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cant do anything, ive lost hope, thnks alot azrii!! for the biiiiiggg distraction, im so lost now, i canot pick up where i left from, cuz there's nothing to pick up, my studies are completely done for, every1 cant seem to just leave me alone, the only thing that im longin for is a cigerrate, i dont know why,, i give up, im already way lost in studies, now i forsee that im gonna get huge trouble in school, but, who cares, no1 cares, there's nothing to be fish about, at most, ill get into trouble or somethin, i dont care about me, i dont expect any1 to care, not even her, i dont care if they make my life screwed up even more, its already screwed up, they're just preventing me from killing myself, i just hope they wont bug me at the wrong time, cuz that's when ill hack care bout my life, i dont know what will i do, there's nothing to look forward in school,ir after school,no one can distract me now, life's bitch, i just want her, even for a split second, i just want to hold her hands, i want to look into her eyes, she's like my angle, my motivation, she came into my life just the right time, the time where i felt shit about everything, she made me feel that my life is worth being alive,
but now, she's gone, with her own life, i cant seem to pick myself up,i hate myself, tmr's school, i dont care about failing or being in a worst class, i dont care if ppl look down to me, i gave up hope in myself, it's not easy for me now, i cant even tell her how im feeling, cuz i dont want to make her feel crap again, i cant even be at least a lil happy, i just want her, i dont know how it got so bad, but shes the only thing that i had, used to have,, nothin could ever be so wrong, i dont know what else to do, i just dont want to end up killing myself, maybe not now, but i dont know if this will happen later on in life, once everything gets so bad, and i cant handle it nomore. i just hope god would do something, im lost , truely lost, i dont have any aim in my life, i dont have a goal, everything i do is always disliked by every1, im nvr good enough fer any1, i just hope there's a solution to all this, life's just screwed up, it didnt take me long to find that out, i hated myself ever since i was pramary 2, and those two pigs just had to be selfish, i hate them, i hope they would die and go to hell once my brother grow up, i hate them with all my heart, they made me this way, i cant do anythin about it, my head hurts damn bad now, im off to have a walk,
so long and good night!