Part 124

The two friends headed to the private restrooms and once inside, Becca made sure they were alone before locking the door.

Facing Sarah, Becca said, "Okay, what’s going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I watched you go from floating on Cloud 9 to manic depressive in two seconds flat…a new record for you, especially being in Howie’s arms."

Sarah tried to blow it off. "You’re imagining things, Bec. I’m fine."

Exasperated, Becca said, "Stop trying to hide it. I’ve known you too long. Your checkup was today and Howie’s obviously happy about something with all the stuffed animals."

"Yeah. And your point is?"

Becca felt a knot growing in her stomach. Hesitantly, she asked, "Well, what did the doctor say?"

Sarah leaned against the wall. "Howie IS the father and it’s twins. They did an ultrasound and set my due date as February 28^th. I’m further along than I thought."

Relieved, Becca said excitedly, "That’s fantastic, Sarah."

Sarah smiled, "Yeah, it is and I’m REALLY happy."

"Then why the long face?"

Sighing, Sarah explained, "Becca, after I left the doctor’s office, I was so excited. My first instinct was to call Mama."

"That’s natural," offered Becca.

"I went so far as to call her and was expecting her to answer. When Daddy picked up, I realized what I had done."

"Oh, Sarah…I’m sorry."

"What am I doing, Becca? I said my good-byes and I’ve made my peace with her death. Why am I still doing this?"

"Sarah, it’s natural to want to share the news with your mother."

"She’s DEAD, Becca, and I know it."

"But you aren’t use to the fact that you can’t call her to tell her your news. Sarah, for eight years, you had your dreams shot down, laughed at, or simply ignored. Now…they’re coming true and you want to share. It’ll get easier, I promise."

"I know and I should be grateful. I have Howie, the guys, YOU, my family. I just MISS her so much, Bec."

Becca embraced Sarah as they both began to cry. The two friends stood there together, one comforting the other and lost in their own thoughts. Sarah was thinking about her father too but she didn’t want to say anything to Becca about her fears. It was too much for her to understand, why heap it on Becca?

Finally, Sarah pulled away and wiped her tears. "Don’t you have to go to the bathroom?"

Becca grinned, "I do NOW."

"Well, hurry up before they send out a search party."

"Have you talked to Howie about this?"

As Sarah washed her face, she said, "Not yet. I really haven’t had a chance to. When I got here, he had a surprise for me and then I had to get ready for the show."

As the two entered the office, Howie saw the telltale signs that Sarah had been crying and decided it was time to clear everyone out.

Becca helped by saying, "Nick…I’m exhausted. Let’s head home."

Howie added, "Yeah, and Sarah’s tired."

Kevin saw the look in Sarah’s eyes too and said, "Baby, you were awesome tonight. We’ll talk more about recording later."

"That’s cool," said Sarah as Kevin stood to hug her. "I’ll see you guys later."

"Hey, D…when are you two headed on your honeymoon?" asked Brian.

Sarah moved to be in Howie’s arms as he said, "Sunday. We’re gonna stop in Arizona to see AJ and then head to Hawaii."

Sarah laced her fingers with Howie’s and pulled his arms around her as she leaned against his chest. She yawned sleepily as Howie gave her a kiss on the neck.

Nick grinned, "We got the hint, Sarah. We’re leaving now."

"Thanks for coming, guys," said Sarah wearily.

Kevin smiled and reached to touch her Sarah’s cheek. "You’ve had a big day, baby. Let D take you home and get some rest."

As they were leaving, Nick asked, "Hey, what did the doctor say?"

Becca pulled him by the arm. "Stop stalling, Nick!"

"I’m not stalling. I want to know what…"

"I’ll tell you in the car. Come on."

With that, the small group left Howie and Sarah alone in the office. Howie hugged Sarah tight and said, "I need to go make sure everything is taken care of before we head home."

"Okay. D, we have both vehicles here."

"We’ll leave the truck here and get it tomorrow. I’ll be back in a few minutes."

While Sarah waited for Howie, she made herself comfortable on the couch amongst the stuffed animals that Howie had bought, picking out a particularly soft teddy bear to cuddle with. Snuggling in with all the other animals around her, Sarah easily drifted off and when Howie returned, he found her sound asleep.

