

I can’t let her stay and I won’t let her leave me and I know that one day she’ll resent herself for not going. 

I groan loudly rubbing my eyes trying to control my thoughts. 

I’m in love with her. 

Why can’t it be that simple? 

Maybe it’s because love is never like that. With Andie and I we had numerous hurtles to cross and we almost made it through, but love doesn’t conquer all. You run the race you see the finish line and right as you’re rounding the final stretch an unstoppable force of mass juggernaut stands in your way, knocking you off course and you never find your way back. And right now I’m lost searching for my way back to her, because I’m not going to loose Joey, I won’t let that happen. But how can I do that without holding her back? 

A clump of snow hits my window and I nearly jump at the sound bracing myself to the mattress. Climbing off my bed I peek out seeing her smiling face waving for me to join her. I pull open the window propping my chin in my hand, “Isn’t it a little cold out there?” 

She places her hands on her hips, “Isn’t that the point of snow?” 

“I guess,” I shrug. 

She sloughs through the snow coming to my window, “Then will Pacey come out and play?” 

I need to be alone right now, away from her at least so I can make some rational decisions. She always makes me reach for things I can’t have, her being the prime example. “I actually promised I’d help Dawson out with something today,” I lie. 

“Oh,” she frowns. 

“Yeah, I forgot completely about it,” I continue, “I should have been there ten minutes ago.” 

She shakes her head, “No it’s okay, I’ve got to work on the Icehouse anyway, it should be opening soon and we’ve still got loads of work to do.” 

“Right,” I offer her a slight smirk, “maybe we can hang out tonight then.” 

“Sounds good,” she nods leaning in to kiss me. I turn away pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

“I’ll see you later.” 

She looks at me strangely, “Alright.” 

~*~ 

Jack 

I shuffle my feet against the slippery sidewalk letting the light snow crunch beneath my feet. Jen walks beside me hands firmly stuffed in pockets as we walk along Main Street. 

“What’s up with you?” She asks. 

I shrug my shoulder, “Love stinks, I guess.” 

“Tell me about it,” she smirks. “And I think it’s just love in general, nothing to do with gender preference.” 

I scoff, “If you say so.” 

She looks at me with those stubborn hazel eyes, “Jack, what’s bothering you?” 

I bite my lip finding no way to avoid this conversation, part of me wanting to engage in it anyway. “When I came out last year, the idea of being gay wasn’t based on a specific attraction to the opposite sex, it was just a title.” I begin, “I had only said I was gay and I never enforced it, only took the ridicule.” 

“And now?” 

“Now I have the specific attractions but the pending fear that he’s not one of my tribe makes the teen angst ten fold.” 

“I guess I can’t relate seeing as society has taught us to function on an assumed sexuality.” 

“Not your usual sage advice,” I say. 

“Sorry,” she shrugs, “so who’s the guy?” 

“I’m not sure I’m willing to disclose such information.” 

Her eyes widen with a dropped jaw, “You’re not telling me? This is me Jack!” 

“True,” I nod, I want to tell her. “David.” 

Her face lights up, “Oh my God he is so adorable, I knew you had good taste.” 

I hush her, “Could you keep it down? The entire town doesn’t need to know my interests.” 

“Right,” she silences herself before a giant grin crosses her face. “So what are you going to do about it?” 

“Nothing,” I explain, “because I’m not sure if there’s anything to pursue.” 

She gets that mischievous look, the one that I fear before patting my shoulder, “Leave it up to me.” 

She turns away stalking off and suddenly I’m frozen, “Jen,” I call after her. “Jen, wait!” 

“Don’t worry Jack, give me ten minutes.” 

I shut my eyes tightly, this is not happening. 

~*~ 

Dawson 

I pick up the phone dialing her number wondering where these sudden nerves are coming from. I haven’t felt them since Jen, with Joey everything was easy, I knew everything about her. This, this is new. 

“Hello?” Her perky voice answers. 

“Hey Andie, it’s Dawson.” 

“Oh, hey, what’s up?” 

I panic, “I just… I just,” I can’t think of words. 

“Yeah?” She asks growing impatient. 

“I was wondering if…” my tongue doesn’t function, “did we have any English homework?” 

“Um,” she says strangely, “no, don’t think so.” 

“Oh.” 

“Anything else,” she asks hopefully. 

I notice Pacey standing in my doorway, “No that’s all.” 

“Bye then.” 

“Bye.” 

Walking past me as I hang up the phone he falls back on my bed, “Hi Pace,” I furrow my brows. 

“Can I ask you a question?” He asks staring at the ceiling. 

“Um sure.” 

“When Joey was offered the chance to go to Paris, did you ever regret the fact that she stayed because of you?” 

