Nanami blinks and mercifully graces the newcomer with her attention. Her eyes narrow menacingly, "I don't see why you can't just stay away from Him, but since you want to know everything about my Oniisama, you've come to the right place.'

Becka and Karen burst in. Karen wears a traditional conquistador outfit, holding a rubber chicken threateningly. Becka, on the other hand, is dressed in… how shall we say, "special" clothes. She is wearing a full suit of armor with a pink tutu around her waist along with a double-edged blade. Topping off her helmet is a bright pink plume. As her impressive medieval armor glimmers temptingly, there is a desperate, frenzied cry of "MY SHINING THING!" Karen quickly slams the door shut as Nanami peers on with curiosity. There is a splattering *thump* from the other side of the door. Becka sighs in relief… and falls flat on her face under the weight of all that steel.

Karen glares at Nanami, "We *NEVER* get to the point that quickly!" There is a discreet cough and Nanami quirks a brow. "So I see." Becka is about to say something when… she is flattened under the Akio car as it bursts through a balcony. (How it got there, we have no idea). Becka mutters from under the car, "I'd recognize those tires anywhere…" Fortunately, she is saved (and enslaved) by her impressive, shining armor.

Somehow, Miki has managed to turn into a little puddle which slides under the door. He jumps up and bolts toward the safe but helplessly pinned Becka. With one last shout of, "MY SHINING THING!" Miki lands in the car, which happily drives itself away honking its horn at everyone it passes.

Nanami barely contains her temper as she snarls, "NOW can I talk about my brother?" Becka is about to get up off the floor when… another Akio car crashes off the same balcony into the same position -- on top of Becka. This time the car contains every animal imaginable, a sort of twisted Noah's ark. A horde of squirrels, anteaters, koalas, flamingos, elephants, snails, baboons, lions, tigers, bears, and last but not least, Rabbits of Doom. Nanami is able to avoid the stampede, but she cannot stand A.T.H.O.G.A.M.R.O.D. (against the horde of gestating and multiplying Rabbits of Doom).

Eventually, Nanami pokes her head out from the mass of writhing, furry U.B.P.s (unidentifiable body parts). Holding up a random wooly foot, she growls, "What the HELL is *this*?" Karen mumbles a muffled mumble. She stands and coughs up several tuffs of fur, "Oh, nothing… just Rabbits of Doom…"

Nanami's glare is withering, "What the HELL are 'Rabbits of Doom'?"

Becka lifts her head, still encompassed by the helmet and ridiculous plume, on which several Rabbits are gnawing, "Rabbi's of Foom? Wha…?"

Lifting one of the fluffy offenders by it's hind legs, Karen holds it for Nanami to see, "*These*… Rabbits of Doom…" shrug, "It's something Dios came up with…"

A fluff of blue springs from beneath a pile of U.B.P.'s and streaks towards the glisteningly tempting armor, which is now skidded with tire stripes. It lands on top of the helpless Becka with that infamous cry of, "My shining thing!" then gurgles and smears happily across the brilliant shielding. Karen kicks her way across the tribble-type mass and pulls out a windshield wiper, attempting to remove the now melded blemish of blue- formerly known as Miki. Using this rare distraction wisely, Nanami quickly brings all attention back to her Oniisama with 101 reasons why…

101 Reasons Why We Love Touga…

101)   "Have you noticed that random piece of transparent hair?"

100)   "He was *technically* the one who saved little Utena, because he *was* the first person there."

99)     "You have to love the way he says Utena's name."

98)     "Don't'cha just wonder what he would look like wearing his namesake."

97)     "Apparently, he can dance."

96)     "Well, he's got his height going for him."

95)     "He has access to a big sword 24 hours a day."

94)     "He knows how to use that big sword 24 hours a day."

93)     "He intends to use…" Karen blinks, "Wait… wrong sword."

92)     "He's the only one who's ever beaten Utena in a battle."

91)     "There's always that wonderful hair."

90)     "He gets involved in intellectual discussions about 'shinning things.'"

89)     "He actually knows that Nanami's a bitch."

88)     "He was such a cute little kid!"

87)     "He's got great taste in cloths."

86)     "He's one of the few men who has great taste in clothes that isn't gay."

85)     "He isn't gay."