He smiled to himself as he watched her sleeping peacefully and then sat down beside her. He brushed her cheek tenderly and gave her a kiss. "Angel, time to wake up."

Sarah’s eyes fluttered open and she yawned. "What time is it?"

"Almost two. I got held up with a phone call."

Sarah noticed the edge to his voice and asked, "What’s wrong, D?"

Cupping her face in his hands, Howie placed a feathery kiss on the tip of her nose. "We’ll talk about it later, Angel. Right now, I just want to get you home and into bed so I can hold you close."

The drive home was quiet since Sarah snuggled next to him and fell asleep before they ever got out of Orlando good. As he drove, Howie would glance down at Sarah as she slept. She was so peaceful in her sleep, no dreams haunting her. How would he EVER be able to tell her what had happened? It seemed like every time she got back on her feet, something happened to knock her back again and he wasn’t sure that she had the strength to face this next one. His biggest concern was for the babies that Sarah was carrying though. She didn’t need the added stress.

At the condo, Howie carried Sarah in as she continued to sleep and put her on the bed. Carefully so as not to wake her, Howie undressed her, slipped his shirt back on her and then tucked her in for the night. He would join her later but first he wanted to get a drink and think about how he was going to tell her the news.

In the living room, Howie picked up the pile of mail that John had left on the table for them. He flipped through it quickly but when he reached the bottom, a particular letter caught his eye. He took it out of the pile and looked at the return address. It was from an attorney in Virginia. As he walked out to the balcony, Howie opened the letter only to find another letter addressed to him. Opening this one, he realized that it was from Sarah’s mother. Looking at the postmark on the original envelope, he saw that it had been mailed the day after they had left Virginia.

Howie unfolded the letter and began to read.

"My dearest Howard,

Sitting on the balcony, Howie stared out at the blackness of the ocean and thought about the letter he’d just read and the phone call from Mark, Sarah’s brother. He was excited about the fact that Jesse was still alive but he decided it would be best to find her first, then tell Sarah. There was the issue of getting her back. But the part about Sarah’s father had him scared and confused. How was he suppose to tell Sarah that she was about to lose her father too…not in body but in mind? He wasn’t even sure how he’d handle it. He reached for the phone and dialed.

"Kevin?"

Sleepily, Kevin answered, "Howie, what’s wrong? Is Sarah okay?"

"She’s sleeping. I need to talk to you…about Sarah."

"Okay, so talk."

"No…I need you to come out here."

Kevin looked at the clock. "Howie, it’s 3 AM!"

"I know but it’s important."

Kevin heard the urgency in Howie’s voice and said, "Give me some time. I need to wake up and get dressed."

"That’s cool. Just let yourself in when you get here. I’m gonna go in with Sarah while I wait for you."

"Howie, this is serious, isn’t it?"

"I wouldn’t have called you if it wasn’t. Kevin, I’m not sure how Sarah is going to handle this one and I’m scared of what’s gonna happen. She can’t take much more."

"I’ll be there as soon as I can. Just hang in."

Howie hung up and went to the bedroom. Sarah had rolled over to his side of the bed, evidently looking for him but she seemed to still be asleep. He climbed in with her after taking his shirt and shoes off and slid down next to her, taking her in his arms.

Sarah whispered sleepily, "Where were you, D?"

"Out on the balcony. I thought you were asleep."

"Mmmm…. I was but I wanted to snuggle next to you and you weren’t here."

Howie pulled her close to him and nuzzled her neck whispering, "I love you so much, Sarah."

"I love you too, Howie. What’s wrong?"

"I don’t want to talk about it right now, Angel. Tell me what upset you tonight."

Sarah sighed. "After I left you, I called home…. to talk to Mama. When Daddy answered the phone, I realized what I had done!"

Howie’s heart broke listening to Sarah. Trying to control the emotions in his voice, he asked, "So, did you talk to your father?"

