God Allows U-Turns
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By Allison Gappa Bottke,
It is sometimes difficult to see that God is paying even the
slightest attention when our lives are a mess. I mean, where is
He exactly when you really need Him? The God is great."
"God is good and all the other "God is terrific" stuff is hard
to find during times of turmoil and tragedy.
I know I did not think God was so "great" when my now
ex-husband was dragging me up a flight of stairs by my hair.
No way was God "good" when my bones ached from punches
and kicks, and my eyes burned from hot tears of despair and
fear.God did not seem so "terrific" when I stared into the
hate filled eyes of my husband as he held a knife to my throat
or a gun to my head and sneered, "If you scream one more
time I will kill you."
My parents divorced when I was young, having an
emptiness in my heart I could never understand. As
a teenager, I felt apart from girls my own age, and
I rebelled strongly against any and all authority.
I had given up on God long before I ran away at the
age of fifteen to marry the eighteen-year-old man who
in one year went from being the love of my life to my
abuser, jailer, kidnapper, rapist, and attempted
murderer. By the time I was "sweet sixteen" there
was no doubt in my mind--if God existed it was
certainly not in my world.
After the birth of my son and my son and my divorce,
both at the age seventeen, there was no room in my life
for anything but the here and now. Practical things
consumed me, like going back to school, working, child,
housekeeping, paying bills, and learning how to be a mother
I was so very lost.
I filled my days with busy, take-charge tasks. I filled
I filled my nights with alcohol, drugs and parties and self
destruction. I filled my soul with empty promises and emptier
pursuits. Over the years, another marriage and divorce,
several broken engagements, more than one abortion, and
frequent extreme weight gains and loses left me even more
emotionally crippled.
Why couldn't I find happiness? Why did it seem as though
nothing I did worked out? Why did I feel so worthless? The
feelings of utter helplessness, the unrealized dreams,
broken promises, and dead-end streets overwhelmed me.
One summer evening I was taking a walk in my neighbor-
hood when I noticed people going into the neighborhood
church. Suddenly my legs developed a mind of their own
virtually propelling me up the steps and through the
doors.
Alone in the church balcony, I looked toward the
pulpit and saw the statue of Jesus with outstretched hands,
looking right at me. Hot tears fell down my cheeks as
emotions I could not explain filled my heart and soul.
What was wrong? What was happening to me? Why was I
sitting in a strange church crying like a baby? When
the pastor began to speak, it was a message of being
lost, without direction, without hope, without faith
and how it did not have to be like that. He talked
of how we needed only to listen to the Holy Spirit
and ask the Lord Jesus Christ to come into our hearts,
and he would be there just like that.
My walk with the Lord started that day, a day that
forever changed the course of my life. Suddenly I wanted
to know more about this relationship with Jesus of which
the pastor spoke.
Over the next decade the world opened up to me in
way I could never have imagined. Opportunities,
experiences, and spiritual illuminations did not make
my life perfect, but it was life of healing and hope
a life of promise where before there had been empty
desolation. Psalm 71:20 says, Though you have made me
troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life
again; from the depths of the earth you will bring
me up"
And bring me up He did. Jesus Christ took my broken
spirit and my lost soul, filled with guilt and pain
and turned me around, setting me on a new course. He
filled that empty place in my soul I was so desperately
to fill with drugs, alcohol, relationships, material
goods,work, and empty pursuits. He forgave me the sins
that weighed heavy on my heart, showing me I no longer
had to carry the burden alone. He can do the same for
you.
I did not get religion. I got a relationship,-
a relationship with Jesus Christ. Second Corinthians
5:17 says it all: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ
he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has
come! Are you ready for a new life? No matter what
we have done, no matter where we have been,it is never
too late to change direction, because "GOD ALLOWS
U-TURNS
If you would like to turn your life around, pray
this simple prayer from the heart.
"Dear Heavenly Father, I have been going down the
the wrong road and I want to make a u turn
toward You. Thank You for giving Your Son as a
sacrifice for my sins, that I might not die but
have eternal life with You. Please forgive my
sins and come into my life. Fill me with Your
love and the power of the Holy Spirit. In Jesus
name...Amen...
Used By Permission. This piece can be found on
a Bible tract of the same title GOD ALLOWS U
Turns that can be found at this website
http://www.gnpcb.org
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