84)     "Did you here me??? He isn't gay."

83)     "Let me make myself perfectly clear here: He is not gay."

82)     "But, hell, he swings both ways."

81)     "Have you noticed the way his hair gleans in the sunlight?"

80)     "He can sum up the entire point of the show/duels/revolution in a 20.42 second speech about a chick and an egg."

79)     "He gets to say that same speech about the chick and the egg in almost every episode."

78)     "Three Words: Black Silk Pajamas. (See '101 Reasons why we love Tou… umm, nevermind.)"

77)     "He can 'manipulate' in every sense of the word."

76)     "He * does * 'manipulate' in every sense of the word."

71)     "So few guys can pull off the long hair-thing."

70)     "He has that wonderful broad expansive chest," Karen indiscreetly wipes Becka's drool off of the keyboard.

69)     "Just look..."

68)     "He has that well-toned abdominal area as well."

67)     "His lines are so fun to 'pants.' (See Introduction of 'The Utena 'Pant's' Page')"

66)     "He *is* the President of the Student Pants… wait…"

65)     "He knows all about 'End of the World.' (Pun *not* intended.)"

64)     "There are so few hot guys who like to duel for a girl."

63)     "Do the words: 'Oh yes… Baby…' mean anything to you?"

62)     "He did stop Saionji from beating the crap out of Anthy."

61)     "You have noticed the hair, right? Doesn't it make you wonder if * all * his hair does that?" Karen pointedly stares at Becka who cowers, speaking quickly, "No, sorry. I didn't mean that. Bad me. Bad. Bad. My mind doesn't run in the gutter. I mean that."

60)     "He doesn't abuse Chuchu."

59)     "He has pretty pretty blue eyes."

58)     "Who care's if he's cocky? That's what he's good at."

57)     "He wielded the sword of Dios so well."

56)     "He's a snazzy dresser."

55)     "He brings all new meaning to the words 'Toga-Party.'"

54)     "He manages to wear all white and never get it dirty. No pun intended."

53)     "He's proud to show off the ring he wears."

52)     "He gets *two* of those little cord thingys on his uniform, and everyone else only gets one."

51)     "The way his hair floats in the breeze like the down from a newborn chick."

50)     "He likes cute little furry animals." Karen smiles pleasantly, "We *really* have no pun intended here. Keep your minds out of the gutter and up up up in the dueling arena."

49)     "In the end, he is desperately concerned for Utena when she goes to face Akio."

48)     "He has a romantic streak in him."

47)     "He can be described as 'suave.' You have to love that."

46)     "The fact that he gets away with going through girls like tissues."

45)     "He is so tall, but he has never caused any girl a spinal/neck injury. That takes style."

44)     "He is so poetic, in a 'manly' sort of way."

43)     "Combined with Saionji, Touga makes the perfect Christmas ornament."

42)     "You know, red is the color of Seiya's roses too…"

41)     "His hair does that funky wispy thing."

40)     "The fact that we can envision his song as being, 'Trashy Women.'"

39)     "He has a 'mysterious nature.' Take that in the nicest possible way."

38)     "We're pretty sure he gets to play with the Planetarium thingee."

37)     "After all, he has had his fair share of midnight rides… uhhh…"

36)     "He's a man who is not afraid to have pink bed sheets."

35)     "He tries so hard to be Utena's prince. Pun intended."

34)      "The fact that he can buy a dress that fits Utena so perfectly."

33)     "He rides in the sidecar of Saionji's motorcycle."

32)     "We realize that we have used pictures before, but… just look."

31)     "Some of the hottest guys in anime have red/pink hair. Ex. Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin, Sakuragi Hanamichi from Slam Dunk, Tasuki from Fushugi Yugi, Kane Blueriver from Lost Universe, Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho, Ramna (albeit in his girl-form) and Ken from Street Fighter II."

30)     "He can pull off being a Rose Bride with such style."

29)     "He can handle Saionji being a Rose Bride without any problems."

28)     "He wants Saionji to be a Rose Bride without any problems."

27)     "He does manage to get Anthy into the Greenhouse with a sign that says 'Keep Out.'"

26)     "He has the ability to make us melt into little puddles at the mention of his name. " Karen blinks, "Well, at least Becka does…"

25)     "Hey, Touga can even have a random iced-drink."

