Karen looks on in horror as Becka unknowing glomps, not her, but Akio. Akio looks down at the glomping-Becka, and smiles evilly. He walks out the door with Becka still firmly attached and unaware, and Karen hastily drops the magazine and follows. Akio quickly makes his way to his office and lays Becka down on the couch.

Noticing that she is somehow laying down, Becka opens her eyes. She looks up. She sees Akio. She looks to the left. She sees the back of a white leather couch. She looks to the right. She sees a wooden table and the other leather couch. She looks down. She sees various pieces of her school uniform missing. She looks up. She sees Akio. Becka tentatively voices, "Ka-chan…?" From across the room, Karen sips a cup of tea, "Yes, Becka?" Becka looks up. She sees Akio. She looks to the left. She sees the back of a white leather couch. She looks to the right. She sees a wooden table, Karen sipping a cup of tea, and the other leather couch. She looks up. She sees Akio. She begins to mumble incoherently, "But… but… but…" Akio lowers himself on top of Becka to whisper something in her ear, "Still trying to fight me, my sweet?" Karen just giggles maniacally. Becka blinks and pulls out a large spatula. She whacks Akio across the room, letting out a little 'eep.' Akio splatters against the wall in a typical Ranma-esque position. Becka waves the spatula again in a threatening manner, "You touch my chest, I kick your ass…" Karen starts, "Hey! That's *my* line!"

Karen blinks, realizing what Becka has done, "Damn…"

Akio blinks, realizing what Becka has said, "Finally…"

Becka blinks, realizing what she has heard, "Huh?"

Becka continues, "Ka-chan… why did he say that?" Akio peels himself out of an Akio-shaped dent in the wall. From behind her cup of tea, Karen just smiles softly, "Remember, he *wants* people to defy him. It's more fun that way…" Becka 'eeps' and runs. Akio begins to chase her around his office. Karen stays put on the couch, remaining afraid as ever, "See Becka. See Becka run. Run Becka run."

Suddenly Akio stops, and the room disappears. There is a bright flash of light, and all three find themselves in another room, one that isn't the planetarium. Becka stops running and blinks at a large metal tree growing out of the ground in front of her, "Ka-chan… what is that…?"

Karen answers calmly, "It's a chandelier." Becka begins to mumble incoherently as what Karen said slowly dawns on her while Karen seems completely unfazed. After all, she can adjust to *any* situation. She looks at Akio curiously, "Why are we here…?"

Akio smiles slightly, "Change of scenery, more room to run around in…"

Becka comes out of her happy shell, like a chick from an egg, and glares angrily at Akio, "You…" Akio smiles, "I what… Becka…?" Becka closes her eyes, and with the sheer power of her rage, she suddenly goes through a very Sailor Moon-like transformation sequence. Her tattered school uniform melts away and her duelist uniform takes its place, piece by piece, complete with rose. She opens her eyes and turns her back to Akio. She grabs Karen with one hand at the base of her back, and before Karen can protest, Becka bends her backwards and extracts the Sword of Dios, taking special care *not* to touch her chest.

As Karen staggers back in sheer shock, Becka points the sword at Akio, her voice dropping an octave, "I challenge you."

Akio raises a brow, "Alright, I'll let you play your little game. What are you challenging for?"

Becka blinks and realizes she doesn't really know. She turns to Karen and queries, "What do we want, Ka-chan?" Karen shudders, visibly, "I. Want. To. Kill. You." Becka blinks, "No, really Ka-chan. What do we wish for?" Karen comes out of her fit of rage, and realizes that nothing is having any affect on Becka. She smiles pleasantly… placatingly, "We want to be Utena!"

Akio just smiles with calm amusement. He pulls Karen over, placing a hand around her waist. He draws a second Sword of Dios out purposefully. He, unlike Becka, takes no special care not to touch Karen's chest, placing Karen in another rage-induced stupor of shock. Karen *can't* do anything at this point, and so, Becka steps forward and the duel begins.

101 Reasons why we want to be Utena:

101)       "She wins… a lot… in many ways…"

100)       "Touga loves her. (See '101 Reasons why we love Touga.')"

99)         "Akio wants her. (See '101 Reasons why we hate Akio.')"

98)         "Akio is more or less… considerably less or more than more or less… nice to her, because he wants her."

