Now Playing: sleepppplessssss
3 am ,and i cant seem to sleep, been thinking of all those things again,,family,,,friends,,and her,,,her especially,,i cant get her off my mind fer even 1 second,,i love her,,and it's freaking hard to eccept that we're now like this,,,,,i dont like living a lie,,my life's a lie,,i nvr get things done,,i dont think i can help vespers,,i think ill screw up things,,im hated in this family,,,and i annoy and hurt friend's feelings,,,iv hurt her,,,and ill nvr forgive myself fer doign that,,,been doing lotsa situps and all those stupid shit,,but nothing seems to help,,,,i used to do sit ups becasue i had anger in me,,the burnin anger,,,now,,,ive lost hope,,,i want her,,it's like,,she turn the fire off in me,,,it's like,,i can only do things when im with her,,when i know that she loves me to the fullest,,but i dont expect that anymore,,i jsut want the best for vespers,,im screwed,,,studies,,,everytime when i think of that,,i just get so lost,,i just get so hopeless,,i jsut give up,,,i hope ill find hope,,,and faith,,,im not strong anymore,,,my skills are deproving,,nothin g can save me now,,,the only thing i can do now is to be normal in front of others,,the reason why i kept on saying that ill be normal in front of others is because i really want ro remind myself whenever im with ppl,,i dont want them to know the real me,,,cuz if they know,,they wouldnt treat me as normal,,,i odnt know if ill be going to school later on,,i dont know,,,i simply dont know,,i dont want to know,,she's there,,but i dont want her to know how im really feeling,,,because,,i dont think i can act normal in school,,i just get easily provoked and frustated at every1 in school,,and when im that,,i wouldnt be able to control my emotions,,i dont know,,being in school makes me feel that im the most screwed person on earth,,,every1 in school makes me feel that way,,and ill go do a flip at the fitnees corner whenever i feel that way,,to think,,,at least ive got flips,,at least im not taht hopeless,,,but now,,even if i do that,,,ill still feel crap,,i dont know why,,i close my eyes now, and her image jsut appeared,,she's so damn adorable,,and beautiful,,,she glows in my eyes,,i love her,,with all my heart,,i just hope she feels the same way to,,
aahhh,,finally,,im startin to feel tired,,,ill update it at night or something