Part 116

It was late when Howie and Sarah finally made it to their room. Sarah collapsed on the bed, exhausted from the day’s events, as Howie closed the door behind them. Watching her as she stretched out, Howie smiled. It was the first time in almost a month that Sarah looked truly relaxed. He hated to ruin this by letting her have the letter but he had promised and she needed to get it over with so she could finally close this part of her life.

"Angel, are you up for reading your mother’s letter?"

Yawning, Sarah looked at him. "Yeah, I guess, but I want to change first."

Howie reached into their bag and tossed Sarah a red silk nightie that he’d bought her in Boston. He’d held off giving it to her but now seemed to be the perfect time.

"What’s this?"

"Just a little something I got you in Boston…the day you found out you were pregnant. I was saving it for our honeymoon but…."

Sarah held it up and grinned. "Kinda skimpy, isn’t it?"

Howie only grinned and watched her get up to change.

The two got into their favorite position on the bed; Howie leaning against the headboard with Sarah between his legs. She leaned against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and began to nuzzle her neck. As he held her, Sarah also ran her hands along his thighs feeling the strong muscles.

Howie held the letter in front of her and as she reached for it, he noticed her hand shaking. He hugged her tight, "Angel, there’s NOTHING to be scared of. It’s just your mom’s feelings or account of things in your life, her dreams for you."

"I know…it’s just the fact that she wrote them down."

Sarah opened the letter and carefully took out the pages that were filled with her mother’s handwriting. She opened them and began to read aloud.

"My dearest little miracle, as I begin to write this, I am watching you sleep in your father’s arms. I never thought I would get to see this but God was smiling down on us when he allowed me to keep you. You are so tiny in his arms but so full of life. I try to imagine the lady you will become and all I can do is hope that your dreams come true.

Sarah and Howie took turns reading the letter. They both laughed as they read her mother’s accounts of her birthday and other events throughout Sarah’s life. They also shed tears when her mother related her heartbreak over things such as Sarah’s broken ankle at the age of six when she was trying desperately to keep up with her brothers on roller skates; the loss of her favorite dog at the age of ten; and when Sarah lost out on becoming a ‘Mousekateer’ at the age of thirteen.

Howie stopped, "Angel, you never told me you tried out for the ‘Mousekateers’."

"I know. It wasn’t that big a deal but guess who got the part instead of me?"

"Who?"

"Britney."

Howie laughed, "You lost out to HER? God, what WERE they thinking? You are by far a better singer than her."

"You really think so?"

"Definitely, but we’ll talk about your singing later. Let’s finish this."

Sarah groaned knowing that they were closer to the part that would inevitably talk about Russell. Howie hugged her tighter to reassure her and sure enough, a page later, the first of many accounts of her mother’s feelings for Russell.

Howie stopped to regain his composure as Sarah whispered, "My knight is here, Mama."

They continued to read and reached the account of Russell raping her and Jesse’s birth.

"Angel, what exactly did Russell have on Dusty?"

Sarah sighed, "Something that could have gotten him killed. See, Dusty is a DEA agent but at the time, he was working for the sheriff’s department in an undercover drug operation. Somehow, Russell found out and threatened to expose him. It would have cost Dusty his life if the drug dealers had found out."

"And to protect your brother, you agreed to stay with Russell? Why didn’t you just tell Dusty what was going on?"

"He was so deep in that it was hard for us to get hold of him. By the time he DID find out, Jesse had already been born and it was basically too late. He told his supervisors and they pulled him out immediately," she sighed. "It’s okay though. I left him and found my dream."

Howie nuzzled her neck and then continued. He had a hard time reading Mrs. Taylor’s account of what Russell and Chrissy did to Sarah and his voice betrayed him. He faltered several times and his anger spilled out. He never realized just how much he hated Russell, not because he was Sarah’s ex but because he was pure evil. It was obvious that Russell had treated Sarah far worse than he’d ever imagined.

