Helplessly Aware

By Charlie burton

Chapter 10

LATER that evening, and the songs were slowing and JC and Tara were swaying gently at the edge of the floor together. He held her securely in his strong arms, her head on his shoulder and arms wrapped loosely around his neck. His fingers caressed her back instinctively as they danced and he found himself humming quietly to the music. She looked even more beautiful than usual tonight, dressed in an exotic Chinese style dress with intricate gold embroidery and a slit that ran thigh high. Her hair was gathered in a twist and held with hairpins that sparkled with set diamonds.

“Words can’t describe how you look tonight, how you make me feel,” JC murmured to her.

“You’re gorgeous yourself,” Tara replied, running two spindly fingers down his cheek.

“I’m so happy that we’re together.”

“I wish we could spend more time together, just you and me. Some privacy.”

JC closed his eyes, “I’m trying to fix it, and I’ll spend as much time with you as I possibly can. You understand it’s hard with my schedule and commitments?”

“I guess. But you have a commitment to our relationship too,” she said quietly.

JC leant back a little and looked adoringly at her and his cerulean eyes gave inexpressible honesty. “I promise you, Tara.”

She smiled with her straight pearly teeth gleaming. “Good.” Placing a firm hand on his cheek, she kissed him fervently.

* * *

Justin, Joey, Lance, and Chris were moseying about on the court, taking a short break to chill out from the hectic shows. Grace wandered in, Jean shorts and a halter neck, with her hair flowing freely around her. In her arms she carried a pile of magazines that she dropped to the floor on reaching the guys.

“Have you seen these?” Grace asked.

“Teenybopper magazines?” Chris enquired. “Don’t read them, I more into the Beanie Baby collectors editions,” he teased.

“Funny Kirkpatrick,” Grace replied. “I’m serious.” She sat cross-legged beside the pile and opened the first one, flicking through the pages before turning it so the boys could see it. They had crouched down to see what Grace was talking about. The two-page spread showed a photo of herself and Justin dancing at the Hollywood bowl, and then a couple of JC and Tara kissing.

“Oooh dear,” Lance cooed. “Johnny’s gonna have a hell of a deal on his hands.”

“We’ve seen photo’s of us all arriving at the Bowl, us with our dates,” Justin added. “But not these.”

“Guess we weren’t the only ones at the party,” Chris remarked.

“Holy cow, you two really got the groove on, didn’t ya?” Joey exclaimed.

Grace and Justin glared at him.

“Sorry!” he whined.

“That’s not that point, dates, dancing, that’s all fine. It doesn’t say a lot,” Lance said intelligently. “It’s the kiss, that’s the hiccup.”

There was a momentary silence before Grace started opening all the magazines to pages that showed JC and Tara in a serious lip lock.

“Someone got paid a lot for those photo’s,” Chris said.

“Take a guess,” Grace asserted.

“Oz Guest,” Justin mused. “That dude from Arizona?”

“Uh-huh,” she replied. “He’s having a ball right now. The comments are worse. This one’s even got it as ‘front cover news’.” She scowled at the huge red headline: “Justin and JC – caught in a lip lock and with sexy dancing partner!”

“Hey, the world thinks you’re sexy,” Joey said excitedly. “I knew they’d love you!”

“Thanks Joe, you’re making me feel lots better. Where is JC anyway?”

“Off with Tara,” Chris grumbled.

“He spends every free moment with her and no one else, it’s not like him,” Grace said, looking around the four guys who all nodded.

“His performances are still high energy and no less than his very best, so it can’t be bad,” Lance informed.

“But he never hangs out with us!” Justin bit back. Lance shrunk a little and his olive-green eyes seemed hurt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I just miss him.”

“S’okay,” Lance replied. “I understand.”

“Well, he’s gonna have to be around this afternoon because Johnny wants me to start on your portraits,” Grace told them. She gathered up the magazines and stood up. “I’ll see you guys around.”

“Sure thang,” Lance called.

“Bye.”

JC was back just after lunch, Tara’s arm linked through his own and a Gucci bag hung from her wrist. Grace couldn’t help but roll her eyes and continue with what she was doing. Tara was immaculately turned out in a short skirt and expensive top, dark sunglasses and designer shoes. Grace felt scruffy in her worn shorts that she cut off herself and plain halter top, her hair untidy from helping out with the staging and preparations at the Rice Stadium.

Johnny took JC off to talk to him about the photo’s the magazines had got hold of and plastered worldwide, it seemed at this time. Tara gave Grace a look of disapproval as she breezed past while she was helping one of the techies. She bit back her tongue from saying anything; it wouldn’t help and would only be spiteful.

