Becka and Ka-chan pop up from nowhere, screaming in protest and put a large "CENSORED" stamp across this entire introduction before disappearing wherever they had been.
Akio repeats, "My Akio-sense™ is tingling." He stealthily maneuvers around the couch, noting with great amusement the blue bottom which protrudes from one of the plush white leather seats. Akio poses in that you-are-in-my-clutches-now manner and softly inquires, "Miki-kun, what are you doing to my couch? I'm sure you'd have much more success trying out that position on me."
The blue bottom freezes in alarm and Miki quickly removes himself from beneath the aforementioned plush cushions. Blushing furiously, he stammers, "I-I'm sorry, Dean Akio…. But… but… I.. I had no where else to go!" Akio smoothly glides over to the uncomfortable boy, a devil-may-care smirk slitting across his features. He speaks in a deep, almost seductive voice, "Oh?"
Miki gulps audibly and averts his eyes. Then he notices something and just as quickly reverts his eyes up to Akio's face. He hastens to fix the disarrayed cushions and dashes to sit down on the opposite couch. Miki continues, his bright eyes brimmed with familiar tears, "I'm sorry… I've tried everywhere else, and I had no where else to look! I can't…. I just can't…." Akio unmistakably moves his person closer to the downtrodden lad. He softly purrs, "Look no more. You've found." Miki chokes (also audibly), and sweatdrops, "I-- I don't think so--" Without missing a beat, Akio grins, "Trust me, boy, I'm shining."
Miki blinks. Twice. And he blinks again. And once more for good measure. He only heard two words in that sentence, "Trust" and "me." He was certain that they didn't go together at all. Eventually, however, all things must come to pass (Time being what it is and all), and in due time his brain gets around to the "I'm shining" comment. Given his current situation, Miki comes up with the best response he can, "That's my problem." Maintaining his smug demeanor, Akio quirks an eyebrow at his captive audience, "You know, they make a pill for that now."
Having absolutely nowhere to go from that, Miki swallows and takes a deep breath. He was at the end of the line, and there was no getting out of this now. "Akio-sama, do you have any idea how I can find my shining thing?"
Akio looks at him with a bemused expression, impressed that the boy had actually had the nerve to ask him that. If Miki really was in such an inconsolable state of depression, he wasn't going to provide too much fun. So Akio frowned and checked his mental catalogue of ways to a) cheer Miki up and b) use everyone else for some fun in the process. He selects a new, gratifying manner for some fun-filled excitement and inwardly congratulates himself for his ingenuity. "Why don't you put out advertisements on milk cartons?"
Miki's face brightens at least ten degrees of genki-ness 1) because Akio was not going to … him and 2) because he had a new idea for how to find his shining thing. But just as soon as Miki's face brightened, it fell once again. Noticing this, the Dean asked, "What's wrong?" Miki frowned as he thought about the logistics of Akio's plan. "But-- with all my studying, the fencing club, and my piano, where will I get the time to come up with the proper advertisement?" Akio grins that unsettling grin of his that usually means that something very bad is about to happen, and imparts to Miki a line which terrifies the blue-haired boy as much as 'Let me show you the Ends of the World': "Leave everything to me."
The next day, Miki walks down the hall to his second period class, still dreading the full implications of Akio's parting line, "Leave everything to me." As class begins, Miki pulls out his supplies, not really paying attention to the teacher as she begins to describe a new class assignment. Unfortunately for our blue-haired Champion of Jell-O™(1), he was blissfully unaware that he was about to discover exactly what Akio had meant, and become another mindless pawn in Dios's Great Game of Parcheesi. However, all of this is beyond him as he sits in class; until his ears perk at two words: "advertisement" and "Milk."
Quite certain that the teacher was not offering the class refrigerated bovine-originated beverages, his attention snaps back up as he attempts to catch the end of the assignment. Although he missed the rest of what she said, a small ditto was passed around with the requirements and criteria for this assignment. Reading it over, his eyebrows raise sharply. A contest! An Academy-wide contest to make the most creative Milk Ad. And the prize--
Karen re-appears "is to guest-star on Blood Soaked and Honor Bound: Revolutionary Girl Utena!!!!!!" Becka pokes her, "Um, Ka-chan… We already did that.. remember?" Ka-chan deflates "…oh…yeah," as they both disappear again.
