In the Light of the Moon
by Kalliroscope
The young queen stared, hypnotised, at the moon. From her high vantage point, the glowing, glimmering full moon looked closer than ever, as though she could touch it if she merely reached a paw towards it’s pure white light…
Grizabella sighed. Those days were over… long over, and best forgotten. She was no longer young, no longer beautiful, and what’s more, no longer in the Junkyard, ancestral home of the Jellicle Tribe.
She was no longer a Jellicle.
The once-lovely queen turned her haunted blue eyes towards the ceiling of her makeshift den, as though she could see the Jellicle Moon, as full as it had been that night, through the top flap of the cardboard box she had adopted as a temporary home.
As no radiant celestial orb showed itself, Grizabella shook her head in disgust at her own sentimental folly, and quickly looked away, refusing to admit that there had been tears in her eyes.
"It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen," the glamourous young Grizabella breathed, her wide eyes reflecting the light of the moon she gazed at. "As beautiful as… as I am," and here a hint of pride stole into her fascinated voice…
"What a little fool I was back then," the definitely older, possibly wiser queen muttered to herself.
She huddled inside her cardboard box, trying to ignore the sound of the rain that pattered loudly on the pavement outside.
The rainwater was beginning to drip through her cardboard ceiling, and a few drops splashed onto the soft, greying fur of Grizabella’s head. She twitched an ear, but otherwise paid it no heed.
"I was a bloody little fool," she whispered, talking to no one, talking to her memories. "I couldn’t see that all a queen could want was all around me… a home, a family, security and love and acceptance…"
Grizabella closed her eyes, swallowing hard against both the tears that threatened to spill and the memories that threatened to engulf her.
The memories…
"You’re the most beautiful cat I’ve ever met," the tom at her side said, his eyes fixed on her face. "Come with me…"
The top of the cardboard box finally gave way, letting a wave of water loose on the pitiful creature hunched within. Grizabella shivered, her grey-tinged fur dripping. "Cold…" she whispered to herself, her shadowy blue eyes still closed…
…still seeing the past…
"I can’t!" she said, surprised at his offer. "I’m a Jellicle… I can’t leave the tribe, the Junkyard…"
The rain continued, growing harder as the night wore on. Grizabella opened her eyes but once, to blink dazedly at the black, cloudy sky… the moonless night sky…
"What have they ever given you, that you should give them your unconditional devotion?" the tom said angrily. Grizabella didn’t turn her eyes away from the moon, but replied coolly "They are all I have."
"I am eternally alone," Grizabella sighed, watching her memories play before her eyes. "It’s my curse."
"Not so," the tom said, and something softly dangerous entered his voice. "You have me…"
"…and all I have now is myself, and dreams…"
He took hold of her chin in one paw, turned her face towards him. She reluctantly allowed her eyes to be dragged away from the moon… "You have me," he repeated, the menace growing stronger.
"…and memories, memories of what should never have come true…" Grizabella shivered again, pulling her tail closer to her body. "Memories of what I had…"
"I have… you…" she whispered, as hypnotised by his brilliant green eyes as she had previously been by the radiant glow of the full moon. "…you… and the Jellicle Moon."
But now she didn’t even have the moon. The sky was as black as her fur had once been, long ago when she was beautiful and the world was welcoming.
Back when she had a home to take shelter in on a dark and stormy night such as this; back when she had a family to turn to when she felt lonely.
"You promised me the world!" she screamed, rage and fear mingling in her voice. "You promised me the world and the moon, and everything I wanted and your everlasting love. And you’ve already forgotten that promise…"
Grizabella tried not to think about the lovely, lonely past… tried even harder not to think about the not-so-lovely past.
"I’ve given you all I ever promised," her erstwhile mate drawled, sounding amused. He swished his long tail back and forth as his wary green eyes watched her pace, fury and fear keeping her moving. "You are the one who forgot, my dear ‘Bella… forgot the first lesson I taught you."
The rain began to gradually grow fainter, the drops slowing and coming with less force. Grizabella opened one eye and squinted at the sky, but the clouds showed no sign of parting, no sign of revealing the moon.
"And what lesson would that be?" she hissed, anger at how she had been used taking control of her voice. "The lesson of never trusting anyone," he said softly, that familiar threatening, but almost gentle tone shading his voice. "Never trust anyone, my dear… including me."
"I’ve learned that lesson by now, my bloody dear," Grizabella growled under her breath, wrapping her arms around her knees, struggling to remain awake as the tempting, tantalising thought of slumber drifted towards her…
But she couldn’t sleep, for fear she might dream…
For fear that dreams would be worse than memories.
"Macavity’s mate, eh?" snarled the burly orange tabby who had beaten her and thrown her out onto the street. "No longer, darlin’." The young Grizabella remained silent, curled up in a heap of blood-soaked black and red fur, the pavement beneath her growing red. The tabby spat at her and left.
Grizabella began to cry, silent tears streaming down her face, and then turning to racking, painful sobs as she relived the pain of that brutal eternity, while she had lost her beauty and what little innocence remained.
"You win!" she screamed at the sky, tears flooding her blue eyes, finally surrendering to pain. "I’ve lost everything! So go on, take whatever it is I have left! My life, if that’s worthy anything by now. Let me die, at least!"
The night wore on, and the clouds drifted away in wisps of shadows. The moon they revealed was full, but while it’s pristine light might have been considered glorious by some, it held no comfort for the wretched cat who lay, dead, in the gutter, surrounded by the soaking remains of a cardboard box.. The few humans who walked through this isolated area merely shook their heads sadly at the abandoned body, and moved on.
In the light of the moon, the rain shone like silver on the pavement, and cast an eerie glow over the grey-furred cat, to whom death had come at last like a welcome friend…
Grizabella was alone still, but now she at least had the Jellicle Moon…