"For a few minutes, yeah. I told him about the doctor’s appointment and he was happy for us. But D….something’s wrong with Daddy. I can’t put my finger on it but I heard something in his voice. Listening to him talk, I got that same feeling I had the day of the funeral."

Howie’s heart skipped a beat. She had an idea something was wrong with her father and now the call from Mark. He didn’t say anything as he held her close wondering if he should wait for Kevin or go ahead and tell her now.

"D," yawned Sarah. "Aren’t you coming to bed?"

"I’m here, Angel."

"I know but you’re still wearing your pants."

"I’m not really sleepy. I just wanted to hold you for a little while."

Sarah could still hear the edge in his voice and she rolled over to face him. She ran her hand down his arm. "Howie, what’s wrong? I can hear it in your voice."

He stroked her cheek. "Not now, Angel. You need your sleep. You’ve got two other little lives to think about," he said as he placed his hand on Sarah’s stomach. "Now close your eyes and go back to sleep."

Searching his eyes, Sarah decided that there was no point in pushing him. He’d said they’d talk about it later and she knew he would. "If you want to get up, that’s fine. I’ll be okay."

Howie smiled. "I’ll hold you for a little longer. I enjoy the feel of your body next to mine."

Sarah rolled back over and they spooned together, Howie burying his face in her hair. He sang softly to her knowing that it would lull her to sleep and sure enough, she was out within minutes. He held her close listening to her breathing and thinking about how he was going to tell her about her father.

Howie must have dozed off to sleep because the sun was coming up when he woke. ‘Shit,’ he thought. ‘Kevin was on his way out.’

He got up carefully so as not to wake Sarah and went out to the living room where he found Kevin asleep on the couch. He shook him gently, "Kev…wake up."

Kevin stretched and opened his eyes. "Where’s Sarah?"

"Still asleep. Come on. I’ll fix us some coffee."

The two men went to the kitchen where Howie fixed coffee for the both of them. He had decided not to tell anyone about Jesse right away so Kevin was here to talk about her father.

"So, what’s the problem, D?"

Howie handed him the cup of coffee and said, "I got a call at the club from Mark, Sarah’s oldest brother, before we left last night. Seems her father has disappeared and they don’t know where he is. They’ve called the local authorities but they can’t do anything for twenty-four hours."

"They don’t think he’s going to harm himself, do they?"

"I don’t think so. Look, I have to tell Sarah…."

"Wait until they find him, Howie. No sense upsetting her until you know what’s going on."

Howie shook his head. "It’s not just her father’s disappearance, Kevin. I got a letter from Sarah’s mother…through the attorneys. Sarah’s father is suffering from Alzheimer’s and all of this is most likely connected to that. Her mother asked me to take care of Mr. Taylor for her."

"Whoa! I see why you’re concerned."

"Yeah. Kevin, I’m not sure how Sarah is going to react to this. She knows something is wrong with her father but how much more can she take? And she doesn’t need the added stress being pregnant."

Sympathetically, Kevin put his hand on Howie’s shoulder. "D, Sarah has grown up so much in the last few months, especially after the clinic. She’s stronger and a lot more levelheaded. You two have such a strong relationship, honest and open. Just tell her, be there for her…like you always have been. She’ll be okay and you both have the rest of us!"

Howie smiled. "You’re right."

"Sarah misses her mom which is understandable. Why don’t I fix you two some breakfast while you talk to her. Then take her to your mother’s for the day. Mama D always knows how to make someone feel better and she loves Sarah as much as she does your sisters. Let your mom spoil her. After all, her baby son is gonna be a father soon," smirked Kevin. He knew how much Mrs. Dorough doted on Howie since he was the youngest and it was no secret that she adored Sarah just as much.

Sarah had made her way out to the kitchen where she had heard Kevin and Howie’s voices. She stood in the door now yawning as she asked, "What are you doing here, Kevin?"

Kevin grinned, "Couldn’t stand to be alone so I thought I’d come out here and pester you two."

Sarah moved to where Howie was leaning against the counter and leaned against him. As she rested her head on his shoulder, Howie wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the forehead.

"What are you doing up, Angel?"

