Part 159

"Ohhh ….my own bed…" Becca moaned in ecstasy as she lay on the middle of her bed in Orlando. "I'd forgotten how nice it felt to be home." She sighed in contentment as Nick stood in the doorway, watching with a smile on his face. "I could stay here forever."

"Tired?" he asked, bending over to slip her shoes off her feet, making a mental note to compare their current state of swelling to what they would look like in a few hours.

"Yeah. I'm always tired lately, Nick."

"Tell you what," he said, rubbing her feet, "take a nap for a while. I have a couple of things to do and then we're officially on vacation for the next two weeks."

"You don't need to tell me twice," she mumbled. "Do me a favor? Close the drapes before you go?"

Nick pulled them tightly closed, enshrouding the room in darkness. He turned to tell her goodbye, but she was already dead to the world. Smiling tenderly, he brushed her hair away from her face, kissed her cheek and tiptoed out, closing the door behind him.

Taking a quick look through the cabinets in the kitchen, he grabbed his keys and set off for the supermarket.

* * * * *

Becca turned over and opened her eyes. For just a moment, she had no idea where she was and began to panic. Her eyes settled on the picture of Nick on her nightstand and she sank back against her pillow with a sigh of relief. Her eyes began to slowly adjust to the darkness, and she looked at her clock. 7:30? God, she'd been asleep for hours. Stretching carefully, she yawned, relieved to avoid yet another leg cramp. They'd plagued her early in the pregnancy and were now back with a vengeance almost every night. She lay there for a few more minutes, debating whether or not she actually had to get up. As she pushed herself to a sitting position, the door opened slowly.

"Hey sleepyhead," Nick peered cautiously into the dark.

"Hey! It's late."

 

"You needed the sleep, Bec, I know you haven't been getting a lot lately."

She laughed. "Neither have you," she said suggestively.

"Never mind, that's not what I meant and you know it." He laughed, leaping on the bed next to her.

"Wanta?" she grinned.

"Nope."

 

"No?" She looked at his face, pressing her hand to his forehead. "No fever … your eyes are clear… what's up with this Nickolas?"

"Nothin', I tell ya. Am I that predictable?"

"Yes!" she laughed.

"Ok, so can I help it if I find my wife sexy and desirable?"

Becca snorted. "Sure, tell that to someone who believes it."

"Hey – you dissin' my wife again? Do NOT dis my wife." He rolled her to her back and sat straddling her thighs. Leaning close to her face he carefully brushed her bangs out of her eyes and kissed her, slowly and thoroughly. He felt her body begin to respond beneath him and, with every ounce of self-control he possessed, moved away and stood up.

"Nick?" she asked in confusion.

"Dinner's almost ready. Splash some cold water on your face and come on downstairs."

Becca frowned. Hell of a time for Nick to start listening to Howie's advice, she grumbled as she made her way to the bathroom. After rinsing off her face and brushing her hair, she walked carefully down the stairs, and as she neared the dining room, the most amazing scents began to tickle her nose.

"There you are, I thought you'd gone back to sleep." Nick appeared and took her hand, leading her into the dining room. "Happy homecoming, Bec," he whispered.

"Nick, this is beautiful!" She was astounded and thoroughly impressed. Her table was set with her mother's fine linen tablecloth and all of her good china. Candles flanked steaming dishes of chicken marsala and linguine, and soft music played in the background.

"Here," he said, pulling out her chair for her and seating her with a flair.

"Wine glasses?" she asked raising her eyebrows. "Nick-"

"Only the best for you," he grinned, unwrapping a chilled bottle of spring water and pouring some into her wine glass and then his.

"Nick, you can have wine if you want. Just because I can't-"

"No, this is fine. Here, let me help you."

He proceeded to serve her each and every course, methodically clearing the dishes away after each was finished. The mood was perfect and by the time they were finished eating they were more relaxed than they'd been in months, maybe even *ever*.

"C'mon, wife." Nick pulled her up from her chair.

"Nick that was so good," she sighed.

"Put your feet up while I clean up, we'll have dessert later."

"I can help."

"Nope, tonight you're off duty. Come on." He tugged her hand and led her to the living room. "Here, I got you a video to watch."

"I'd rather have dessert …" she snaked her arm around his waist and under his shirt, dragging her nails over the KAOS tattoo on his spine.

"Bad girl, stop that!" He twisted away laughing. "Sit. Here. Cheesecake with strawberries if you can be good while I load the dishwasher."

"Nicky, I can be VERY good," she purred.

He smirked. "I know. Damn, do I know."

Popping in the video, he cranked up the volume as he left the room laughing. 'Damn woman's gonna be the death of me,' he thought. A week. Howie said a week. Shit, it was gonna be a long damn week. His thoughts were broken by Becca's hysterical laughter as the video began and the strains of "Bye, Bye, Bye" could be heard.

'Score one for me', thought Nick.

The kitchen was spotless when he returned to the living room carrying two plates heaped with cheesecake and strawberries.

"You have a very twisted sense of humor Carter," Becca laughed.

"What, you didn't like my choice of videos? I'm so disappointed," he sighed, "I hear boy bands are all the rage."

"I dunno, that Justin guy *is* kinda cute…" she murmured thoughtfully.

"God, Bec," Nick shuddered.

"Ya know, I'll have some extra time on my hands these next two weeks. I could use him in a new fic I've been thinking about."

"No WAY! It's bad enough you once paired me up with Howie, I have to draw the line at my wife writing 'Nsync fanfic."

