Red Rose By: Becka Standard Disclaimer: The cast of Utena belongs to B-PAPAS, directed by Kunihiko Ikuhara, story and original character design Chiho Saito, published by SHOGAKU-KAN, series structure Yoji Enoto, produced by TV TOKYO/YOMIURI ADVERTISING. They were used without permission for a non-profit purpose. Utena Tenjou: "Konnichiwa, Kiryuu-sempai." Touga Kiryuu: (Smiling and kissing her hand gently) "Konnichiwa, Utena. You look most beautiful today." Utena: (Blushing) "Domo arigatou. Demo... (She pulls away) "Ikaga desu ka, Kiryuu-sempai?" Touga: (Smiles knowingly) "Gomen nasai, Utena. I did not wish to make you feel uncomfortable..." Utena: "You didn't do the slightest." (After a small pause) "Sempai." Touga: (Still smiling, offers her his arm) "Would you care you join me for a walk to the gardens, Utena?" Utena: (Suspicious) "I would love to…" (Pausing hesitantly before locking arms with him) Touga: "My thanks, Utena... How have you been as of late? Well, I hope?" Utena: "I've been good. And you, Sempai?" Touga: "I have been, perhaps, better, but it is nothing of consequence. And Anthy? How does she fair?" Utena: (Arching a brow at him, both careful and curious) "She's doing fine… demo, are you sure you're okay?" Touga: "It is nothing I cannot handle... and perhaps it would be better if we did not speak of it." Utena: "I understand. Sempai, demo…" (Hesitantly) "I am here for you, if you... need me." (Softly) "But don't take that as something else." Touga: (Slightly pained) "I do... need you, Utena. Though in neither of the senses you seem to associate with my presence…" (Sighs) "Nor ever will…" Utena: (Surprised) I… hai… demo… I…" (Frowns at her stuttering) "Hai. I... understand." (This being just the opposite.) Touga: "No matter. Take no notice of me, Utena. My mind is wandering and is not on what I say…" (He abruptly stops walking.) Utena: (Totally confused) "Daijobu desu ka?" Touga: (Smiles gently) "Because, princess, we are here." (He points to the greenhouse) Utena: (Laughing) "Hai, so we are." Touga: (Stops to pick a red rose) "Shall we go in?" Utena: (Nodding, they enter) "Anything happening in the Student Council, Sempai?" Touga: (Toys with the red rose in his hands) "Not much right now, mostly due to my neglect. We need to meet some time soon, I think. We need to discuss several things, mostly the Revolution. (Pausing) "May I ask you something personal, Utena?" Utena: (Both brows rising) "Sure. What?" Touga: (Looking down at the rose in his hands) "Why do you fight?" Utena: (Tensing slightly) "I…" (Pauses) "I fight... because Himemiya needs me." Touga: (Completely changing the topic, he holds the rose out for her to see) "It's beautiful, is it not, Utena?" Utena: (Looking down at the rose in his hand, a smile curling across her features) "It's very beautiful." (Pauses) "You're... a very passionate person, Kiryuu-sempai. I failed to notice that sooner." Touga: (His eyes never leave the flower) "It's like the heart of a man I knew once…" Utena: (Curiously) "A man you once knew? Who?" Touga: (Reaches out with his other hand, gently caressing its petals) "This rose is truly the embodiment of that man… a survivor… beautiful yet quite deadly." (One finger catches on a thorn, spilling a drop of his blood as dark as the flower itself) Utena: "I... hai... demo who?" Touga: (Oblivious) "Truly this man was a king. He was wanted by all and even loved by a few of them. He was a man who knew what he wanted and took it in the same breath he realized it in. He was a fighter, perhaps one of the greatest. Who knows? He might have become a prince one day..." Utena: (Frowns at the word "prince") Touga: (Blood trickles down the side of his hand) "The man became tainted. He was embittered slightly... and perhaps even a little cruel, but that did not stop anyone from wanting him less. This was not what the man wanted. He did not want to be considered a prize or a master. He wanted something that was so small in it's simplicity that it should have been easy for him to find." Utena: "…" Touga: (Softly) "He wanted love. He wanted someone whom he could love, and who could in return love him. Not because of his stature, but because of the man that he was. His tainted heart pulled a cruel twist of fate on him though. There was a girl, beautiful and noble and brave. She was the embodiment of everything he could ever possibly want, and he discovered, to his amazement that he did love her. He loved her enough to die for her, if she asked it of him. He'd lived so long with his taint though, he could not bring himself to tell this bright and beautiful woman that he cared... and so it remained silent." Utena: (Curious, confused, and slightly amazed) "Did he ever tell her? Ever?" Touga: (His voice sounds haunted) "It hurt him, you know. He was so near her, but she seemed to disdain his every attempt to become her friend. He never could bring himself to admit how complete his love for her was, how it bled him inside to know to know that he could never hold her as he liked. He could never kiss her or touch her, or even talk to her as an equal because his taint had some how managed to reach her as well." Utena: "Why didn't he just tell her how he felt?" Touga: "He watched with a kind of horrid fascination as the woman bore up under this taint with amazing strength and determination, as she fought for others even as she fought for herself. The man watched as the taint on his own heart hardened him and controlled him to become a man he learned to hate. How could he tell her his love when he no longer deserved it? Even after the taint spread like a disease through his body, it could not purge his love. He spend many nights sleepless, thinking of how he might reduce -her- pain… -her- suffering." Utena: (Amazed) "But… the man. He wasn't as bad as he seemed then." Touga: (The rose trembles slightly) "The taint spread further, purging him of all feeling and all emotion, save his love which he clung to as his last thread to humanity. The disease destroyed this man's body, turning it to an empty shell that the taint could easily control. But he never forgot. His love held, helping him to survive in a world where even his thoughts were not his own." Utena: (Brows slanting back slightly, watching him with slightly parted lips) Touga: "This taint… it controls the man even to this day, though all that is left of the man there was, is his heart." Utena: (Eyes wide) "That was... beautiful." (Rather stupefied) Touga: (Stands abruptly. He tosses the rose to her) Utena: (Catches it, confused) Touga: (Softly) "Keep his heart, Utena. Truly, it belonged to you from the beginning." Utena: "Me… I… Touga..." (Makes a move to go forward, but halts) "…" Touga: (Turns again, silently walking out the doors and into the night. His words are lost on the wind.) "Forgive the man, my prince, that was to cowardly to tell you of his love when he still could."