(The Scene fades at an arena that is jammed packed for the first ever IWF Holiday Havoc Pay-Per-Veiw. The lights go out and "One" by: Metallica blares across the arena. Pyros shoot up as the show comes on the air.)
Ed- Welcome all of you to the very first ever IWF PPV Holiday Havoc. This is Ed McPherson here and and along side me is Dick "The Dick" Mathews. We are getting set for high intensity of the IWF's first ppv.
Dick- Why do I have to be "The Dick"...You know I have feelings too Ed.
Ed- Because you ARE a dick, Dick...Feelings?...hmm... Well lets get to our first match.
Ed- Ahh i see. We have Jeff Hulk Hemp Vs Primetime in an regular singles match up.
(The lights in the arena go out. After a second or two they start flashing red and then "I am a real American" hits the pa system. The crowd jumps up with cheers as the pyro explodes every other second. When the smoke clears Jeff Hemp walks out wearing his traditional yellow trunks, blonde hair flowing across is face. He walks down the ramp and down to the ring where he slides into the ring. In the ring he goes to all four corners and looks at the crowd. Hul-Hemp steps down from the final corner and awaits for his opponent.)
Ed- Well Hemp is here. Lets get his opponent Primetime out here.
("Number 1" By: Nelly plays in the arena as the lights go out and five golden spotlights run up the ramp and circle around the entranceway. There is then a huge explosion and Mr. J and Prime are seen standing in the entrance way, Primetime condoning his white three peice suit and Mr. J looking very simalar standing aloft the stage. He walks to one side of the stage and flexes his arm muscles receiving temendous heat. He makes his way to the other side of the stage, tenses his stomach and rubs it with his hand. He slowly, confidently walks to the center of the stage and stops. He looks both ways and suddenly sprints to the ring. He walks cockily to the announce table and takes off his jewellery, hat, and cane and hands it to the time keeper. He then hops over the ropes and stands awaiting the bell)
Dick- Lets get this show moving.
Ed- There’s the bell. And this contest is underway.
(Jeff Hemp and Primetime lock up and Hemp wins the hold and whips Primetime into the ropes. Primetime comes back with a cross body that takes down Jeff Hemp. Jeff hopes up quickly and goes down hard with a right hand.)
Ed- What a right hand by Primetime.
Dick- It was perfect. Just perfect...
Ed- Shut up, nothing is perfect.
(Hemp gets back up and starts throwing his own right hands at Primetime. Primetime obviously startled by the sudden outburst by Hemp is caught off-gaurd. Hemp starts going all out on the bewildered Primetime. Jeff begins his assault as he backs up Primetime into the corner. Jeff Hemp runs at Primetime and hits him with a full body splash. He then picks him up for a scoop slam and puts him in the tree of woe. Hemp runs at him and attempts a drop kick to the head but straddles the steel pole.)
Ed- Holy shit. That will ruin his weekend.
Dick- The weekend is over you dipshit. Its Sunday night.
(Primetime gets down from the tree of woe and starts stomping away at the fallen Hemp. Jeff is up on his feet. Primetime picks him up and delivers a fall away suplex. He goes for snap suplex almost immediatly but it is reversed and Hemp hits him with a swinging neckbreaker.)
Ed- Nice reversal.
Dick- Definitely a perfect reveresal.
Ed- Dont get me going on that again...
(Hulk-Hemp goes outside the ring and grabs a steel chair. He goes back inside the ring and starts ripping away on Primetime with the steel chair. Hemp picks Primetime up and puts the chair down. He whips Primetime off the ropes and attempts a move but is instantly reveresed by the blood covered Primetime as he hits Jeff-Hulk-Hemp with a slapjack right onto the chair.)
Ed- Damn, that’s gotta hurt.
Dick-You think dipshit?
(Primetime goes for the cover. 1 - 2 -... Kick out right after 2. Primetime rushes to his feet and is followed shortly by Hul-Hemp. Primetime throws the light-headed Jeef-Hemp to the ropes as Primetime attempts a failing dropkick as Hemp slides underneath it. Hemp stomps on the fallin Primetime as he tries to get to his feet. An elbow...another elbow...a back spalsh all his accounted to by Hemp to his fallen opponant. Primetime's face is dripping of blood from the earlier chair-shots and looks exhausted. Hemp see's his oppurtunity to put this one away as he makes his way to the turnbuckle and begins to climb to the tope rope. Just as Jeff-Hulk-Hemp catapults his self of the top rope, Primetime climbes to his feet and catches Hemp in the air throwing him to his back and catching his feet as he applies a inverted boston crab.)
Ed- This one is over, there is Primetime's finisher "The Season Finale"!!
Dick- Jeff-Hulk-Hemp taps out and Primetime wont let go!
(Primetime finally lets go of Hemp's feet and slides under the bottom rope as he walks to the locker-room with Mr. J.)
Dick- Primetime is so cool...
Ed- You'd think so wouldn't you...
Dick- Yep...So our winner in the first ever IWF PPV match is Primetime via submission.
Ed- We will be right back after this short commercial break.
(A couple local advertisement commercials and a really cool Viagra ad is shown.)
[Back from commercial]
Ed: “We’re back folks, and we’re about to kick off our Hardcore title match between Static, Da MAB, and Medea. This should be a good one.”
Dick: “Hardcore. This is the way all the matches should be, Ed.”
Ed: “Yeah, the powerbombs and chokeslams aren’t brutal enough.”
Dick: “You said it, Ed. Here comes Da MAB.”
