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hope, that's the one things that stands just below faith, iive lost hope to have faith, i mean, there's no hope for me, and me not believing in hope is jst faithless in other words, i cant stand myself, azrii gave me a floppy disc with all the moral values in it, happiness, forgiveness,cheerfulness, selfishness and everything,having roman and others as an example. why am i not surprised looking at it, cuz i knew it was gonna be something like this when he gave me the dicsket, but how do i have all thoses if i just dont have faith and hope anymore, before i met her, i had faith, i had faith in the team, and everything else, but not myself, i lived for the team, when i met her, i sacrifised everythin, i had my very first long term goal, which is do really well in studies, get agood job, just to be with her forever, studies was nvr my game, i mean, i hate studies so damn much, i know it helps you in life, but i just wanted to study because of her, i wanted to be with her forever, even though we're this young, but, she nvr felt the same way, now i have no goal anymore, i dont believe hope in life, i look at others and jsut feel im useless, im hopeless, and all. even when ppl play around calling me stupid, but i know they meant it, i was nvr the bright or normal one in studies, im the lowest, and there's no point for me to even try in studies, ive lost hope, i dont think i can even help out in the team anymore, i cant even pretend the way i used to when im with the team, i cant hide my feelings anymore, i dont know why, i guess i really meant it when i said i love her, she sent me a friendster msg askin me what's wring and why am i not in school and all, she said it was DISTRACTING.see? ive distracted her again,i dont want to bug her anymore, but it seemed like i did, it's jsut a matter of time, and im done for.