Nightmare in Tokyo

Midorino Mizu

Disclaimer: Tennis no Ohjisama and all associated characters are the property of Konomi Takeshi.

Author’s Notes: And sometimes, I have the urge to write something that’s pure crack.

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Somewhere in Tokyo…

The fumes that had been filling the rooms intensified slightly, making Yanagi Renji look up from his copy of Tale of the Genji, and glance over at the boy sitting next to him.

Fuji Syusuke was reading Machiavelli’s The Prince. Personally, Renji didn’t think he really needed Machiavelli’s assistance.

“I think he’s done,” Rikkai’s strategist said.

“Mmm,” murmured Fuji as he absently turned the page. “Quite likely. Did he ever decide…?”

Renji nodded.

Fuji looked up, pinning the Rikkaidai Fuzoku student with a laser-blue stare. “And?” he prodded.

Renji lifted one shoulder in an unconsciously elegant shrug. “And I don’t divulge the data I gather in …questionable circumstances.”

“Ahh.” Fuji nodded, his features settling into his usual close-eyed smile. “Inui is the same way.”

“Of course he is,” said Renji.

“I taught him everything he knows.”

Fuji would have inquired as to whether these lessons extended to areas beyond tennis, except that Inui Sadaharu chose that moment to make his entrance.

He was accompanied by a cloud of sparkly purple smoke.

“Well,” he said. “It was a success.”

His pronouncement was met with expectant silence. Well, expectant on Fuji’s part.

If Renji didn’t know all the details he was about to divulge, Inui would have been sincerely shocked.

“Renji and I will be having a boy.”

“He will be a truly formidable force,” stated Fuji as he closed the covers of his book. “I will, of course, do my part as a surrogate uncle.”

“Thank you, Fu – Renji, what are you doing?” Inui gave his longtime best friend a look.

Yanagi Renji looked up his cell phone. “Hmm? Oh, I’m calling Yukimura.”

“What on earth for?”

“I promised I’d let him know,” Renji stated calmly.

“Besides,” he added as Yukimura’s cell phone began ringing. “He promised to give the baby lessons on how to manipulate the surroundings while appearing absolutely angelic.”

Fuji raised an eyebrow. “I can do that,” he said.

He heard chuckles from the other two. “What?” he asked, slightly affronted. “I can.”

“Fuji,” began Inui. “No one believes that you’re the epitome of innocence and light, not after they’ve really seen you play tennis.

“Yukimura, however,” he continued, “can still pull it off. And does, regularly.”

“Oh.”

“Ah, Seiichi,” Renji said as his boyfriend picked up the phone. “Good news. It’s a boy.”

He listened for a moment as Yukimura softly asked him a question. “Ah, let me check.”

He turned to Inui. “Will it be a normal incubation period, Sadaharu?”

Inui managed to look horrified despite his glinting eyeglasses. “Good God, no. What do you think I am? Three months, on the outside.”

“Three months,” reported Renji. He paused again. “Yes, I’ll be home soon. I love you, too.”

Fuji and Inui managed to not look sickened by the display of affection, especially since it could have conceivably been worse. Yukimura, at least, was supportive of his boyfriend’s Evil Plots.

What if, for instance, he’d fallen in love with Ohtori Choutarou? All of their plans would have been for naught.

They suppressed convulsive shudders. The very idea…horrifying.

Meanwhile, Somewhere in Kanagawa…

Sanada Genichirou abruptly sat up in bed, sweat trickling down his brow.

His boyfriend muttered incoherently before squinting up at him.

“Something wrong, Genichirou?” murmured Atobe Keigo as he sat up, raking his hair from his face.

“Nightmare,” said Sanada curtly.

“What was it about?” asked Atobe. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Sanada shook his head. “Renji,” he started. “Renji and Inui were having a…a baby.”

Atobe paled. “That’s…horrifying,” he said.

“And,” continued Sanada. “Fuji Syusuke was there! And they called Yukimura!”

He turned to his boyfriend. “Hold me, Keigo. I’m scared.”

Atobe made soothing noises. “There, there,” he said. “It was only a dream.

“Just a dream.”