(Da MAB's music kicks up and he comes out, holding his barbed wire ball bat. He walks to the ring, swinging his bat menacingly. He climbs in the ring and stands in a corner, waiting. Static's music blasts over the PA and out he walks, carrying a obscure bowling trophy of some sort. He is wearing his Barkland U jersey. He runs on out to the ring, and is immediately attacked by Static who starts to lay the boots to him the second he climbs in the ring. As they are fighting, Medea Jane's music starts, and Medea runs out, carrying a kendo stick. Upon a quick observation, people can see her name is branded in it. She climbs in the ring and starts swinging like Barry Bonds. Static and MAB are dropped like bitches as Medea beats them down.)
(Then TDM's music kicks up and he runs out, carrying a chair from the back. All around the ring, trash cans, tables, ladders, signs, fire extinguishers, and the like are littered around the floor and in the ring. Static manages to pick up a parking sign and cracks Medea over the head, staggering her. Static is then clobbered by TDM with the chair, denting the chair. MAB dropkicks TDM, his feet connecting with the chair. The chair is driven into TDM's head, and he staggers back. Medea stands up a bit, then jabs the end of her kendo stick into the junk of Static, who is just standing. Static drops back down, curling in the fetal position. TDM is dropped like a rock by MAB, who swings his barbed bat into the midsection of TDM. Medea and MAB square off. MAB takes a baseball-like swing at Medea, who dodges it and lashes out with the kendo stick, striking Mab in the wrist. MAB drops the bat, clutching his wrist to his body in pain. Medea then kicks him in the gut, then smacks him repeatedly with the kendo stick. Outside, TDM and Static are brawling. Static decks TDM with a closed fist in the nose, spraying blood everywhere. TDM reels back and picks up a fire extinguisher. He sprays a bit of the contents into Static's face, causing Static to thrash around, dropping his trophy. TDM then promptly cranks Static over the head, knocking him cold. )
TDM drops for the cover...1...2..MEDEA WITH A BASEBALL SLIDEFROM INSIDE THE RING TO TDM'S HEAD! TDM falls to the floor, clutching his head as Medea starts beating the shit out of him with it. None of them see Mab up top...Mab leaps off the top holding his barbed wire ball bat! Medea turns and rolls out of the way just in time to avoid a forceful lobotomy. Mab starts swinging at Medea with his good arm, in which Medea ducks out of the way. TDM responds however with a superkick to Mab's mouth which sends blood spraying everywhere! Static is still out cold on the floor, anyone's game. Medea climbs back into the ring, still holding her kendo stick. Her stick is lashed to her hand with a leather strap, to prevent loss of it. Medea twirls the stick in her hand, by twirling her wrist. TDM mounts Mab's fallen form and starts to punch him hard, repeatedly as Mab writhes and thrashes. Static manages to come around to his feet and staggers over. He picks up his trophy and cranks TDM in the head hard with the trophy, breaking it. TDM falls on top of Mab, dazed as hell. Static quickly crawls back into the ring, not yet noticing Medea, who is directly behind him. Medea twirls her kendo stick a couple times. The fans erupt, knowing Static is in deep shit. Static slowly turns around. Medea smiles and flips him the bird, then with lightning speed, cracks him across the face with the kendo stick, damn near breaking the stick. Static falls, and is out cold again, his face most likely broken. The crowd chants: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! Mab slides out from underneath TDM, who is helpless on the floor, incoherent. He slides in the ring and attacks Medea, clotheslining her. Mab begins to lay the boots to Medea, kicking her in the chest repeated times before elbow-dropping her. Mab goes for the cover...1...2..kickout by Medea.)
(Mab growls and punches Medea in the head, staggering her. Medea blinks but lashes out instinctively with the kendo stick, and manages to crack him in the balls. Medea stands, as Mab is clutching his nuts. Static climbes to his feet full of blood and sneaks up slowly behind Medea…Just as he is about to do a small cradle from behind Medea turns around and swingls wildly at Static who then ducks and catches Medea with a hard clothesline. Static Picks up the stunned Medea Jane and throws her to the ropes, Medea slides under Staic's right hand and turns quicly only to be met with Medea Janes own finisher put on her self. Static just hit Medea Jane with her finsher!!!...BLIND FAITH!! OUT OF NOWHERE!! Static drops for the pin...1..2..3! )
Static is the Hardcore Champion!!!
Ed- What a hardcore match that was don't you think Dick?
Dick- Hence the Hardcore title being on the line…You are just unbelievable sometimes you know that…?
Ed- Yes, Yes, I know. But there is no time to flatter me Dick, we have Amber Vs Awesome Eric next and…
(Before Ed, could finish his sentence Amber comes to the ring to her music . She awaits for her oppenent. "Something Bad is gonna Happen" By: Fenix Tx hit`s the PA system and everyone cheers as Awesome Eric slowly makes his way to the ring. Eric steps into the ring and runs at an unaware Amber and clotheslines her over the ropes onto the outside...Eric leaps over the ropes to the floor and grabs Amber by the hair and starts landing short, hard rights to the forehead of the young woman... And finally drags her over to the steps and drills her head off them very hard..... Amber falls to the ground obviously dazed by the quick onslaught. )
Ed- Eric is really taking it to Amber isn't he?
Dick- I dont know where you got that from but to me it looks like Amber is just bidding her time...Of course she is getting her ass spanked...she's a girl aint she?
Ed- Oh shut up asshole, no one cares what you think.
(Eric picks up Amber and drops her overtop the steps as Amber lays on top of them to hold her balance... Eric yanks someone out of thier chair and waits on an unknowing Amber to turn around... He does so and as Eric swings, Amber quickly duck under the failing chair shot and turn around to meet Eric as he turns around to take another shot... Amber spinskicks the chair right back into the face of Awesome Eric...