Becca laughed. "You're so easy, Nick. Not to worry, no 'Nsync fanfic."

"You look better, Bec. How you feelin'?" He put his dessert plate on the coffee table next to hers and turned to watch her.

"Much better. Nick, this is so wonderful. Just you and me, no pressures, no running to catch a plane or a bus…" She sighed, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. "I'd forgotten how nice it was just to have quiet time with you."

"Me too, Bec. The last month has been nuts. First AJ, then Sarah's mom … are you sure you're ok?"

"I think so. You know, it won’t be much longer." She paused as she felt his arms tighten around her. "How are you with all of this?"

"I'm great, Bec."

"No, really Nick. Don't try that with me, I'm not buying it."

"Truthfully? I'm scared, Becca."

She reached for his hands, squeezing them. "Of what?"

"All of it." He took a deep breath. Howie said they needed to talk, so this seemed like the best time to begin. "Sometimes I feel so self-assured, so in charge, and others," he paused looking for the right words. "Other times I don't know if I can do this. I just feel so young and dumb to be a father, you know?"

"Nick, you're not the only 21 year old to ever father a child."

"I know that, Bec. But what do I have to offer? What do I know about being a father?"

Becca laughed. "About as much as I know about being a mother?"

"Huh?" he asked, astonished at her answer. He'd assumed that she was dealing with this all better than he was, but from her answer, it didn't appear that way at all.

"I have no clue what I'm doing, Nick. I've read baby books until I can quote you facts and page numbers, but once I hold our baby in my arms and it cries for hours on end, all that book-learning is going right out the window. You have a younger brother and sisters. At least you've been around small children; I never even babysat when I was a teenager. I was too involved in my music and school to be bothered. And since it was just me and daddy, I never had other kids around much."

"I guess I never thought about that."

"There's no rule book, Nick, we're going to be winging this. But we'll do it together, that's the important part."

"What if I screw up?" he asked softly.

"Our son or daughter will love you just as much. Just admit when you make a mistake and apologize. That's one thing my daddy taught me: always admit when you're wrong and don't be afraid to say you're sorry."

Nick held her in silence as he thought about what she'd said. "I'm worried about you, too," he added.

"Why?" She pushed away from him and turned to look at him as he talked.

"I know you haven't been feeling well, and I know some of the things that can go wrong."

"Nick-"

"I'm scared to death something is going to happen to you and I'm going to lose you." He said all this in a rush, afraid he'd lose his courage and not say it at all.

Becca's eyes filled with tears. "God, Nick, how long have you felt this way?"

He shrugged. "I dunno, a long time I guess."

Becca reached her hand toward his face, smoothing away the hair that had fallen over his eyes. "Why didn't you say something before?"

"I didn't want to add to your problems, make you worry about *me*. You have enough to deal with."

"Nick, we have to talk about this. What's got you so worried?"

"I was talking with Howie last night."

"And?"

"He was telling me about some stuff that Sarah had gone through when she had Jesse."

"That was Sarah, Nick, not me."

"But I've been watching you, Bec. The way your feet swell, the way you don't sleep anymore, the leg cramps-"

"All perfectly normal for the last trimester, Nick, at least that's what the books say."

"What about you fainting the other day? That's NOT normal. How's your blood pressure?"

Becca's breath caught and she paled. "Fine."

"Because it can be high without you knowing it, " Nick continued, oblivious to her reaction. "That's common, too."

"Nick, I'm fine," she insisted.

"I'm sure you are, baby, I just worry." He reassured her by pulling her close once again as Becca frowned. He didn't know how close to the truth he'd been and if Becca had her way he would never find out.

"Anyway," she said, "we'll get a clean bill of health in the morning and a peek at little Carter, and THEN we're going shopping."

"Shopping?" he asked, horrified.

"Yes, didn't you read the chapter about 'nesting' yet? I have this sudden urge to redecorate Sarah's old room. We'll need wallpaper, paint, furniture…"

Nick pulled her to her feet, groaning as the list went on and on. "Stop! You're making me tired just listening." To prove his point, he yawned widely as Becca giggled.

"C'mon, Blondie, let's tuck you in, " Becca said heading for the stairs.

"Let me start the dishwasher and I'll be right up."

Becca changed into her favorite cotton nightgown and locked the bathroom door. Quickly she reached for the top shelf of the linen closet, taking down the small blood pressure cuff that she had tucked behind the towels several weeks prior. Offering up a silent prayer, she wrapped it around her upper left arm and willed it to be lower than it had been a week earlier. The digital numbers climbed slowly, stopping finally at a rate that could, at best, be considered borderline. Sighing in relief, she packed it away once more as she heard Nick's feet on the stairs. Now if it would only stay that way past her checkup tomorrow…

Nick was already in bed when she emerged, and it was clearly an effort for him to stay awake.

"Tough day, Nicky?" she whispered.

"Yeah, being a housewife is harder than I thought." He was stretched out on top of the covers, his eyes drifting closed and his voice fading away.

"Go to sleep, Nick, we've got a busy day tomorrow." Rolling to her side, she found a comfy spot as she watched him snore softly, his arm flung over his eyes. It was hours before she followed him in sleep. As she lay awake, her mind churned with random thoughts and then her sleep was plagued with jumbled dreams of the baby, the colors of the nursery and tour buses.

Sometime in the night they found each other, and as morning dawned they were a tangle of arms and legs, the covers in a heap on the floor, testament to the rough night they'd endured.

Part 160        The Dance Index(2)