Your characters are stupid --
Oh, wait, they're just like you!
You make these plans you think are grand,
But never think them through.
Kill the King, annoy the orcs,
Insult the druid's trees...
When you get disemboweled,
Don't you dare whine to me.
You think that it's inspired
To play the other sex;
You roll your dice but don't think twice
About what's coming next.
What part of 'consequences'
Can't burrow through your brain?
Well, after you've been slaughtered,
I'll just sing this refrain:
Rocks fall, everybody dies;
Death comes raining from the skies.
Whine whine whine, well, thank you all for sharing.
You say I'm not being fair --
Hey, wait, am I supposed to care?
Whine whine whine, look at me not caring!
Your motivation's lacking;
Your concept's uninspired.
Please go away, you shouldn't play
Once your brain's been retired.
Hack and slash and politics
Are bad things to combine.
You want to play things your way?
Well, tough, we're playing mine.
I want my players thinking.
I want your brain engaged.
You whine and cry then wonder why
I'm getting so enraged.
You're telling me I need you;
Well, moron, here's the thing.
The smart folks have umbrellas,
And all of us can sing:
Rocks fall, everybody dies;
Death comes raining from the skies.
Whine whine whine, well, thank you all for sharing.
You say I'm not being fair --
Hey, wait, am I supposed to care?
Whine whine whine, look at me not caring!
Yes, rocks fall, everybody dies,
I don't care how much you cry,
Whine whine whine, hey, moron, what's the matter?
Yes, I guess you'd better run --
Hey, I'm finally having fun!
Whine whine whine, watch the morons splatter!
Extra Bit: Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women
*Motorcycle curves never sag.
* You can ride a motorcycle any day of the month.
* Motorcycles don't whine unless something is REALLY wrong.
* You can kick your motorcycle to wake it up.
* You can share your motorcycle with friends.
* Motorcycles don't care how many other motorcycles you have ridden.
* When riding, you and your motorcycle ALWAYS arrive at the same time.
* If your motorcycle is too loose you can tighten it.
* You can drink beer and ride your motorcycle.
* If you say things to your motorcycle you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
* Motorcycles won't insult you if you are a bad rider.
* Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
* You don't have to take a shower before riding your motorcycle.
* If you get a new motorcycle you don't have to keep sending money to the old one.
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