"When I rolled over to snuggle, you weren’t there and I heard y’alls voices in here. What are you two doing up at this hour? I mean, it’s not unusual for you, Howie but Kevin…I didn’t know you knew what this time of day looked like unless you were just coming in."

Both men laughed and Kevin laughed, "Baby, I’m not THAT bad."

"Yes, you are."

Howie was dreading what he had to do but he said, "Sarah, let’s go out on the balcony and talk."

Sarah looked up at him and saw the seriousness in his eyes. "This is about what’s got you upset, isn’t it?"

Howie simply nodded his head and the couple headed out to the balcony where the sun was above the horizon completely now. The seagulls were swooping down feeding in the surf and the beach was peaceful. Howie sat on the chaise and pulled Sarah into his lap with him. He held her close wishing that he didn’t have to tell her this but knowing it was up to him.

Slowly, weighing his words carefully as to soften the blow, Howie started, "Sarah, this is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and…"

Sarah got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach and she looked up at him. "Howard, please! Who is she?"

Realizing that Sarah thought he was gonna tell her he’d had an affair or something, Howie hugged her tight. "No, Angel….I love you and only you! There isn’t anyone else. There could NEVER be anyone else."

"Then why is Kevin here and why didn’t you want to stay in bed? You’re scaring me, Howie," she whispered.

"God…NO!! It’s not like that. Sarah, we just found out that you’re pregnant with MY children and I WOULD NEVER do that to you. No…this has to do with your parents. Last night, Mark called and your father has disappeared. They’ve called the local authorities but nothing can be done for twenty-four hours."

"Oh god!!" she gasped as the tears began to fall.

"I wanted to break this to you easier, Angel," said Howie tearfully.

"Oh, baby…please, don’t cry," whispered Sarah as she turned in his arms. "I know you want to take care of me and I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions."

"No…I started out all wrong, Sarah. It’s MY fault."

"Howie, it’s okay. Please, is that all?"

Shaking his head, Howie said, "I wish it were. While I was sitting here earlier…after I put you to bed, I went through the mail and I found a letter….from your mother. Evidently, she had written it before she died and gave it to her attorneys to send when they read the will."

"What did she have to say?"

Tightening his hold on Sarah, Howie continued to tell her what the letter said about her father but leaving out the part about Jesse. Sarah sat in his arms in complete silence, listening and wondering why the hell SHE was being punished. When he was done, Howie asked, "Sarah, what are you thinking?"

She wiped her tears. "What have I done to have so much thrown at me?"

"Angel, you haven’t done anything wrong. God isn’t trying to punish you. You know he doesn’t give you any more than he thinks you can handle."

"Yeah he does. I can’t handle this! My father is losing his mind…I lost my mother…"

"But you still have me, Sarah. You have our babies," he said softly rubbing her stomach. "It’s gonna be okay. I thought maybe…well, Kevin suggested it and I think it’s a good idea…anyway, why don’t we go in and spend the day with Mama. I know she’d love to see you and we can tell her about the babies."

Sarah leaned against Howie’s chest already tired. She whispered, "I like the idea, Howie. What about Daddy though? Shouldn’t we go to Virginia?"

"Not this time, Angel. I’m gonna call Mark, tell him about the letter, and go from there. I’m gonna suggest that they take him in for a full exam and then we’ll go from there after we have a better idea of what is going on with him. We may have to hire someone to stay with him at the house to make sure he’s okay…. Depends on how bad he is."

"Howie…Daddy can’t afford…"

"Shhh…. Don’t worry about your dad. I’ll make sure he’s taken care of…just like I took care of you. Now, Kevin is fixing us some breakfast. Why don’t we go get a shower and then we’ll go into town and visit Mama? We’ll get Kevin to drop us off at the club so we can get the truck and all the stuffed animals."

Sarah laughed, "We’re gonna need the truck to get all those stuffed animals back. How did you get them all in the ‘vette?"

"I had them delivered to the club. Come on, let’s go get ready for the day."

With that, Howie and Sarah headed to the bedroom to get ready after Howie let Kevin know their plans. A day with Mama D was just what the doctor ordered for BOTH of them.

Part 125        The Dance Index