Ed- What a reversal by Amber...see Dick, girls can do whatever guys can.
Dick- I'm sure you of all people would know.
(As Eric falls to the ground the chair lands across his face...Amber runs back a little bit and turns and runs toward a stunned Awesome Eric and does a Running Swanton across the chair overtop his face! Fans cheer uncontrollably as Amber jumps to her feet.... Amber then flings Eric's limp body into the ring... Amber is standing upon the apron as Awesome Eric is laying vertical towards Amber... Amber jumps up on the ropes turns horizontally in mid air and nails a flying leg drop across the face and chest of Awesome Eric...!
Dick- What a move that was...I haven't seen that move in all my years of wrestling.
Ed- Man, this is your first year having to do anything with wrestling...
Dick- I know, But what a move!
(Amber picks up the heavyweight and whips him into the ropes as she herself bounces off the opposaite ropes and attempts a flying cross body , it fails as Awesome Eric catches her in mid air and drops her straight down quickly into a powerslam.... Awesome Eric covers...1.....2....kickout! Eric stands and drags the young lady to the corner still sitting on her behind and proceeds to choke Amber with a big boot...
Ref counts....1...2...3..4....5....
"Break it off Eric!!"
(...tapping Awesome Eric on the shoulder and finally pulling him off of the battered woman.....Amber lays into the corner and tries to get up as Eric walks back over after arguing with the official..... Grabbing Amber and whips her into a snap suplex.....Eric moves toward the legs and cinches on a boston crab... Amber fights it... Trying to crawl to the ropes but Eric is just too much and pulls her back into the center of the ring....Amber is now screaming in pain as she pushes up with her hands and flips under Eric to try and get out.... Eric leans down as Amber punches him furisously into the gut and jaw....Eric breaks the hold and stumbles for a few seconds as Amber slowly gets up... Now with bad legs, she gets to her feet and limps over to Eric and attempts a powerslam but her legs give out from the boston crab's damage..... Eric gets up quickly... And sets Amber up into his modified "Awesome Driver".... But Amber reverses into a Hurricanrana! Amanda flips Eric over and holds the legs as the ref counts....)
1.....2...kickout!
(Eric breaks out and gets up quickly and nails Amber with a huge Spear! Amber seams to be out! As Eric gets up cocky because he knows he has plenty of time now to resource himself after the spear.... Awesome Eric walks over to the beaten youngster as surprisingly Amber catches Eric in an Inside Cradle! )
1...2...3!!
Dick- Its over!!...Amber wins it!
Ed- Yeah I know what a great match.I mean did you see some of the moves those guys, i mean guy and girl...where doing?
Dick- Yeah great match, but I was pulling for the loser.
Ed- Oh really, but you weren`t in the match.
Dick- Very funny.
Ed- No time to joke around now…we will be right back after this short commercial break…
(Some commercials show of the next months IWF PPV.)
[Back from commercial]
Ed: “We’re just about to kick off the Tag Team title match everyone, Awesome Eric and Primetime are already in the ring.”
Dick: “Here comes Medea and Amy.”
[Medea and Amy come running down to the ring to their music, and to cheers from the crowd. They both slide under the bottom rope without slowing up, and go right for Eric and Primetime.]
Ed: “They’re not wasting any time.”
[Medea heads for Eric, and Amy for Primetime. Medea takes the advantage on Eric, hitting him with a flurry of punches and kicks. She gets him into the corner and continues the punishment. On the other side, Amy has put Primetime into the corner as well, and is kicking him in the midsection, using the ropes for leverage.]
Dick: “Why hasn’t the ref broken this up? Is this guy slow or something?”
Ed: “No, that’s you, Dick. The match hasn’t started yet, there’s nothing he can do.”
[Medea whips Eric to the opposite corner, and Amy does the same to Primetime. They were directly across from each other, so Eric and Primetime go flying into each other, both of them landing in a heap in the middle of the ring. Medea picks up Eric and tosses him to the outside, then heads to her corner, leaving Amy alone with Primetime in the ring. The ref calls for the bell, and the match has begun.]
Ed: “Quite a showing from Medea and Amy to start this off. They seem to be able to work well as a team.”
Dick: “Shut up, Ed.”
[Amy gets Primetime up and whips him off the ropes. As he comes back, she catches him with a dropkick to the chest, taking him down again. Amy gets up and works the crowd, which gets Dick going more than anyone else.]
Dick: “Amy, do some jumping jacks! Or do some stretching! Touch your elbows behind your back!”
Ed: “Shut up, Dick.”
[Amy goes back to work on Primetime, stomping him a few times before the ref breaks it up. He pushes Amy back a few steps, giving Primetime a chance to make a tag to Eric. Eric jumps in and goes straight for Amy, seemingly rejuvenated from the earlier beating. Just as the ref steps away from Amy, Eric hits her with a spear. Amy didn’t see it coming, and paid the price. Eric picks her up, kicks her in the stomach, and delivers a DDT, sending Amy back to the mat. The two are wrestling in Amy and Medea’s corner though, so Amy just puts her hand up and Medea slaps it, making the tag. Medea jumps in and runs towards Eric, but Eric runs back at her and catcher her in the gut with a knee. He puts a camel clutch on her, but Medea is able to grab the rope.]
Ed: “Eric looks good, but is showing some rookie mistakes. He needs to know where he is in the ring before he puts a move like that on.”