Sarah stopped him and ran her hands over his arms. "He’s out of our lives, D. He can’t hurt us anymore."

"How could he treat you like that though?"

"It was his way of feeling in control."

Howie hugged her tighter and she felt his tears on her skin. Whispering, "I promise never to treat you like that, Angel."

Sarah turned to kiss him tenderly and took the letter. Her mother talked about how happy she was for Sarah now that Howie was in her life; how impressed she was by the extent he went to ensure her happiness. She also commented on the change Sarah had obviously gone through with Howie in her life.

Howie took over reading when it became apparent that the letter was coming to an end. "Sarah, I need to tell you the truth about my death and I know that as you read this, you have Howie with you. He’s such a special man. Your father and brothers were told that I had a heart attack and this is how I chose it to be. I didn’t want to lie to your father but I just couldn’t put your father through the agony of watching me die slowly. He was my heart and soul…as Howie is yours. Just before Christmas, I was diagnosed with cancer, a very aggressive cancer that had already spread to the point of being untreatable. I want you to tell your brothers and father when you think they can handle the truth.

Howie looked at the last page to see that it was a poem and asked, "Want me to read this too?"

Sarah nodded her head as she wiped the tears.

Howie set the letter on the table beside the bed and took Sarah in his arms, holding her close and nuzzling her neck. With his hands, he rubbed her stomach but never said a word.

Sarah put her hands on his and whispered, "Thank you for being here for me."

"Angel, you’re my other half…my soul mate…and I can’t imagine ever being without you."

The two grew quiet thinking about their lives together.

Softly, Sarah said, "Howie…."

"Hmmm."

"I told Becca that I’m pregnant. You don’t mind, do you?"

Howie laughed softly, "No…. I told the guys."

Sarah turned so that she could look at him. "You’re so excited."

"Damn straight!" said Howie as he had her move so that they could lie together and he could look into her eyes. He moved down so that he was at her stomach and he kissed her. "Angel, there’s a life inside you…maybe two…that I helped create. I want to tell the world JUST HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU and that I’m gonna be a father."

The glow in Howie’s eyes was intoxicating and Sarah’s fears dissipated immediately. "Okay, so the people closest to us know. Who else do we tell?"

"I want to tell my parents but NO ONE else. We’ll wait to tell management and the crew when you’re ready. Sarah, I respect the fact that you want to wait but the guys were worried that ‘it’ was starting again."

Sarah laughed, "I understand. Becca point blank asked me if I was pregnant."

"Our friends! You gotta love ‘em."

Running her hands through his hair, Sarah said, "Almost as much as I love you. God…. I can’t believe Kevin at the pond…and YOU!"

Howie laughed, "What? The only one who hasn’t seen me is Becca and after Kevin…. She REALLY wasn’t looking at Brian or me. Besides, Kevin was YOUR fault…. calling him like you did! You knew he’d turn around. Were you trying to get free shot?"

"NO!!" laughed Sarah. "You know, I noticed you were a little excited when we were playing with Nick’s mind."

"Mmmm…it had something to do with my wife and that skimpy bathing suit she was wearing," said Howie as he ran his hand down to her crotch. "Somebody’s tan body and so soft."

Howie moved up to be beside Sarah as she ran her hands across his chest. "A certain dark-haired guy had me rather warm too."

Howie teased, "Angel, I thought you were over Kevin."

Sarah saw the teasing gleam in Howie’s eyes and decided to play along. "I’m sorry, D, but god…his lean, muscular body glistening with sweat. It was such a turn on. I couldn’t help myself," she growled.

Howie held his weight over her. "Lean and muscular, huh?"

"Yeah, D," purred Sarah as she caressed his biceps. "So strong."

Howie kissed her lightly on the forehead and began to bestow kisses along her neck trailing down to her breast. "So sweet."