I shrug my shoulders, “A little I guess, especially since our sophomore year was such a roller coaster and all. Sometimes I wonder if we had gotten that space if our relationship would have worked better.” 

“Yeah,” he nods his purpose still lost. “That’s what I thought.” 

“What’s going on? Did you two get in a fight or something?” I wonder if I’m asking hoping for an affirmative answer, I’m still not entirely sure about their new found relationship. 

“No,” he shakes his head, “we’re fine. I think.” 

“What do you mean, you think?” I ask. 

He sits up, “Joey’s really smart.” 

“Uh huh,” I nod. 

“And me, not so much,” he takes a deep breath. “And see I knew that would be a problem because smart people don’t usually end up with morons like myself, they usually test the waters with people more amongst their tribe, you know someone such as yourself. But I went for it anyway, I fell for her and I’m too far gone to fix it which is stupid I know and I really don’t know what to do with myself anymore.” 

“What does that have anything to do with her going to Paris?” 

He let’s out a deep breath, “We were at this party the other night, and something was on her mind, you could tell because she gets this melty face when something is bothering her. And you know being the concerned, sometimes overwhelming boy friend that I am I tried to figure out what was going on.” 

“And in true Joey Potter fashion she played it off terribly with sentences like, ‘It’s nothing’ or ‘secret what secret?’” I finish for him. 

“Exactly,” he exclaims. 

“So what happened?” 

“Her and Jack go off and get wasted and while I’m dragging her home she’s mumbling something about them wanting her to leave.” 

I’m lost, “Who?” 

“I’m not exactly sure, but apparently guidance is riding her on graduating a year early.” 

I blink a few times, “Wow.” 

“I know,” he groans, “she’s been wanting to get out of this place since she learned how to walk and now they’re offering her an amazing opportunity to do so. But then she had to say those goddamn words.” 

“What was that?” 

“I don’t want to leave you,” I frown; it still hurts to know that she loves him. 

“That’s a tough one,” I say. 

“No sagely advice then?” He asks hopefully. 

“All I can say is that Joey wants to make her own decisions, and my mistake last time was making them for her. Just let her think it through and everything should work itself out.” 

He nods a few times rising to his feet as he heads for the door, “Thanks man,” he pats my shoulder. 

When I offered a truce I never mentioned relationship advice, yet getting through it wasn’t as hard as I thought. 

He stops in the door, “Oh by the way, how are things going on the Andie front?” 

“Non existent,” I reply simply. 

“Have you tried?” He pries. 

“I’m coming down with Jen anxiety again,” I explain. 

He laughs, “She is rather intimidating at first, those subtle beauties are a killer.” It’s amazing to hear how much he still cares about her in his voice. Maybe you can move on and still keep the good memories. “Just be confident and be yourself, she likes that.” 

“Thanks,” I offer him a small grin. 

He laughs again, “Who would have thought we’d ever be having this conversation.” 

“It feels like the 70’s with all the partner swapping,” I shrug. 

His expression grows serious, “I’m glad we worked things out, I uh, I can’t imagine my life without you as a friend.” 

“I’m glad too, Pace.” 

~*~ 

Jen 

David Rivendale works at a charming little book shop on the corner of Seacrest that I’ve stopped in at only a few times. It’s quiet, it’s charming, it’s him and I know that he’s the perfect match for my beloved Jack. 

To ask a boy flat out their sexual preference is a tad bit audacious, but to allow him to reject you in the name of homosexuality, it’s all fair. I’ve embarrassed myself plenty over the years and to take one more for Jack is nothing compared to the happiness that will ensue. 

Stepping up to the counter I look at a few books on display. “Can I help you?” He asks. 

“No,” I shake my head, “just looking.” In a purely staged move I smile brightly, “Say your David, right?” 

“Jen,” he recalls sweetly, “from the dance, friends with Jack.” 

“Seems you know my whole biography,” I quip with a wink. 

“Just a little, I guess.” 

“How long have you been working here?” I ask, “I mean I’ve only been here a few times myself.” 

“A few months,” he shrugs, “I love books so it’s nice to share the joy.” 

He is so adorable. “That’s perfect because I could use some recommendations.” 

“Okay,” he nods, “what genre would you like?” 

I smile flirtatiously, “I was in the mood for romance actually.” 

His face goes pale and his jaw nearly drops, I smile innocently, “You alright there, Dave?” 

He smiles uneasily, “Yeah, fine its just romance is such a broad topic isn’t it.” 

“That it is,” I agree, “You’ve got fairy tale endings, tragic repercussions, unrealistic comedic entanglements, and you know new age.” 

He cocks a brow, “New age?” 

