East Coast Park!!!!
Now Playing: Trying very hard to move on
I had a great time today hangin out with Plod, Angela, Clement, n others, it totally distracted me jsut a little from thinkin of her, and feeling crap about it, i left home at about 1 n reached Bishan at 2+, angela came n the four of us went to the beach to gay around, i told myself i didnt want to do any tricks but the rest just got me moods up, n Angela asked me if im ok, men,,i thought keeping quiet about how i feel'll hide my feelings, but i was wrong. Anyways, i managed to doa dupla n a dupla tuck dismount just with the 1st try, n bailed a freaking frontsommer. Then Angela told me "physical pain is better than emotional pain"MEN!! i was like,,how did she know,i smiled n agree with her,, the rest were doing fine, azrii did lotsa impressive but at the same time funny moves, he's great, the rest, were all gaying ard n all, they asked me to do more other flips but i wasnt exactly in the mood, so i jsut smiled n all, n my whole body was aching, the worst part, some1 stole torch's bag pack,he had everything in it, feel bad for that guy, we played some bottle game in mcdonald while waiting for torch n azrii to come back from making a police report,,it's really nice n we all had a great laugh n fun, i felt depressed during that time,cuz i miss her so damn much, but i didnt want to spoil the mood, so i just gayed ard with them, but i did have a great time, we all left n slack at a playground while torch n kadir went home,,i just felt good with them, i dont know, the feeling is hard to explain, but they just made me feel like, at least ive got friends, i dont know, i just want to hang out with them more, infact, ive already missed them, i didnt want to go home, but it was 10pm, so we took a bus back to bishan, azrii kept us occupied , telling us bout flips n all, i couldnt really concentrate in the bus cuz i was thinking of her, n wished she was beside me instead of that gay asss angela, i dont know, i really miss her alot, azrii n hatta took a train back home, angela live in bishan, so it's nearby, plod stopped a few busstop before us,then clement , ashton n i took a cap to sengkang, men, i hope we all could gay ard till late,,didnt want to go home ,cuz now, im just thinikin n thinkin of her, n miss her damn so much, owwel,,life just sux,,wel,,i'd better go get some rest now, there's test tmr, dont know shit about it, but, ohwell, life is screwed up, i just do wut i can, so, yeah,,thnk u so much guys for the the fun n great time, u guys are real great n it made me feel a lil better,,although now i still feel more crap then ever,,,owwel,,looking forward to hanging out with u guys again!!nights!!

OH GOD
OH GODDD!!it's 11 in the morning n i couldnt stop dreamin n thinking of her, im starting to think that writing this stupid blog wotn help, men, i dreamt that she wants to go cyclin with me, then i said ok, then she said, i thought u wont want to go, men, how i wish that's reality, i woke up crying, i dont know why, i just miss her damn too much, n later on, friends call me to go to the beach n to flip around, but i dont think ill be going cuzi dont want to spoil the mood, life is sucha bitch, i hope she's happy, n im starting to think that she's lost interest in me already, i dont think ill ever be happy in my life no more, a friend of mine, angela, told me that she was this depressed too, or maybe even more, now i know that love hurts , especially when ur young, it's like, she's my only motivation, n i dont think i can face her without tearing nomore, cause, she said she want us to be just friends. that's fine, but, i mean, how could she pretend that nothing had happened, how oculd she pretend taht we nvr did anything before, i cant, ill just feel crap, i hope i can get through tmr, in sch , have a sciece test n i dont know shit about it, but, i cant study, it just wont get in my head, it's just too depressing for me, i hope that nothing would go wrong for me tmr, i hope the kids in sch wotn bug me, cuz, im not in the mood to joke ard, my life's completely change after she said, let's just be friends, y heart was broken n it'll nvr be fixed, im scarred, for life, i just hope i'm strong enough to pretend that im happy

practically
Now Playing: Felicity and me--my life will nvr be the same again without her

she came online at 12+am, n we talked, over msn, my heart was shatered, knowin that we cant be together nomore, but she said that she still loves me, i know ill nvr be the same again, in school, everywhere else, but i do hope she will, i do hope she'll be happy, i had to lie to her that ill be fine, but life's just pointless without her, being me sux, with such a crapped up family, she's the only reason i wake up every morning n sleep everynight, i really love her,,at least she gave me a lil hope that we'll patch up after finish secondary sch,,,but the thing is,,,she's smarter,,n she'll be in poly 1 year before i do, and 3 yrs isnt a short time, i dont know, i hope nothing'll happen to me, or her, during that period of time, im just so heartbroken, i really love her with all my heart, now i dont think that i should even be in the same school with her, cuz it's ard for me to look at her n knowin that icant hold her n kiss her the way i used to, i miss her love, ill miss everything about her, im just too depressed now,,wut can i do? is there any way to get over this?im just gonna be so lifeless till we're back together

cant live without her


this is me,,im too ashamed of showing myself,,well,,,today is real hard for me,,,knowing that ive destroyed her life,,,its like,,,my life was crap untill i met her,,n her life is crap after she met me,,,everything is not right n it's hard for me now,,,ive screwed her life up,,,,she's like everything to me,,she showed me wut's love,,she cared for me,,she's always there whenever i needed her,,but,,,that's all behind her parents back,,now,,because of me,,,her life is screwed up,,she's lost her family's trust,,,her friends are talking aobut her,,,she's the most caring n loving person i know,,it's like,,,she's seeing me behind her parents back,,,n she's always living a miserable life at home because of me,,every1 at home is ignoring her,,,,n life is screwed up for her because of me,,,i jsut hate myself,,i really love her,,n now,,she said that she wanna be jsut friends to get back her normal life,,,that means,,ill get back my normal life,,which is totally screwed up,,,im a nobody with freerunnin skills,,,,i dont care bout all the skills i have,,i jsut want her,,,i jsut miss her so damn much,,,,,i cried so damn much last night,,,3am,,,then a police men cameup n asked me if im alright,,then i just ran away real fast,,,passed by her house,,looked up her kitchen window,,but hse's not there,,,im startin to think that ill nvr get over it,,,but many said that i will in a few months time,,i really hope i do,,,cuz i still love her,,n i miss everthing about her,,,,i really love her,,but i cant do nothin but jsut to see her feel happy,,i really hope that she will be happy,,,but i do hope that she will get back with me,,cuz i really love her

FINGERS!!!
Now Playing: y do i create this blog?
Topic: fingers
y do i create a blog? it's just a distraction for me, after everything that has happened to me,n to be 16 this year,it's a start of a crappy life. without her,i dont think i can live anymore,n i think this is the only thing that will keep me alive everynight,,im gonna try to update my blog every night,infact,,i think i will,,cuz this is the time when i think very deeply of her,n would feel crap about it,,i really loved her,,n she's just gone ,,n nothin could get into my head,,,,i just hope u guys will enjoy it!