Helplessly Aware

By Charlie burton

Chapter 1

JC was watching Justin carefully as he performed his solo, his expressive eyes telling they’re own story. Justin saw him watching and grinned, walking over as he continued to sing.

“Saw you with your new boyfriend, ‘fraid it made me jealous,” came the unforgettable voice. “I was hoping that I’d never see you with him…”

JC bounced to the beat, grooving in his own distinctive manner and he could still hear the unruly screams from the thousands of fans that heaved like a water balloon about to burst.

“Heh,” Justin said, his face one that would just etch into your mind as he snapped his hips and continued.

Then it was his turn, “Call me a hater if you want to, but I only hate on him ‘cause I want you.” His mind began to think what the words meant to him and a messy break up came to mind.

More and more passion flowed in his voice as Justin danced beside his friend – the sensitive, blue-eyed crooner with a voice like silk. “You can say I’m crazy if you want to, that’s true – I’m crazy ‘bout you.” He closed his eyes for the last two lines, and an image crept into his head – a smile so euphoric your tears would fall waterless, stormy eyes burning with passion and a laugh that left you craving for more. As the chorus started JC registered his thoughts and they left him helplessly unaware of why he’d been thinking about Justin’s best friend.

GRACE pushed the door closed of the small Jeep Wrangler with the side of her body as she struggled with a carrier bag full of food. Her long golden hair was tossed across her face and she brushed a few strands back, tucking them behind her ear. Her stormy blue-grey eyes sparkled in the early morning sunlight as she looked around the alluring valley in which the modern building was set. It was on the outskirts of Phoenix in a lush area of palm trees and cactus, the palm leaves rustling peacefully in the breeze and a cat stretched out on the neatly mowed lawn, batting its paw at an insect that caught its interest.

The lady at the desk quickly checked her in and pointed her in the direction of a few heavily built males. Grace grinned as she walked towards security and they grinned back, breaking up their conversation to welcome their friend back.

“Well if it isn’t Miss Gracie Lister, back again on a break?” Eric exclaimed, grinning his big smile at her. “What took you so long to get out here?”

“Visiting a friend in Scottsdale, how are you guys?” she burbled, a slight English accent coming through. That was from her dad.

“Good, been working hard makin’ sure those guys are safe, as usual,” Lonnie replied.

“It’s gonna be good to have you round here again - it’s been quiet without you.”

“Ha-ha!” she replied sarcastically, pulling a small face at Lonnie.

“Ooh! Ice cream!” Todd cried, peering into her bag. “And English chocolate! Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Dad sent me a load from England the other week, and there’s no single lucky guy,” she assured, pushing back a loose strand of hair.

Todd ignored her comment. “Now that’s Curly’s favourite ice cream...hmm...don’t you start fluttering your long lashes and givin’ us blue-eyed innocence.”

Grace laughed. “Hell! I can try, can’t I?”

“Well, you got Curly hooked.”

She slapped Todd’s arm playfully and began to walk towards the stairs. “Where ‘bouts are they?”

“They’ve just finished an interview for some magazine, the photo shoots after lunch - pizza’s just been ordered. Don’t worry, you’ll hear them, second floor, room at the end of the hallway – where all the noise is coming from. Your mom’s up there too.”

“Thanks, c’you guys round,” she called back as she turned and made her way up the stairs. Sure enough when she reached the second floor she could hear the loud laughter, screams and thumping music from down the hallway.

“Gracie!” Justin exclaimed as she entered the room. He stopped dancing and jumped over the couch that Lance was sitting on, his big smile lighting up the room. “How are you?! No one told us you were coming!”

Joey turned the music down and Chris kept doing his funny little dance, JC looked on as the familiar face brought a small smile to his face.

“I didn’t know for sure if I would be able to make it, I’ve been visiting a friend in Scottsdale but now I’m here!” she replied, glancing round at all five guys who were acting their normal quirky selves. Chris was over in the corner dancing to the music (Busta near by), Joey had been flicking through the collection of CD’s, and Lance was laid out on the couch and had been talking to JC, who was busting a few moves himself.