“Grace, could you set up with JC in one of the rooms upstairs, start on his portrait?” Johnny asked, walking over with JC behind him.

“Sure,” Grace replied. The techie assured her she could go and her and JC took the elevator up to their floor. He was silent and she knew he was thinking from the way his hands fidgeted in his pockets. “It’ll be all right,” she said softly.

JC looked up at her surprised that she noticed his agitated state. “I-I didn’t want things to get like this. I love my job, Grace and-”

“I know, Johnny knows, the world knows,” she cut in.

Her eyes were firm but understanding, not allowing him to take his eyes away from her.

“If you ever want to talk about anything, you can always count on me. I’ll always have time for you.”

“Thanks, that means a lot to me,” he murmured, tearing his eyes away as they exited the lift.

Once JC had cleaned himself up a bit, changed into an appropriate shirt and leather jacket and Grace had positioned him how she thought best, she started on the drawing. She’d stuck a Richard Marx Greatest Hits album in her portable CD player and the music played softly in the background.

Just for a while, won’t you let me shelter you?

“Just dip your head a little and turn your face left a fraction. That’s good,” Grace said, talking with her hands as well.

“Sure?” he asked.

She smiled. “Sure,” Grace repeated. Carefully she began sketching the rough outline of JC’s face – heart shaped, slender cheekbones, bottom lip slightly fuller than the top, innocent smile, soulful eyes, gentle eyebrows, and the list went on, she knew his face by heart.

Most of JC’s face was constructed by now, Grace had been hard at work for the most part of an hour and JC had sat patiently, occasionally chatting to her with the mellow music mellow and expressive voice of Richard Marx that they both loved dearly.

A smile stretched into JC’s lips and Grace glanced over her shoulder. Tara had entered the room, silent as a cat and groomed neatly in a new top. Grace averted her eyes back to her drawing and continued. She could feel Tara over her shoulder, watching the swift movements of the pencil.

“His nose is too big,” she commented. “And you’ve set the eyebrows too low.”

Drawing in a quiet but deep breath Grace carried on, Tara’s interpretations of her drawing were nagging at her and it was hard to get on with it when she kept checking to see if she had drawn his nose too big or eyebrows too low. Too her it looked like JC, and she didn’t want to change it. If Johnny didn’t like it, she’d do it again.

“You need to darken his eyes, and his lip-”

Grace had had enough. “Tara, please can you leave?”

“Excuse me?” Her eyes bore down on Grace, a few creases on her forehead caused by her raised eyebrows.

“I said I’d like you to leave. It’s not an easy task and I need all the concentration I can get,” Grace replied determinedly.

“You can’t just chuck me out like that.”

Grace wanted to look to JC for help, but she wasn’t going to put him in the middle of it. She closed her eyes briefly and turned back to JC and her drawing, not daring to look at him for what she might tell him through her eyes.

When I think that I’ve been true, to everybody else but me. Grace scowled at the lyrics. Tara became restless and started meandering about the room, looking at the small collection of photo’s that Grace had set beside her bed. She seemed to turn her nose up at everything and Grace feared that smoke was seething from her nose.

“What music is this?” Tara demanded, looking at JC and Grace.

“Richard Marx,” JC replied enthusiastically.

“Oh. How about something more cheerful?” Tara pushed stop and flipped through the few CD’s Grace had brought along with her. “REM, Hootie and the Blowfish…anything partyish?”

Grace just looked at her and then carried on drawing. Suddenly the radio blasted on and the airwaves crackled with a European dance tune. It echoed loudly through Grace’s head as she tried desperately to block it out and carry on with her drawing. She saw JC’s displeasure with the choice of music, but he didn’t say anything.

“Okay!” Grace cried out in frustration. “I’ve had enough, leave now.”

Tara jumped at Grace’s strong voice and she hit the radio off. “Fine, you know what, it’s getting dull in here. Maybe you should accept some constructive criticism for once, you never know it might be the thin line between succeeding and failing.” Tara said ‘failing’ with such a hard tone that Grace had to push back the tears that burnt her eyes. Tara left the room in a squall, slamming the door like a clap of thunder.

“I’m sor-” Grace began.

“Don’t apologize, Grace. I’m the one who’s sorry. She’s just stressed out coz she’s leaving tonight.”

Grace’s heart sank, no wonder Tara had wanted to stay with JC. She wouldn’t be seeing him for a while. “Oh.”

* * *