Still under construction, but in the meanwhile:
I Can't Believe It's A Law Firm!
An Ode to Lionel Hutz AKA Miguel Sanchez AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Folk-
Homer: All you can eat- hah!
Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my
suit against the film, Neverending Story.
Homer: Do you think I have a case?
Lionel Hutz: Now Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often. But you are the greatest hero
in American history.
Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, what did you and your husband do after you were ejected from the restaurant?
Marge: We pretty much went straight home.
Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, you're under oath.
Marge: We drove around until 3 a.m. looking for another "All You Can Eat" fish restaurant.
Lionel Hutz: And when you couldn't find one?
Marge: We went fishing.
(Marge breaks down in tears.)
Lionel Hutz: (to jury) Do these seem like the actions of a man who had, "all he could eat?"
Now Apu, Mrs. Simpson claims she forgot she was carrying that bottle of delicious bourbon, brownest of the brown liquors... So tempting. What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial!
Lionel Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I--- Uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly," and the word "dog" with "son."
I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.
Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched 'Matlock' in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it.
Devil Flanders: I simply ask for what is mine.
Lionel Hutz: That wasa right-pretty speech, sir. But I ask, what is a contract? Webster's defines it as "an agreement under the law
which is unbreakable." Which is unbreakable! Excuse me, I must use the restroom.
Milhouse, baby! Lionel Hutz, your new agent, bodyguard, unauthorized biographer, and drug dealer---uhhhh, keeper awayer.
