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life's a bitch, the only thing im hoping for is to meet up with her, and to see her, and to have my last look at her, then ill be screwed, if i ever get to kiss her again, ill be happy, if i ever get to hold her again, ill know that ive got home, but, i know that im screwed if i dont feel the love in return, she wont love me, and will nvr love me, and if i sense that, then i dont want to be in her life anymore, i dont want anybody to be in my life, i dont want to have a life, i wanna end it, i dont know, i hate myself, i truely do, im off to blow my nose and hoping that i would kill myself somehow.