[Medea gets up and blocks a punch from Eric. She counters with a chop across his chest, knocking him backwards. She sprints a couple steps towards him and hits him with a dropkick. Eric goes down and Medea starts to stomp him, but picks him up before the ref breaks it up. She gives him a vertical suplex and goes for the cover.]
{One…..Two…..}
[Eric kicks out, and Medea makes the tag, bringing Amy back in. She picks up Eric and whips him off the ropes. He runs back at her and ducks a clothesline attempt, and runs towards the far ropes. Rather than bouncing back towards Amy, he puts his arms over the top rope, holds himself from bouncing off, and falls to the corner where Primetime is standing. He makes the tag and rolls under the bottom rope. Primetime steps in, but Amy is ready for him and catches him with a spinning heel kick. Primetime gets up, but Amy starts throwing punches into his face before he can mount any type of attack. She gets him into the corner and throws a couple kicks to him, then gets him up so he’s sitting on the top turnbuckle. Amy steps up to the second rope, locks him up, and delivers a top rope superplex to Primetime, landing with an earth shattering blast as they hit the mat.]
Ed: “He’s lucky to be alive after that move. That might do it right there.”
[Amy goes for the cover…]
{One…..Two…..}
[Primetime kicks out. Amy wastes no time and walks over to the corner. She gets up to the top ropes and jumps off, doing a full flip in the air, landing an elbow on Primetime’s face.]
Ed: “Oh my god! Oh my god! What a move!”
Dick: “I’m gonna get a tape of that and sell it to an internet porn site.”
Ed: “You’re just a wonderful human being, Dick.”
[Rather than going for another cover, Amy picks Primetime up. He just stands there like a zombie, not able to defend himself. She picks him up in a vertical suplex, holds him straight up for a second, and then drops to her knee. She drops Primetime straight down in front of her, slamming his shoulder on to her knee. He falls to the mat, writhing in pain in his shoulder.]
Ed: “Spineshank! His shoulder could be broken!”
[Amy goes for the cover…]
{One…..Two…..Three}
Ed: “And that’s the match. There was no doubt there. Amy and Medea are your first tag team champions.”
Dick: “I think we need to institute a new rule. From now on, Amy is only allowed to wear that belt. We need to focus on the fact that she’s a champion.”
Ed: “So, I assume you’ll want Static to be naked, other than his Hardcore belt?”
Dick: “Let’s not get carried away here.”
Ed: “We’ll be right back folks.”
[Cut to commercial.]
McPherson: And welcome back to what has already been
a record breaking first PPV for the IWF. What do you
think of these screaming fans Dick?
Matthews: I think that 18 year old girl over there
has a nice rack. She's been flashing her umm assets all
night long .
McPherson: Do you think you could control your raging
hormones for five minutes and help me call this
match!?
Matthews: (Gives Ed a blank stare) Of course not and
I'll thank you to leave my raging hormones out of
this.
McPherson: (Sighs) The first man scheduled to come
down to the ring is one half of one of the Iwf's
hottest tag teams Apocalypse.
Matthews: Damn she is hot! I wonder if she has a
boyfriend?
McPherson: For Christ sake Dick! She's jailbait!!
She's not 18 she's more like 15! And 15 will get you
20!!
(Then suddenly the lights go out, and a red spot light moves to the entry way as "Sick of Life" by Godsmack hits. The crowd begins booing, and yelling insult at the empty stage. A couple minutes pass and still no Apocalypse, the crowd begins to quiet down and the ref shrugs his shoulder. Just as everyone thinks Apoc is a no show he comes out of the crowd, and slides into the ring. Apocalypse is no longer wearing the eye patch, and a swollen red eye is seen.)
McPherson: Now that man is a hell of an athlete but
he chalks up a big zero in the people skills category.
Matthews: Personally Ed I dont think he cares which
is why he's my number 1 pick for tonight's Us Title
match!
(Apocalypse steps into the ring and waits with
restrained patience as the ref pats him down for
weapons the lights go dim again but to everyones
surprise South Texas Deathride by Union Underground
begins to blast over the PA system as Payne steps out
from behind the curtain)
McPherson: Its Payne! But hes not scheduled to be
here until his World Title match whats going on?
Matthews: I dont know but hed better lay off my boy
Apocalypse!
(Payne makes his way slowly down the ramp pausing to
shake the hands of the fans,this seemingly enrages
Apocalypse who is now mouthing silent obscenities at
Payne and motioning for the ref to get Payne out from
ringside.)
(Payne smiles glancing up at Apoc as he walks slowly
around the ring. Apocalypse turns watching him every
step of the way, their eyes meet and they dont break
their gazes till Payne sits down at ringside next to
McPherson and Matthews)
McPherson: Payne! Welcome to ringside, but what are
you doing out here?
(Payne reaches for a headset and puts it on.)
Payne: I thought I'd come down here and try my hand
at announcing
McPherson: And I suppose the fact Apocalypse being
out here at the same time you chose to come down is
mere coincidence?
Matthews: Shut up Ed! Let the man speak, he came down
here to grace us with his presence that's all…isn't
that right Payne?
Payne (Chuckles) I like you're style Dick, it's easy
to see who wears the pants in this announcers business
( As McPherson mutters to himself the lights go dim
again as Medea makes her way out to the stage, in her
hands is here traditional Kendo stick she has taken to
carrying around, she raises it over her head and the
crowd roars knowing that when Medea brings her Kendo
Stick someone is bound to get hurt, she makes her way
down the ramp and pauses staring Apocalypse in the
eyes)
(Apocalypse shakes his head and yells to the ref to
get rid of the Kendo Stick, pointing at Medea he shakes
his head again)
(Medea grins and blows a kiss at Apocalypse, then
taking a few swings with the Kendo stick she flips him
the bird.)
