It's not if...
It's when?
and it's in 2024
I have finally come to the decision that it is only a matter of time before I rule the world, so I need to create a checklist of what to do. Bye the way, if there is something you feel I should do when I rule the world, e-mail shadowdrop12k@yahoo.com
What to do when I rule the world...
- Throw snowballs at France untill they surrender.
- Rename it Frooti-Spooti.
- Change Canada to Canadia
- Make all of the United States individual countries.
- Make Antarctica my low-security prison/nuclear test ground, and name it Hell.
- Terra-form an iceburg and make up my high security torture island, named France! (ha, France is off the coast of Hell!)
- I will make flammable water!
- Australia will be my massive V.I.P. resort island, entrance on invitation only, for all of my friends and political allies. All of the people currently residing in Australia will be able to stay put, for the most part (some people will be relocated, it's inevitable).
- One rather large lake in Australia will be filled with jell-o brand gelatin.
- The Bahamas will become the Spahamas. (figure it out!)
- New Zealand will be a massive nature preserve.
- The Vatican will remain untouched!
- I will make it so I can never violate copywrite laws, or any other for that matter, so I can avoid all that damn little text at the bottom of my screen.(Oh how I hate that...)
- I will allow people freedom of choice in things like religion (because I'm a semi-understanding dictator), but I will create many NEWER, BETTER religions. Why are they better? Ask that and you go to Hell!
- All languages will be changed to English.
- The metric sytem will reign supreme! Our system makes no sense!
- I will standardize MY form of currency
- Burying your dead will be outlawed. You will need to cremate all the dead. Those who I feel worthy shall be buried in honor. They will be buried rather shallowly, then have a single oak planted above them. The tree will then absorb them as it grows, and they will live on.
- Create an UnGodly sized fence around New Jersey, send in all of the evil world leaders (whose ass's are not already owned by someone) and give them weapons. Then set up an equally ungodly number of cameras, and create a super reality show!
- Ban all other reality shows.
- Divy-up countries to those who are deserving.
Of course, I can't handle the entire world by myself (though I'd do a pretty damn good job), so I'm giving many countries to deserving people. My friends get first dibs, and my family, then other fans of mine get select countries. If you want a country, e-mail me at the above link, why you think you deserve said country, and I'll see what I can do.
The following countries are reserved
- Greenland | Connor
- Iceland | Connor
- Sweden | Connor
- Czechoslovakia | Dad
- Honduras | Mike W.
- Tai-wan | Mike W.
- Ecudor | Mike W.
- Part of Russia | Patrick
- Part of China | Patrick
- Tajikistan | Melanie
- Italy | Mom
- Argentina | Gracie
- The Amazon | Gracie
- Alaska | Carissa
- Hawaii | Carissa
- Finland | Brady
- Spain | Mrs. Fischer
- Vermont | Zach
- Massachucetts | Sam
- Dominican Republic | James A.
- Key West | James A.
- Ireland | Fitz
- Ireland (shared) | Erin
- Fiji | Erin
- Madagasgar | Tara
- Arizona | Priscilla
- New York | Chelsea
- Maine | Emily
- Norway | Joe
- Denmark | Joe
- Romania | Joe
- Ex-French Canadia | Joe
- Jamaica | Craige
- Sey Shells | Craige
- Mediterranian Africa | Scott (my mentor)
- Tibet | Nick
- Germany | Nick
- Whales | Nick
- Lebanon | Nick
- Rhode Island | Caroline
- British Columbia | Kim
- Atlantis | Floyd (my imaginary friend get imaginary place!)
- Indonesia | Claire
- Nevada | Claire
- New Mexico | Claire
- The Faerie Islands | Lois
- Korea (North and South) | Joe C.
- Hong Kong | Joe C.
- New Zealand (caretaker) | Mr. Kraegel
- East Timor Island | Mr. Kraegel
- Greece | Amy
- Pennsylvania | Emily W.
- Ohio and Ohio River Valley Area | Mr. Morell
- Louisianna | J.K.
- Mississippi | J.K.
- Scandanavia | Tom
- Colorado | Bryan R.
- Maryland | Bryan R.
- Virginia | Elizabeth
- Jabudi | Jim L.
- Congo | Jim L.
- Rest of the Keys | Atlas L.
- Montana | Atlas L.
- South Africa | John
- Yesmun | Patrick M.
- New England | Allan S.
- Hungary | Emily B.
- Texas | Matt B.
- Saudi Arabia | Matt B.
- California | Evie H.
- Singapore | Alli T.
- Acopoco | Alli T.
- Ivory Coast (sections) | John Y.
- Columbia | Kevin F.
Last but not least, I'm granting titles of nobility, contrary to the teachings of the American Constitution, but hey, it's my world now. Anyway, they are as follows.
- Queen of Eurasia | Erin T.
- Pun Master | Mike W.
- Master of Sounds below 1000 Hrtz | Craig S.
- Prince of Swiss Cheese | J.K.
- Broadway Bruiser | Sarah K.
- Quing of Salt and Pepper Shakers | Alli T.
- High Chief Vissior | John Y.
AAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!! This is the mini-text I speak of. I hate it! It ruins all that is good in the web! MRAH!!! When I rule the world I will condemn this text to France, and it will suffer a horrible death filled with the wrath of all the copywrite attorneys who will sub-sequetnly lose their jobs. RRRAAAWWWRRRRRRRR!!!