97)         "She gets to spend as much time as she wants in the planetarium."

96)         "She gets all the privileges of being on the Student Council without actually being on the Student Council."

95)         "She gets away with breaking all of the supposedly 'strict' school policies."

94)         "She gets her very own show."

93)         "She is the only person we know of who can be both a prince *and* a princess," Becka blinks, "Well... except, maybe, Haruka..."

92)        "She can do that table-cloth garment thing…"

91)         "She's just… really… umm... cool?"

90)         "She has a 'noble' heart."

89)         "She doesn't need to deal with any parental units."

88)         "With Akio, she gets her own free taxi service… well, not exactly *free* but…"

87)         "She gets to wear her own special uniform."

86)         "She is the only other person besides Anthy who is ChuChu's 'friend.'"

85)         "She gets to live in a haunted dorm."

84)         "And when she moves into the tower, she gets an 'S' shaped bed."

83)         "She can get in *and* out of the castle of illusion."

82)         "We could never pull of the long pink hair thing…"

81)         "She single handedly defeats the entire men's basketball team."

80)         "She gets away with having terrible grades like that in school, just because she's a duelist."

79)         "She is never actually seen doing any homework."

78)         "She could sing the song 'Bitch' to Akio, and she could get away with it."

77)         "She has a fashion sense."

76)         "She's not gay, but she's perfectly alright with those who are."

75)         "She wants a 'wholesome' boy."

74)         "She finds a 'wholesome' boy in Touga."

73)         "She is popular with both men *and* women."

72)         "She has the miracle power, not to mention the 'shinning' thing…"

71)         "She also gets a big sword."

70)         "She knows how to use that big sword."

69)         "She gets to play with Touga's sword, in battle that is."

68)         "She gets to play with everybody's swords, actually."

67)         "She has the strength to put up with Anthy's passiveness."

66)         "She also puts up with the 'sama' crap."

65)         "Her dorm rooms are huge."

64)         "Like Karen, she gets away with completely stupid comments," Karen blinks, "What do you mean? Comments? Like the ones on the page?"

63)         "She gets the revolution *and* the Rose Bride."

62)         "She never has to do the card game thing…"

61)         "She was the first one to ever possess a Duelist Ring."

60)         "She's the only person in the world who could make Akio 'erp.'"

59)         "She's middle school freshman. She's new, and very popular." -Miki

58)         "Oh yes… Baby… you've lit the fire in my heart." -Touga

57)         "She *would* hold a toga-party."

56)         "She's apparently really flexible."

55)         "She fears the Shadow Girls."

54)         "Like Buffy, she kicks ass."

53)         "She looks hot in both a guys uniform *and* a dress."

52)         "She looks hot wearing actually anything…"

51)         "Her uniform has those nifty, yet physically impossible, white-tassel things."

50)         "She frequently walks to the top of the dueling arena without dying from lack of oxygen."

49)         "It looked like Touga really *enjoyed* cutting off pieces of her uniform."

48)         "She *doesn't* get an iced-drink, and therefore, she's not evil."

47)         "She has Anthy to cook for her… wait a minute…"

46)         "She's 'lucky to live with such a neat girl.'"

45)         "She *has* a prince on the white horse."

44)         "Somehow the pink of her hair does not clash with the red in her outfit."

43)         "She is constantly surrounded by hot men, in various states of dressed *and* undressed."

42)         "Hell, if she really wanted to, she could start a harem thing…"

41)         "She has her own Webring."

40)         "She has psychotic people like us who write lists about her."

39)         "She 'soundly thrashes' Ohtori's best duelist, *cough* Touga *cough.*"

38)         "She inspires loyalty."

37)         "She is the 'chick' which will hatch from the egg."

36)         "She also inspires great insights from Touga. (See number 58.)"

35)         "She has survived the No-Tell Motel."

34)         "Not only does she survive, she didn't have to pay the bill."

33)         "When she was trapped in the coffin, she was rescued by Touga, Saionji, *and* Dios."

32)         "I guess she has that feminine 'allure' thing…"

31)         "She constantly supports Wakaba in going after various guys, even though she never has a guy of her own."

30)         "She *doesn't* get letters from End of the World."

