Isnt it strange how we always want things that we cant have. But isnt it unfair when we only want one thing, one single thing... but we still cant have it. All i ask for is one thing, and i cant have it where other people ask for hundreds of things and get every single one of those things. It isnt fair. How would you feel if for as long as you can remember you have wanted just the friendship or respect of one single person and to have them laugh in your face, not personally or particularly physically, but nevertheless do so, it makes you feel like shit. Trust me it does. Everyone who knows me knows exactly who i am talking about right now... and sometimes i wonder why i do it. I would do anything for him; i would jump out of a plane, off a cliff, i would have all of my bones broken i would do anything for him. I sometimes wish i was dying, that i was stuck somewhere and as soon as they moved me i would be gone because perhaps then i would get a final wish and he would be my wish and even though i would know i was about to die, i wouldnt care. Maybe i would die happy, at least then i wouldnt be prone to the hurt and suffering of reactions from what his future holds. I cant seem to make anyone understand just how much he means to me and how much i wish i could be with him, its like trying to explain how a computer works in scientific detail to a dog. But i wish more than anything in the world that i could meet him, at the very least.. but whats the point in wishing every single night when your dream just wont come true?