McPherson: You know someday she's going to take
someone's head off with that thing
Payne: That woman has guts, she's going to do great
things for the IWF
Matthews: You said it Payne!
(As Tim Harris makes his way out onto stage Medea lays
her Kendo stick aside and slides into the ring, Harris
pauses atop the ramp and takes a moment to soak in the
cheers from the audience)
McPherson: Theres a man who very well may be in the
rankings for the World Title one day, ¦what do you have
to say about the future compitition Payne?
Payne: Tims a good guy he seems to hate Genocide and
Apocalypse as much if not more then I do and I think one
day he and I would make a good tag team perhaps good
enough to take the belts even
(Meda leans up against the ropes watching Harris make
his way down to the ring, Apocalypse sees his chance
and runs at her bringing his hands down on her head in
a vicious axe handle smash that sends her bouncing off
the ropes and to the matt. Apocalypse follows up with
several boots to the ribs yelling at her about her
previous attack with the Kendo Stick and pointing to
his eye while delivering each boot. Tim sees this and breaks into a run he quickly
scales the turnbuckle and leaps off delivering a
missile dropkick to the back of Apocalypses head,
Apoc is sent to the mat and Tim begins to deliver
boots to his head.)
The ref signals for the bell
Matthews: Finally we can get this match underway!
McPherson: This is the first ever IWF United States
Title match!! Here we go folks!
Payne: May the best man or woman win
Apocalypse lunges forward and spears Tim to the
ground only to be met by a fierce punch to the face by
Medea as he gets to his feet, he staggers back cursing
and trips and falls as Harris sticks his leg out
Harris gets to his feet and suddenly grabs Medea he
spins her around and throws her at the ropes as hard
as he can, As she bounces of the ropes Apoc gets to
his feet, Tim drops on his hands and knees as Medea
nears him the crowd gasps as Medea bounces and jumps
off Tims back and flys through the air, her legs wrap
around the neck of Apocalypse sending him flying to
the other side of the mat with a perfectly executed
Hurricurana.
McPherson: Amazing teamwork by Tim Harris and Medea!!
Payne: Indeed, Apocalypse is certainly using his
head…to block her punches that is
Matthews: Good one Payne! Heh heh
McPherson: (coughs into his hands)
coughcoughSUCKUPcoughcough
Matthews: Wha? What did you say?
Meda helps Tim to his feet, Tim looks her in the eye
and then nods his head in thanks, the two shake hands
and then begin to circle each other.
McPherson: Looks like these two have a mutual respect
for each other but they both understand that only one
of them can walk away with the gold
Harris lunges but Medea drops to her knees and flips
him over in a firemans carry flipping him to the
mat, she follows up with an arm lock and Tim cringes in
pain but manages to get his foot to the ropes, the ref
signals for Medea to release the hold and she does
Medea stands up and turns around to check on
Apocalypse only to be met by a crushing boot to the
face that sends her head snapping back, she falls to
the mat
McPherson: My god he may have broken her neck!!
As Harris is getting to his knee's he's met by a rib
crushing boot to the ribs that sends him rolling out
of the ring, he holds his ribs as he bounces off the
mat outside the ring, Apoc follows him out through the
ropes as the ref begins the 10 count as Apocalypse picks
up Harris by the hair and drags him over to the
announce table
Matthews: Here comes Apoc!
McPherson: But whats he going to do?
Apocalypse flips Payne the bird and smashes Tim face
first into the announce table. Then grabbing him by the
hair he does it again, mouthing obscenities to Payne
who only sits still and grins, Harris slumps to the
floor.
Realizing the ref has almost reached 10 Apoc rolls
back into the ring and then rolls back out walking
over to Harris he picks him up and knees him in the
gut. Once, twice, three times then drops him like a sack
of potatoes
Apocalypse raises his hands over his head and then
begins to rip up the protective mat around the outside
of the ring revealing cold hard unforgiving cement
underneath, he picks up Harris and signals for the
pile driver.
McPherson: Christ hell break tims neck!
Meanwhile in the ring Medea has gotten to her
feet seeing what's going to happen outside the ring
she realizes she has little time running towards the
ropes she flips her body into a swanton bomb over the
ropes, her momentum carries her outside the ring over
the ropes and crashing into the two men below
McPherson: DID YOU SEE THAT!!
Payne: Holy shit!!
Matthews: If her neck isn't sore after that boot from
Apoc then it sure must be now!
The ref looks at the carnage outside the ring and
restarts the 10 count, Harris stirs and begins to get
to his feet, he kicks Apocalypse in the ribs and then
staggers over to Medea. Picking her up gently he rolls
her into the ring, after delivering another boot to
Apoc he climbs into the ring
McPherson: Payne you've been pretty quite
tonight what are you waiting for?
Meanwhile Apoc struggles getting to his feet as Payne
grins
Payne: I've been waiting for an
opportunity… Ed, Dick…its been a blast but I've got
some business to attend to…
Taking off the headset Payne jumps over the announce
table and tackles Apoc to the ground, he raises his
hand in the air and then begins to punch the fallen
body of Apocalyps targeting the eye that Medea had
struck earlier.
The crowd roars out counting out each punch as it
lands
1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10
Payne stands up and yanks Apocalypse up by the
hair as Apoc now sporting a bloody gash above his eye
that looks like its swelling shut as he rolls Apoc into
the ring and then hops the guard rail disappearing
into the crowd
McPherson: OH MY GOD!!