Sarah ran her hands across his back and down to his boxers. She slipped her hands into the waistband and moved around to take his hard cock in her hand. "So firm," she rasped as she stroked him.

Howie moaned as she took him in her hands closing his eyes. "So soft," he gasped. "Sarah…."

"Hmmm," answered Sarah as she continued to stroke his length.

"I need to feel you around me."

"Roll over," commanded Sarah as she pushed him off her gently.

Howie obeyed and rolled onto his back. He watched Sarah move so that she was on top of him and she began to kiss him along his neck and collarbone. With her tongue, she made her way to his nipples twirling around them and then sucking hungrily. With her fingers, she traced the line of hair down his abdomen to the top of his boxers.

The feel of her fingers caused Howie to take a breath. "God!" he moaned.

Sarah looked up. "Close…your angel," and she returned to placing kisses where her fingers had been. When she reached the waistband, she slipped them down as he lifted his hips to help her. Tossing them aside, Sarah focused her attention on his throbbing cock.

"Mmmm…delicious," she said breathily against his skin as she licked the first drops of pre-cum.

Howie reacted with a moan and running his hands through her hair.

Sarah took her time pleasuring Howie. She found all the sensitive spots on his stomach, calves, and thighs that she knew drove him crazy, kissing each one, licking them, letting her hair run across them…simply driving him mad.

Howie watched her…enjoying the feel of her mouth on his skin. When he thought he wouldn’t last, he moaned, "God…Angel…just take me."

"All in good time, Sweet D…all in good time," she purred.

Sarah massaged his thighs as she placed kisses along his stomach and Howie felt like he was going to explode. Hearing the groans and feeling him squirm, Sarah knew he was ready. She took him into her mouth, slowly, tickling the tip with her tongue.

"Oh, god, Angel," growled Howie lifting his hips to thrust into her mouth.

As he lifted his hips, Sarah slipped one hand under his ass as she took his shaft in and out of her mouth. She sucked, licked, and kissed his length as Howie thrust into her feeling like he couldn’t get enough.

Feeling the familiar signs of Howie’s orgasm, Sarah moaned, "Cum for me, D. I want to taste you."

"Oh…god…Sarah!" gasped Howie, his breath coming is gasps.

Sarah took him completely into her mouth one last time and his orgasm took him. He exploded and Sarah took him, licking what ran down his shaft and then moving up to lie beside him.

Howie brushed her hair back as he whispered, "Angel, I don’t care how many times you do that, it’s always better than before."

Sarah kissed him lightly on the tip of his nose. "That’s because each time, I love you more than the time before."

Howie rolled onto his side and propped his head on his hand. With his finger, he traced a line from Sarah’s lips down to where the material of her nightie began just above her breasts. He whispered, "It’s your turn, Angel."

Sarah closed her eyes as Howie slipped the straps of her nightie off. He had her sit up so he could take it off and then taking her in his arms, he lay her back, covering her with his own body. She felt his breath on her neck as he sucked gently at the pulse point eliciting a soft moan.

"Angel, I want to take my time and make love to you in every way possible. I want to fill every part of your body with my love," he whispered into her ear and then ran his tongue along the rim, sending a shiver through her body.

Sarah opened her eyes and gazed into his deep, brown eyes. She thought, ‘God, they get darker when he’s like this.’ Then to him, "What are you gonna do to me?"

Moving his hand over her body ever so lightly, barely touching her, he said, "First, I’m gonna taste you, like this." And he moved between her legs and buried his face in her mound. With his tongue, he parted her folds and found her clit. As he flicked his tongue across it, a hand moved to her breast massaging and toying with her nipples.

"That…feels…so good," she whimpered.

Howie took her clit in his mouth, moaning as he sucked, sending vibrations through Sarah’s body. He moved his hand down and as he continued his ‘assault’, he inserted first one finger and then another. He thrust into her several times coating his fingers with her juices.

Pulling away, Howie whispered, "I want your ass, too, Angel. I want to feel what Kevin felt that night by his pool."