Joey waved at her and his wide flirty smile creased into his face; his bright red hair and sparkling brown eyes seemed to spell home, as she knew it. Justin put an arm around her and led her into the room, Grace sitting down on the couch next Lance and putting the bag at her feet. They all gathered round, Chris with his pup under one arm and Joey sitting down cross-legged on the wooden floor.

“Oooh! Whatcha bring?” Chris cried.

“Ice cream-” Grace started, placing a large tub of Ben & Jerry’s into Justin’s hand.

Justin’s face lit up. “Jeez! I need a spoon! Anyone got a spoon?”

She placed the chocolate on the table. “Lots of English chocolate, M&M’s, and gumballs. I hope I didn’t forget anything.”

“Marshmallows- No, I’m only kidding,” Chris said.

“I got a bar a chocolate,” JC announced, taking a bar from the table.

Lance sat up and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You can’t eat all that! You’ll be sick.”

“Watch me.”

“So how’d the interview go this morning?” Grace enquired.

“Okay,” Justin replied. “I still need a spoon.”

“It was for Teen People which wasn’t so bad, pretty much the uniform questions and things they wanted to know, plus stuff about the new album and single,” JC said, taking charge.

“I hear you’ve got the photo shoot this afternoon,” Grace asked, taking a piece of chocolate from JC.

“Out in the desert somewhere, sounds cool,” Justin said.

“Some old car as well,” Chris added, a grin on his face.

“And you of course,” Joey said. “You are coming, right?”

“Sure thing. I’ve missed you guys. College isn’t that much fun.”

“What I’m missing, huh?” Justin exclaimed.

The door opened and a woman walked in, her shoulder length hair tied up in a casual ponytail and her baby blue eyes glittered in the light that streamed through the windows. Megan Lister, they’re stylist.

“Mom!” Grace cried, jumping to her feet and embracing her mom in a huge hug.

“Hey Grace, how ya doin’?” her mom replied. They separated and her mom held her shoulders, looking her daughter up and down to make sure she was still in one piece and healthy. “Looks like all that basketball and kick-boxing is doin’ you some good.”

“Kick-boxing?! You didn’t say you had started kick-boxing!” Justin exclaimed, looking up with a surprised face.

“Just recently, brilliant stress relief.”

“Isn’t that usually done with Muay Tai or something?” JC asked.

Grace looked incredulously at JC who returned it with a sheepish grin. “Something like that. I haven’t felt so good since we used to play basketball.”

“You talked to Jack lately?”

Grace shook her head as her mother asked about her older brother who was away at college in Vancouver. He’d barely seen any of them since he’d left three years ago, and was still bitter from his parents separation and dad leaving to go live back in England.

“Meg?” Justin whined. “You wouldn’t happen to know if there’s any spoons hangin’ about anywhere, do you?”

“Grace brought ice cream with her, did she?” Meg enquired, looking at her daughter suspiciously.

“Ben & Jerry’s.”

“You’re gonna put on weight eating tubs like that,” she replied.

“Put on weight?! With the work we have to do? You’re crazy! You try jumping around on stage for an hour or so,” JC protested.

“Okay, okay, I’ll be back with some spoons. It’s nice to have you back,” she said, turning to Grace.

“You too, mom.”

Meg left the room, closing the door behind her as she went in search of spoons for Justin.

“This is so good!” Joey exclaimed, putting another piece of chocolate into his mouth.

“So what’s this kick-boxing all about then?” JC asked.

“And we wanna know all about what you’ve been gettin’ up to at College,” Lance added.

Grace sat back down next to Lance and put a gumball into her mouth. “Well, Cali’s not much different, apart from a few rain storms. Other than that it’s been hard work, lots of drawing and painting, hanging out at the beach and going to a couple of low-key parties.”

“Got yourself a guy in your life yet?” Joey asked.

“Don’t think you’ve got a chance Joe,” Chris replied. “She’s waiting for Curly.”

“Ha, ha!” Justin shouted, digging his finger into the tub of ice cream in frustration.