“You know women falling for other women, men for men, all the stuff that was probably going on in those writer’s bedrooms that they were too scared to write about till now.” 

“It is becoming a more accepted practice one would say,” okay my plan has become a little side tracked. 

“Definitely,” I nod. 

“Jack’s gay,” he says, “that’s not supposed to be a secret is it?” 

“Not at all,” I shake my head furiously. 

“I remember when he came out in town; everybody was all in a uproar that our tiny Christian town had been tarnished.” 

“Kind of ironic that there was already so much sin swirling around our innocent pot.” 

“Yeah,” he shrugs. 

“So how’d you feel about it all?” 

“Me?” He draws his hand to his chest, “it’s not obvious enough already?” 

I furrow my brows, “What do you mean.” 

“I’ve been teased since peewees, back when I couldn’t hold the bat right.” 

“So you’re—.” 

“Yeah,” he grins shyly, “that’s the only reason you came her anyway, to play match maker between Jack and me.” 

The kids good, “Yeah, well I was also looking for that book.” 

“Which one was that again?” 

I pick up one of their decorative journals by the counter, “This one.” 

“Not your most riveting choice,” he quips. 

I smirk, “Not yet,” I open it to the first page, “But if you just place 7 little digits on this sheet and this story will get a whole lot more interesting.” 

He looks down at the page and then back at me before pulling out a pen scribbling his phone number on it. 

“Pleasure doing business with you,” I say handing him the money before heading back to the cold winter air, Jack waiting beside the door anxiously. 

I simply smile and he exhales a relief breath. 

~*~

Andie 

I flip through a few pages of my library book; this Vietnam project is going to be a killer. The cold winter breeze sends a chill through my body as I tighten up my coat walking along the peer. Catching sight of Jen and Jack a smile crosses my face. 

“Hey,” I say, “where are you off to?” 

“Um,” they smile uneasily, “Joey actually called and asked if we could help with the Icehouse, they have to open soon before they reach bankruptcy, and since I’m a valued employee,” Jack shrugs, “I offered my help.” 

“Oh,” I don’t want to feel out of the loop because of what happened and I don’t want our group to fracture because of it either. “Well could you use an extra pair of hands?” 

“The more the merrier,” Jen says cheerfully. 

“What’s with the happy mood?” I ask curiously. 

“You’re brother has finally entered the dating pool,” Jen says proudly. 

I practically squeal, “Oh my God is it David?” 

Jack blushes, I nearly jump on him. 

We get to the Icehouse and Joey meets my eyes uneasily but I simply offer a smile of peace. The restaurant almost looks exactly as it did before the fire although the kitchen is a little newer and the seats are all a little cleaner. Everything is one step up in class without altering its small town charm. 

We unload dishes, set up tables, check wiring in the kitchen, its all quite fun actually. 

Joey sits at the counter doing some accounting, she seems sad. 

“Hey, you need any help?” 

She looks up and flashes a soft crooked grin, “No, I’m fine actually.” 

“Oh,” I take a seat beside her, “Is there something wrong?” 

She scrunches her nose, “No, I’m fine.” 

I don’t believe her, “Are you sure?” 

“I’m just tired that’s all.” 

I fiddle my fingers staring down at them, “How’s Pacey?” 

“I don’t know,” she says sadly, “he’s not really talking to me right now.” 

“What happened?” 

She smirks bitterly, “I don’t know, just Pacey being Pacey, he’s a brooder and all.” 

“Are you guys fighting or something?” I’m starting to sound a little desperate. 

She frowns, “It’s just Pacey’s so much harder to read then Dawson. With him he gets all awkward when he’s hiding something, calling randomly just to listen to your voice while he made up some stupid excuse so he didn’t seem too obvious. He’s too much of a dreamer to realize he may get hurt.” 

I narrow my eyes, our phone call coming back too me. Flashes of my time with Dawson Leery start to replay and I wonder if he has some other intention. Some other attraction that I hadn’t quite caught on to yet. And now suddenly I’m finding myself attracted as well and realize that I have gotten way too far ahead of myself. 

“Yeah,” I whisper distantly. 

“But Pacey keeps all his emotions so close in.” 

A reminiscent smile crosses my lips, “I remember, the way he acts he keeps everything so close to him, but once he’s certain on something you can read it in his eyes so easily.” 

“Yeah,” she nods. 

“Maybe he’s just as confused as you are right now.” 

“You’re probably right,” she says, “we both just need to get everything out in the open, because if there’s one thing that I’ve learned during my brief teenage years is that secrets always come back to haunt you.” 

I laugh, “Don’t I know it.” I try to remember relationships of the past, ones that taught me more then anything and ones that I continue to cherish, “Most importantly,” I say, “is that you need to let him know that you love him.”