Sarah looked at him somewhat shocked. She’d never expected this from Howie…Kevin and AJ, sure. In fact, it was one of the things AJ had taught her and she’d wondered what it would be like with Howie but they had NEVER tried it. In fact, it was never mentioned, until now. "Do you have lube?"

Reaching over to the table, he opened the drawer to pull out the tube and a condom.

"What’s that for?" asked Sarah when she saw it.

"It’s not smart for me to be in both places without…."

"Stop…Don’t ruin the moment. Just go back to what you were doing," smiled Sarah. In the back of her mind she knew this was typical of Howie and she loved him that much more for it.

Howie slipped the condom on and then got a generous amount of lube that he applied to himself first and then to Sarah. Moving into position, he pressed against her, slowly easing into her. He stopped when he saw her grimace. He knew this wasn’t her first time but he wasn’t aware just how many times she had done this. He was concerned that he was hurting her and asked, "Do you want me to stop?"

"No…this position just isn’t the easiest for this. AJ use to…"

"You’ve done this with AJ too?"

"God," moaned Sarah realizing what she had done. Hesitantly, she said, "Yeah."

"Okay, what would be better?"

"From behind, D," she whispered and he withdrew to allow her to roll over.

When she was in position, Howie once again pressed against her and slowly entered her. Sarah moaned softly and pushed back against him causing him to enter her completely. Feeling the tightness surround him, he groaned as he began to rock back and forth into her. He reached around at the same time and began to play with her clit.

Sarah closed her eyes concentrating on the tingling sensation that began to spread through her body. She whimpered, "D…god…that’s…. So…good."

"Let go, Angel…that’s it," he growled feeling her body shudder as the wave of ecstasy overtook her.

Howie had to stop so that he could maintain control. He watched as Sarah’s body rocked with her own release and felt his own starting to subside. He couldn’t get over how tight she was and how incredibly good it felt to be inside her like this. He moaned, "God…you’re so tight, Angel."

"It’s heaven…having you in me like this."

Howie began to stroke in and out again as he reached up to her breasts. With his thumb and forefinger, he twirled the aching nubs making them harder. Sarah gasped with pleasure. She moved again, meeting him, wanting him.

Howie couldn’t take it any longer and had to pull out of her. Slipping the condom off, he commanded Sarah to roll over and before she had time to get comfortable, Howie was in her and pounding her with an urgency that they both felt. Sarah wrapped her legs around his waist and held on to him desperately.

The two reached their peaks together and Howie collapsed beside Sarah. As their heartbeats slowed, Howie kissed her tenderly. "I love you, Angel."

"I love you too…I’m sorry about earlier and mentioning AJ. It’s just that…well, this was…uhh…it was one of the things ‘Bone’ did that I always wondered what it would be like to do with you. Now I know."

"It’s okay, Sarah. I was a little surprised but I’m cool with it. We need to get cleaned up and get some sleep."

The couple got up to do that and returned to the bed. Howie pulled the covers over them as Sarah snuggled close, her head on his chest and her hand on his stomach. He held her close and kissed her tenderly.

Sarah whispered, "I love you so completely, Howard."

"And I you, Sarah," and he began to sing ‘That’s When I’ll Stop Loving You’, the song he had written for her before the ‘Millenium’ tour. She fell asleep within minutes listening to his silky voice.

"Sleep, my beautiful angel."

The next morning, Kevin stuck his head in to check on the couple and saw them wrapped up in each other’s arms.

Brian asked softly, "Are they up yet?"

Kevin pointed to them and said, "Nope."

Brian smiled, "Glad to see she’s FINALLY able to sleep."

Closing the door gently, Kevin said, "She’s gonna need her rest now. Let’s leave them alone."

The rest of the weekend was spent relaxing and enjoying the time off. They were all extremely grateful for the break.

Part 117        The Dance Index