“No, not yet Joey. Too busy with work, jus’ like you guys.”

“Hey, I always have room for pretty ladies, especially you Gracie,” Joey grinned.

“I’m sure you do! You shoulda seen him at this Christmas party we performed at! Boy! He was milking it!” JC exclaimed, the other guys laughing.

Joey was about to put up a defence but Lance said, “And what happened to you at Christmas? You usually come visit, but you didn’t.”

“And over Millennium. You shoulda been in Hawaii with us!” JC added, his face telling her all she needed to know about the performance.

“Went back up to Connecticut to see some old school friends, and we went to Times Square for New Year’s Eve - it was pretty amazing. Good party afterwards though.”

“I’m sure, Miss Party till I drop!” Justin cried.

“Hey!” She replied, slapping him playfully on the arm. “You know I’m not like that.”

“Yeah, you got the shy act going on,” Chris teased. “You and JC get along fly together, that is until his moves on the dance floor start hotting up!”

JC looked a little embarrassed, but Grace cooled the situation. “So, you been writing any more songs lately?” she asked, playing with a packet of M&M’s that were lying on the table, as she gazed up into his sensitive blue eyes.

“A couple, not sure if they’re good enough to record or anything like that,” he replied shyly.

“Ah, well you’ll have to show me them sometime when you’ve got a free moment.”

“Here you go,” Meg said, walking into the room with a handful of spoons. She placed them in Justin’s hand and put a hand on her hip. “That sufficient?”

“Puurfect,” Justin drawled, giving her one of his boyish grins.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she replied. “Don’t give me that smile. Pizza’s arrived by the way, someone’s bringing it up. Photo shoots at one, and there’s another at sunset.”

“Oh dear,” Grace said, taking the tub of ice cream from Justin and putting the lid back on. “Looks like you’ll have to wait till this evening for this, it’ll ruin your appetite.” She handed the tub of ice cream to her mom and Meg smiled at her daughter and left the room.

Justin looked at Grace with the expression of a small child, quivering his bottom lip and looking up at her with big puppy dog eyes.

Joey and Chris laughed a little, before Grace walked over and took the packets of M&M’s from their hands, and then turned to JC and put out a hand.

“Aw, you wouldn’t?” JC purred, pulling his best smile and smoothest voice.

Grace continued to look at him, trying not to smile herself at the innocent face gazing up at her. “Don’t make me use force.”

“Ooh! Big Daddy’s in with a chance!” Chris cooed.

JC quickly handed the chocolate over and jumped to his feet, diving towards Chris.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Grace cried. “Break it up!”

The door was pushed open again and Wes walked in with a pile of pizzas in his large arms. “Got a problem in here?”

“Ye-” Grace began.

“Of course not, JC jus’ nearly got lucky thas all,” Justin said calmly, grinning at Grace and then JC. Grace just stuck her tongue out and then turned back to Wes.

“Thanks. They’re fine. Just a little hyper.”

“Tell me about it! You sure you’re gonna be fine up here, alone with these five?”

“I can handle them,” Grace replied, a sugary smile carved into her features.

“Even that spring over there? He jus’ doesn’t keep still,” Wes said, looking in JC’s direction where he pulled another innocent face. “Jus’ you keep your eye on him.”

“C’mon, I want pizza!” Joey cried, relieving two boxes from Wes’ arms.

“Me too,” Lance said, taking another box to follow Joey back to the table.

“C’you guys later, photo shoot this afternoon,” Wes announced, exiting the room.

“Like we’d forget!” Chris sighed, taking a seat and opening a pizza box. “Ooh! Pepperoni!”

Justin put an arm around Grace’s waist and pulled her back round, leading her back over to the couch. “Les’ put a little weight on this thin frame.”

“Uh, I don’t think so, and I’m not sure ‘thin’ is quite the right word. I’ve put on weight since I’ve been at College, which isn’t good.”

“Comfort eating, being away from us too much,” Joey replied, taking a large bite from the slice of pizza he was holding. “Mmm-mmm, jus’ like home.”

* * *

Chapter 2