And the prize is that the winning ad will be printed nation-wide, on milk cartons everywhere. Half of Miki's mind went "Great Dios, he's done it again…" while the other half was busy exclaiming "Lucky!" in a very Lina Inverse-like manner.
Before long, the contest got quite out-of-hand
(Which was exactly as Akio had planned):
People were using the ads as devices
To vent their stress about each other's vices.
Utena wrote Wakaba's, which really was a chore.
Nanami's was made by the one that she adored.
A triangle formed in a bizarre sort of ironic jest:
Juri did Shiori's, Shiori did Ruka's, and Ruka did… what he does best.
Saionji made Anthy's, which caused the whole campus to groan.
Kozue did Miki, and Dios made his own.
Becka lets loose a growl and pulls out her spatula threateningly, "Enough with the rhyming already!" Karen pouts, "But -- but poetic license is fun." She adds under her breath, "And I've only just begun…" Somehow, Becka manages to hear that and she inches forward. Ka-chan sweatdrops, "No, No! Don't hurt me, please! I'm begging right here, down on my knees!" To emphasize her point, she drops to one knee. Becka eyebrow-twitches but continues forward nonetheless, all the while muttering, "That's it. No more Wawa cappuccino for you." Karen pleads, "Oh, no! Surely you jest... Cappuccino is best for an anime fest." Becka drops to her knees and mutters, "Oh, Dios! Akio's had at you, hasn't he?"
The aforementioned Akio appears with a brief "Hai;" Ka-chan blinks and wonders, "Why?" Dios, sick of their rhyming rambles, suddenly appears as leaves them in shambles. Becka begs for someone to make the madness stop. Karen can't, so she does the next best thing-- she returns to the plot.
| By: Karou Morgann
By: Twinkitty Magic By: JoSelle By: Tenoh By: Ka-chan By: Utena By: Utena By: Tenoh |
|
1-800-CLICK-ME |
|
Miki, satisfied that he has completed the advertisement to the best of his
abilities, hands in the assignment a day early, confidant that he will soon
meet his shining thing.
To make a long story short (not that we ever have), Akio sees to it that
Miki wins the contest and that his ad is printed nation-wide, as promised.
Dozens, even hundreds of replies come in, and Miki is forced to find the
time to sort through them all between fencing practice and piano practice.
His efforts were rewarded, though, as he found two ads which struck his fancy.
He immediately reported the results to Akio, who magnanimously offered the
use of his planetarium for a scheduled meeting between Miki and his "shining
things."
Three hours before the meeting, Miki finished putting on his best suit. He
had combed his hair; he had brushed his teeth; he had even polished his stopwatch
in anticipation. Nervously, he set about psychologically preparing himself
for the encounter of his lifetime. Now, some people practice talking. Some
people practice posing. Some people even practice kissing. Not Miki. Oh,
no. Miki practiced glomping… and the ensuing battle cry. Fortunately,
the only potential recipients of Miki's fervent last-minute training were
Karen's discarded (some say pilfered) rubber duckie and his sister, Kozue.
Neither really complained.
Feeling somewhat convinced of his glomping abilities, Miki stepped off the
elevator into the planetarium. Akio had set up tea and cakes for four, with
a nice rose centerpiece on the coffee table for effect. So Miki was left
to spend the last hour waiting for his shining things by talking with Akio,
avoiding Akio, and sometimes outright running form Akio, too.
Luckily, however, the doorbell rang with Miki's shining things waiting on
the other side. Akio answered via intercom and told them to come upstairs.
(That wasn't quite what he said, but we really don't want to
repeat that, and you should thank us for it.) Overjoyed beyond words, Miki
vaults over the couch and beelines for the elevator doors. Just as the doors
slide open, Miki strains forward to get that first glimpse of his shining
things, also mentally preparing himself to glomp the biggest glomp he ever
glomped before.
Perhaps Akio's snigger should have clued him in that something was not going
to go as planned, for it is not every day that you have the Dean of the esteemed
Ohtori Academy, Mastermind of the Duels, and onetime god doing
something so ineloquent as sniggering… but somehow he pulls it
off. But no, Miki was too absorbed in what was bound to be an event which
would change his life forever.
Two vaguely female shapes advance forth from the bowels of the elevator and
stand shoulder-to-shoulder forming their own Brute Squad.
Miki blinks.
Olga and Brunhilda wave stoically, "Yo."
Miki screams and faints.
___________________
(1) In case you're wondering where we pull this &$^%
from, It's simple --- The Thesaurus.