Matthews: Bout time we saw some blood!!
Meanwhile back in the ring Tim Harris dropped down
and covered Medea
1..2..
AT the last second Medea kicks out, Harris shoves her
back down and again goes for the cover
1..2..
Again she kicks out…Tim shakes his head and pulls her
to her feet setting her up in the turnbuckle he runs
across the ring and bounces off the ropes, charging
Medea's unprotected body in the corner but at the last
moment she moves out of the way and Harris runs full
speed into the turnbuckle.
Waisting no time Medea springs into action she flips
over the ropes and grabs Harris's legs while wrapping
her legs around his arms then putting on the pressure
she holds herself and harris against the ropes
Dick- He's gonna tap…that’s the Tarantula!!!
Ed- There he goes he's tapping!!!
Tim Harris throws his arms in every direction screaming in vicious pain as the ref calls for the bell…
Dick- and your winner and U.S champion…Medea Jane!!!
Ed- We will be right back…
[Scene cuts to commercial.]
[Back from commercial.]
Ed: “Folks, we’re supposed to see Cain face off against Kagera Nakoruru next, but I just received word from Mr. Sanders that the match won’t be taking place. Cain will be proclaimed the winner by forfeit, because Kagera has been fired from the IWF. He has said we’ll receive an explanation, as well as a tribute to Kagera, as well as some of her associates, within the next few days. We’ll be looking forward to that. Instead, we’re going to go straight to the main event, the World Title match between Payne and Genocide.”
Dick: “Time to kick it off. Here comes Genocide!”
[Genocide’s music hits, “People=Shit” by Slipknot, and the crowd breaks into an explosion of boos. He comes out from the back, wearing his HeVyweight championship belt (the stop sign turned into a belt). Some people even begin to throw objects at him, hotdogs, sodas, batteries, water bottles, and someone even ventures to throw a vibrator as him. However, little do they realize, Genocide is enjoying every second of it, since no one has good enough aim to actually hit him. He walks down to the ring, smiling and waving at his ‘fans,’ and steps in. He awaits Payne.]
Ed: “What a welcome he got from the fans.”
Dick: “It’s not his fault they’re idiots.”
[“South Texas Deathride” by Union Underground hits, and Payne, walks out from the back, getting a very different response from the fans. They begin to explode with cheers, even louder than usual. Even the people who aren’t big Payne fans are cheering, because everyone hates Genocide. Payne stands at the top of the ramp for a minute, taking in the cheers, and then walks quickly down the ramp, strutting confidently. He steps up the stairs, gets into the ring, and the bell sounds.]
Ed: “Here we go, this should be a great one.”
[The two start it off by locking up. Genocide heads right for his usual tactics, eye gouging Payne before Payne has a shot to attempt a move. Genocide goes to throw a punch at him, but Payne blocks it and returns a punch of his own. Genocide is knocked back a little, but doesn’t seem to be affected much. The two stare each other down again, and Payne charges at Genocide. Genocide, tries to clothesline Payne, and Payne tries the same on Genocide. They both connect, and both are knocked to the mat. Both men get up quickly, and Genocide reaches to attempt a headlock. Payne counters and hits a hip toss on him, drawing a cheer from the crowd. Genocide isn’t down long though, but Payne is ready. Payne whips him off the ropes as he stands up, and Genocide comes running back at him and goes for a spear. He connects head on with Payne, knocking Payne backwards and down to the mat. Genocide gets up and throws his arms in the air like he just won the match. The crowd boos, bringing a smile to Genocide’s face. Payne is up quicker than he thought, and as Genocide turns around, he catches a boot in his stomach from Payne. Payne DDTs him, getting cheers from the crowd, and putting Genocide down for a minute. Payne picks him up, rears back and throws a haymaker into Genocide’s face. Genocide goes back down, and Payne works the crowd. They get louder and louder every second, cheering and chanting.]
Dick: “Shut up! Shut up! You know Genocide is gonna win! Why don’t you people go back to your trailer parks?”
Ed: “…”
[Genocide is standing up, and Payne walks over to him to try and put him away. Genocide has other idea, and delivers a low blow to Payne, who doubles over in pain. Genocide gets up, looking a little tired, and picks him up into a vertical suplex, but drops straight down after a short pause, hitting a stalling brain buster. The air seems to come out of the crowd, as the momentum swings in Genocide’s direction.]
Dick: “That’s true wrestling skill. He’s able to turn a bad situation into his advantage.”
Ed: “By cheating.”
Dick: “Did anyone ask you?”
Ed: “I was-“
Dick: “I didn’t think so.”
[Genocide stomps him a few times and then picks him up. He throws a few punches into Payne, who seems to still be affected by the low blow, even more than the brainbuster. He punches Payne back into the corner and knees him a couple times in the gut. Genocide then puts on a DDT, but hooks one of Payne’s legs as he falls backwards and immediately turns it into a pin.]
Dick: “Cradle DDT! That should do it!”
{One…..Two…..}
[Payne kicks out, barely. Genocide glares at the ref, but heads back over to the corner, leaving Payne in the ring. He ascends to the top turnbuckle and jumps off, doing a full flip in the air and landing his leg on Payne’s chest.]
Dick: “Not many heavyweights can do something like that.”
[Genocide makes the cover…]
{One…..Two…..Thr-}
[Payne kicks out again, and Genocide flips on the ref for a slow count.]
Genocide: “What the fuck is wrong with you, bitch!?! Was your mother too inbred to teach you to count past two?”
[The ref just stands there in silence.]
