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it's been many days and i still havent got a chance to look at her, i miss her, and im still crying every night for her, i miss her so damn badly, she's the only 1 who can and will make me happy, i love her, and im starting to think that i cant get over her,kat read through my blog, and i dont have any idea how clement knew my smiles were fake, now the whole team knows , now that i cannot face them anymore, as they know that im hiding all my crap, i hate myself even more now, i didnt mean to hurt kat, i really dont know what to do with my life now, im jsut freaking too craped now, i like poetry, i hae an acount on deviantart.com,, i slached my arm, it hurts, but its less pain than the pain in my heart, i've just decided on something, i decided not to talk seriously with any1, not to ttalk about life with azrii, not to talk about love with kat, not to talk about anything with any1, i just wanna stop spitting out what's in my mind, i feel too hopeless to even type this out, it explains why i havent update this blog for quite some time now, i feel hopeless, i dont want to screw her life up, or any1, i cant tak ethis, im out and off to have a walk outside, nights