29)         "She inspired a disease which has wrought a wide spread multi-national, not to mention multi-lingual epidemic. (See 'You know you watch too much Utena when…')"

28)         "She appears to be the only one who has ever manages to get away from Akio."

27)         "She gets to ride a white pink-tasseled carousel horse past an upside down castle while wearing full armor, and no one thinks anything of this."

26)         "She gets a sword pulled out of her chest by Akio…" Becka blinks, "Wait a minute…" She grabs the keyboard from Akio, "How the hell did you get back here?" Akio shrugs, "I have my ways…" Becka, facefault.

25)         "She's not mean like Becka." Karen tries to explain to the readers, "You don't understand what she does to me while she types this stuff…" The scene flashes to Becka sitting in front of her computer, with Akio and Karen standing behind her with a whip and mallet, respectively.

24)         "Take one look at her non-existent waist, and you try to give use a reason why we *shouldn't* want to be her."

23)         "Like Antonio Banderez, she is young *and* vigorous."

22)         "She can resist the temptation of Saionji in his black kendo outfit thing…"

21)         Dios appears, "Briefly mentioned above was Utena's noble heart. Her heart and true sense is like a fragile clove which never the less stands firm amidst the horde of gestating and multiplying Rabbits of Doom."

20)         "She is able to deal with a giant octopus balloon in her closet."

19)         "She is also able to put up with other various animals in various places around her room."

18)         "She doesn't beat Anthy, though sometimes Anthy really deserves it."

17)         "Like Fox Mulder, she is on a quest to uncover the truth."

16)         "Could you imagine her in the role of the chick from 'Ever After'… or even the little girl from 'The Little Princess?'"

15)         "Like Dios, she also gets really cool speeches."

14)         "She has the nerve to challenge the captain of the illustrious Kendo club to a duel for her friend."

13)         "She can be a tomboy *and* a girly-girly, and everybody likes her for it."

12)         "She's got a spiffy manga art book thing…"

11)         "She can, and does, make the President of the Student Pants 'erp' on a daily basis… wait a minute…

10)         "She hasn't killed us yet for 'pants'ing her show."

9)         "She hasn't killed us yet."

8)         Karen randomly pops up and giggles maniacally, "Rabbits of Doom…"

7)         "Her eyebrows, unlike those of her friends, are *not* upside down."

6)         "Like Karen, she can adjust to almost any situation."

5)         "She's *14*… think about that."

4)          Becka types, "She is frequently glomped by Wakaba." Karen blinks, "Hey!" She grabs the keyboard from Becka and types, "She can *survive* getting glomped by Wakaba."

3)         "She changes the lives of all of those she meets *and* she does it in 39 episodes."

2)         "She gets to wear puffy pants! (See the opening sequence.)"

1)         "Dios. 'nuff said."


Throughout the entire duel, Akio hasn't really been fighting Becka, he's been 'manipulating' her. Suddenly, he is distracted, and Becka snatches this opening, slicing the black rose from his chest. He collapses, gasping, "Touga… Saionji… Utena… Miki… Dios… Anthy… car… doing… something…"

The scene flashes to the persons mentioned above, surrounding the Akio-car with cans of whipped-cream, cans of shaving-cream, a bottle of maraschino cherries, a set of well-used lock picks, a steel-tipped rose, and lots of silly string, respectively. They all wear determined masks as they purposefully advance on the helpless car.

Akio attempts to regain some semblance of dignity, as Karen bounds over to Becka and glomps her fiercely in congratulations and relief. In her haste, Karen accidentally knocks the dark blue rose from Becka's uniform. Akio looks up as the rose drifts down in front of him. He lifts it tenderly in his hands, then his fingers close around it, wrecking the fragile bloom. His smug voice drifts up to both of the girls, "Draw."

Karen pulls out a pad of paper and a pencil. She smiles, "Yes?"

Becka collapses to the floor, moaning in agony, "So close… I was so close…"

Akio smirks and inches his person forward, "You still are."

Becka stands unsteadily, her hands spasming uncontrollably. She sing-songs to Karen, "Come'ere honey… let me put the swords back in your chest…"

Karen sweatdrops, and backs purposefully away. As Becka moves after her, Karen breaks out in a full-fledged run. Akio remains in his place on the floor, smirking, "See Karen. See Karen run. Run Karen run."