Genocide: “I guess she was, and she couldn’t teach you how to talk, either. You stupid fucker.”
[Genocide turns around to go back to work on Payne, but Payne has rolled out to the outside, getting a rest while he can. Genocide looks down, pissed off at his mistake, and runs full speed at the ropes. He does a baseball slide right under the bottom rope, taking aim at Payne’s head. Payne ducks, however, sending Genocide straight over him and into the barrier between the fans and the ring area. Payne picks him up and puts Genocide’s head between his legs. He flips him up and powerbombs him, with Genocide landing with a loud splat. Payne picks him up before he has a chance to rest and rolls him into the ring.]
Ed: “What a move! And what a turnaround!”
Dick: “He just got lucky, Genocide missed with that baseball slide. It would have been over.”
Ed: “But it’s not.”
Dick: “Yes, you’re very observant. You can tell when a wrestling match is taking place. You want a medal or something?”
[Payne follows closely behind Genocide and goes for the cover…]
{One…..Two…..}
[Genocide kicks out, and Payne picks him up. Payne grabs him around the throat, looking for a chokeslam, but Genocide doesn’t let him. He locks up his legs with Payne’s and throws a punch into Payne’s nose, drawing a little blood. Payne, stunned that Genocide had the energy to counter him, is caught completely off guard. Genocide takes advantage and throws a few more punches at Payne, and then hits a burning hammer, a reverse DVD. Genocide stands over Payne, pausing to look around for a second. He reaches down in his pants and pulls out a jockstrap. The crowd screams, and gets ready to run away from wherever it may land. Genocide throws it into the crowd, scattering people from that area, and then runs off the ropes. He comes back over Payne, off the other ropes, and back to Payne. He does a mock jerk off motion, and then drops an elbow to Payne, following it up with a pin…]
Dick: “Masturbation elbow! The greatest move ever!”
Ed: “Are you saying you enjoy watching men touch themselves?”
{One…..Two…..Thr-}
[Payne kicks out at the last second and Genocide picks him up, not making the mistake of wasting time by insulting the ref again. He whips Payne off the ropes, and sticks a boot up in the air as Payne comes back. Payne dodges it though and grabs Genocide’s throat as he keeps running. He just pulls Genocide with him, taking him down by the throat. He puts a choke hold on for a few seconds, before picking him back up. In an attempt to finally finish the match, he executes his finisher, ‘Bring the Payne,’ and follows it up with a cover on Genocide.]
{One…..Two…..Three}
Ed: “Payne is your first IWF World Champion!”
Dick: “No way! That was a fast count!”
Ed: “It’s official now, nothing anyone can do about it.”
[The ref raises Payne’s arm and hands him the World Championship belt. Payne raises it over his head, and the crowd explodes with cheers.]
Ed: “Good night everyone, thanks for tuning into Holiday Havoc.”
{FADE OUT}
(I just wanna say, Charles and Jeremy, great job to both of you. This was easily the hardest choice Mike and I have had to make so far in picking a winner. Even after we decided, I still went back a couple more times to look everything over, because it was so close. Great job, I’m sure you two will see each other again.)
(Here's the Canadian title match. I'm posting it at the bottom due to pure laziness)
McPherson: Well ladies and gentlemen…Up next we have
the Canadian title match with Amy, Josh Nelson and
Static…Will Amy keep her belt? Only time will tell
Matthews: Oh for crying out loud, you sound like some
idiot from a soap opera
McPherson: Will you knock it off with the snide
comments and lets get this match underway?
The bickering between the two was cut off as Josh
Nelson’s music began to play over the sound
system…Waving once or twice to the crowd he received
mostly boos in return….He stood leaning up against the
far side of the ring as “Left Behind” by Slipknot
began to play and Static made his way out and down the
ramp to a course of boos…as he walks by one of the
cameras he flips the television viewers the double
bird….
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen….Your Canadian
Champion….AMY!!!
“Brackish” by Kitty began to play…after about 30
seconds or so Amy still had not made her
appearance….Josh and Static looked at each other and
smiled…..Had the Canadian Champ chickened out?
McPherson: Where’s Amy?
Matthews: Maybe she decided that Josh and Static were
the better wrestlers and she’s gone back to the
kitchen where women belong….
McPherson: Did anyone ever tell you Matthews that you
are a chauvinist?
Matthews: Yes, my mother did actually right before I
told her to get her ass back in the kitchen and make
me some pie
McPherson just shakes his head before looking up at
the rafters….Suddenly a blur comes flying over the
barricade just to the right of where Matthews
sits…doing a baseball slide into the ring behind Josh
and Static Amy knocks both of them down with a double
clothesline….As the referee rings the bell Amy is in a
crouched position waiting for the first man to get to
his feet, the first man being Static is suddenly sent
into the ropes as Amy spears him, Josh is quickly to
his feet, wrapping both arms around Amy’s waist and
pulling her away from Static he tosses her aside like
a rag doll so that he can beat on Static himself…Not
even two minutes into the match Josh goes to cover
Static and gets the two count before Amy throws
herself on top of them both, breaking the count….
McPherson: That was close, Amy almost lost her title
there….
Matthews: The game is not over yet….and she will lose
her title…..to the better man….
McPherson: And who is the better man…..Oh Static is
going to be feeling that kick in the morning……
The camera pans back to the ring in time to see Static
crumple to the ground and Amy hook his leg for the
three count, but is interrupted by Josh who grabs Amy
by the hair…..Static staggers to his feet and both men
look down at Amy who is still on her knees, held there
by Josh….they both pull back to punch her in the face
but not quickly enough as Amy delivers a double low
blow
Matthews: And there go static’s chances of ever
having children
McPherson: My god can you imagine Static having kids?