24)     "If Akio has a way of looking smug, Touga has a way of looking smitten."

23)     "You just have to go for the second in command; None of the responsibility, but all of the perks."

22) "They break your heart. They steal your soul. Tear you apart, and yet they somehow make you whole. So what's their game? I suppose a rose by any other name… the perfume and the prick's the same." ~Lucy, from Jekyll and Hyde.

21)      "His hair matches Utena's shorts. Don't'cha just have to wonder…" Becka pops up, "I wonder. I wonder. Do you know what I wonder?"

20)      "With that hair, he'll never have the need for a flowing red cape."

19)      "And he can be spotted easily in snow as well."

18)      "We believe that in a tin of mixed nuts, Touga would definitely be the walnut."

17)      Karen pops up, chanting and giggling manically, "Toga-party! Touga-Party! Touga-Party!" Becka appears behind Karen with a giant spatula and an evil grin. Ten minutes, Karen is still trying to recover.

16)      Becka speaks, "He uses big…" Karen looks at her in a slightly dazed state, "Yes?" Becka glares a Karen, "Words."

15)      "He can be so classy about playing 'Go Fish.'"

14)      "He is a 'playboy.'" Becka places the tips of her fingers to one another with an evil look, "Excellent."

13)      "He's not just *any* playboy, though. He's Akio's playboy," Karen blinks, "Wait a minute…" She grabs the keyboard from Akio, who has begun to duck-tape Becka to himself. Karen: "We're trying to keep this clean."

Akio: "Witch."

Karen: "Pervert."

Akio: "Jezebel."

Karen: "Pimp."

Akio: "Spoil Sport."

Karen: "Despoiler."

Akio: "Virgin."

Karen: "You bet."

Akio: "Sissy."

Karen: "Savage."

Akio: "Priss."

Karen: "Prick."

Akio: "Coward."

Karen: "Cod-piece… no wait, that's Becka."

Akio: "Wanton."

Karen: "Don Juan."

Akio: "Damn strait."

Karen: "Reprobate."

:Akio just grins evilly, "Just wait, " Becka surgically removes herself from Akio, and wanders off, finally managing

to leave Karen alone with Akio. Karen *ulp*s.

12)     "Don't you wish you had a brother just like him." *cough*

11)     Becka pops up in a business suit with an FBI badge, "His hair is just… a little too red."

10)     "Like Antonio Banderes, he is young and vigorous."

9)       Nanami randomly pops up and screams, "He's *my* brother!"

8)       Touga appears, as opposed to 'pops up.' "I believe that I deserve to say at least one thing about my self. Especially since this list is all about me. I'm offended that no one has written a list about me before these… people… In fact, I don't think 101 is enough…" Karen grins. Becka drools.

7)       "He lies on a bed in such a way that he makes you want to…" Becka knocks herself senseless before she can finish that thought.

6)       "The fact that in the brief moments we see of his room, there *is* only a bed."

5)       "He introduces himself as a 'wholesome' boy."

4)       "Becka pops up happily, "He *doesn't* seem to have a fetish for strait jackets."

3)       "He looks so damn fine in that student council uniform."

2)       "Hell, he looks even better *without* that student council uniform."

1)       Karen recovers from Akio, "We love Touga because there is *nothing* about him that is…" Becka pops up with her hair in two heart-shaped buns, "Chibi-chibi."

One Rabbit, having discovered the immeasurable manipulative properties of a piano, now perches atop the bench, pawing the first tentative keys of 'The Sunlight Garden.' The blue smear solidifies into Miki, whose eyes water with joy as he glomps onto his 'furry shinning thing.' This frees the armor, which Becka has already somehow managed to slither out of.

She reaches into her pocket and tosses several seeds into the Akio-car. They immediately sprout into a mass of cloves, and the car, followed by a hoard of Rabbits, drives away into the happy sunset.

Miki looks down at where his fuzzy shining thing should be, his eyes watering sadly. He cries out, "Where for art though, my shining thing?"

He then breaks off into the mournful song:

"Oh where, oh where, has my shining thing gone?

Oh where, oh where, can it be?…"

Karen and Becka, followed by the mass of potential shining things (animals, Tswabuki, etc.) flee in great fear.