McPherson and Matthews look at each other a moment
before shuddering involuntarily and turning back to
the ring
Amy begins to deliver boots going back and forth
between the two fallen men…she then helps them both up
by the hair…pulling back she introduces their heads to
one another at a high speed…there is a loud crack! As
their heads collide and they fall to the ground
McPherson: Good way to stir up the bats in those
empty heads
Amy grins triumphantly and steps up on both their
chests for the three count…but before the ref hits too
both static and nelson lift up and throw Amy off their
chests…she flies through the air and lands on her
chest hard…her hands immediately go to her ribs and
she cries out
Matthews: And Any pays the price for being cocky…a
side effect of having no grey matter between the ears
means static and nelson wont be down long after their
heads are brought together
Static and Nelson grin at each other, Nelson motions
for Static to pick her up..but as Static moves forward
nelson brings his hands down on his head from behind
with a vicious axe handle smash that sends Static to
the mat
McPherson: Well that partnership lasted for all of 5
minutes…
Static growls and jumps to his feet…apparently he’s
veteran at taking blows to the head…he flips nelson
the bird and then motions for nelson to hit him again
Matthews: That crazy bastard actually wants more!
Nelson grins and pulls back smashing Static in the
head…the force of the blow whips his head around…but
static turns back with a grin and a trickle of blood
running down his lip…he again motions for nelson to
bring it
McPherson: Incredible! He wants more!
Nelson shrugs and then delivers another crushing blow
to static’s jaw…he backs off shaking his hand, Static
shakes his head and grabs nelson by the shoulders,
pulling him in close to him he begins to smash his
head into Nelsons face repeatedly…the crowd chants
along
1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10!!!
Nelson falls to the ground his face a mess of
blood…Static stands in the center of the ring swaying
on his feet, he raises his hands over his head and
cheers himself but suddenly he’s grabbed by the
shoulders and swung around…he comes face to face with
Amy…she draws her fist back and lets fly…the blow
lands with a loud CRACK and static hits the ground
like a sack of potatoes
McPherson: That’s what this match needed…a woman’s
touch
Matthews: That’s whay I told your mom I needed last
night Ed…
McPherson: You leave my mother out of this….
Matthews: Touchy are we?
Amy stands there taunting both guys to come and get
her, as they both stagger towards her she delivers a
stunning double DDT…deciding to give her opponents and
herself a momentary break Amy favors her ribs as she
perches on the top turnbuckle trying to take deep
breaths…Static and Nelson have some how managed to get
to their feet….they corner Amy and while Nelson holds
her, Static delivers a series of blows all over her
body….
Static: That’ll teach you to mess with a man bitch!
Amy: (lifting her head) I see no men in this ring!
She hisses as she spits in his face before throwing
her head backwards, she knows it connected with its
intended target when she hears the crack of Nelson’s
nose and him falling backwards against the ring
post…As she turns around to look at Nelson, Static
grabs her by her hair spinning her back to face him
and proceeds to begin the beating anew….Soon enough
Nelson joins in and they have her cowered in the
corner and beating the snot out of her
The ref moves in and tries to break it up…but a
flailing elbow catches him in the face and sends him
flying from the ring…to the surprise of the crowd a
hand reaches out from under the ring and drags the ref
under…after a few moments another man comes out clad
in the ref’s shirt…he slides into the ring
Matthews: Who the hell is that? And why is he wearing
a mask?
The mas covers the mans face as he stalks towards the
corner…his hand shoots out and grabs Static…he
delivers three punches to his gut and 4 to his head
then throws his uncocncious body down to the mat….he
then taps josh nelson on the back…
Josh turns around and jumps…the look on his face is
as if he’s seen as ghost…and though not everyone knows
it Josh has seen a ghost…someone he hasn’t seen in
awhile…The man takes off a pair of green sunglasses
and tosses them aside before grabbing Josh by the
scruff of the neck and throwing him across the ring
with such force that he goes through the ropes
Josh hits the mat hard and lands on his neck…he
twitches for a moment then lays still
Matthews: What the hell? Who the hell?
McPherson: Why the hell?
The “ref” turns to Amy slumped in the turnbuckle…he
gazes at her a moment then reaches out and gently
pulls her from the corner…kneeling he places her over
the body of the fallen Static and begins the count
1…2…3!!
Matthews: There you have it folks! The winner and
still retainer of the Canadian Title! Amy! But who the
hell is that in the ring?
The Ref stands up in the middle of the ring…he
removes the ref jersey to reveal a black shirt
underneath which reads in bold green letters “THE
SICKNESS LIVES!!”
He then bends down over the fallen body of Amy and
raises her head…she opens her eyes and blinks wearily
The man reaches up and pulls the mask from his
face…revealing a visage that are all too famliar to
some
McPherson: Oh my god it’s Rancid!
Matthews: Who the hell is Rancid?
McPherson: He’s known all around the streets and
several Efeds as a hardcore brawler…and up until
recently he was a love interest of Amy! They said his
face was scarred…but he looks as young and healthy now
as he ever did
Rancid leans in and kisses Amys forehead gently…Amys
eyes widen and she passes out…due to the shock or
maybe the punishment she abosorbed throughout the
night
Rancid lays Amy back down on the mat and stands up,
he quickly exits the ring to the chants of “Down With
the Sickness” and “The sickness lives”
McPherson: Folks we’re going to go to a commercial
break and then try to figure out what the hell just
happened!!