Part 189
Kevin dimmed the lights and the opening strains of "Drowning" began to play on the large screen TV. The replay went much like the days' shooting: the group around the piano, then each individual singer, ending once again with Nick and then one last shot of all the guys, soaking wet and looking extremely edible.
The teasing Becca had endured all day began once again. It was all in good harmless fun, but she was tired and overly emotional and it was getting really old. Nick didn't encourage it, but neither did he put a stop to it. He loved that Becca was so openly turned on by the performance and planned to use it to his advantage before too long.
The simulated rain fell in sheets as the five sang their hearts out and Nick watched Becca's face, his fingers tangled in her hair, his thumb stroking her ear. She sighed louder than she meant to though, and laughter erupted around the room.
Becca tensed and only Alex saw the way her fingers were clenched. The video ended and Kevin rewound it to watch again. Becca couldn't do it. Carefully she stood up in the dark, gathered her empty plate and glass and took them to the kitchen. She gingerly placed them in the sink, her eyes filling with hot tears. She jumped as a voice spoke behind her.
"Don't tell me you're okay," Alex said quietly.
"Sure I am," she answered, willing her voice not to break.
"Bec, you're talking to the master of denial. Tell me again how 'okay' you are." He put his hands on her shoulders and felt her tremble with the effort to hold back her tears.
"No, really," she protested one last time before the tears began to fall.
Alex wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head and holding her while she cried. He reached around her for a napkin and handed it to her to blow her nose. "Better?"
"I know they're only having fun."
"But it's at your expense and it hurts."
"How did you-"
"How did I know? Bec, I've been there. 'Ha ha, look at AJ, the fun guy.' 'Look at AJ, drunk again.' 'Isn't AJ the life of the party?' No one ever means it, but it still hurts."
Becca sighed. "I feel like such a wimp. I can't take it sometimes and I feel like I don't belong here."
Alex spun her around. "Don't you ever let me hear you say that again. You belong here as much as anyone else, Bec. Nick loves you and would be lost without you. Baby, you are so beautiful, you have no idea. You're a good person and have so much to give. Sure, I was watching you today, too, but Bec, it was wonderful. You're like an open book. I watched you watching Nick and I was envious. I could see how much you love him and want him and it doesn't get any better than that. As lucky as you are to have him, he's even luckier to have you."
"Thank you," she whispered, ducking her head.
He tipped her chin up with his fingers. "This is all part of that fish bowl we talked about, remember? It's times like this that fame and fortune suck. I'm sorry you have to deal with it Bec, but I'm not sorry you're here with us. It's a fantastic ride we're on, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Just try to find your own personal space where you can let down and just be 'you'. And make sure you take Nick with you once in a while."
"I can't go back out there Alex, I'm just too tired."
"There's another door out of here." He showed her the way. "Go on upstairs, I'll send Nick up."
Becca shook her head. "Don't spoil his fun, let him be."
"Trust me Bec, it's not fun for him if you're not there. Go on, he'll be up soon."
Becca hugged him one last time and slipped out the door.
* * * * * * *
The video was on again as Alex returned to his seat. This time, however, he sat by Nick, nudging him none too gently.
"Where's Bec?" Nick asked.
"I sent her upstairs," he whispered.
"Damn, what's wrong?"
"She's trying hard to fit in, Nick, but-" Alex shrugged and his point wasn't lost on Nick.
"Thanks, man, I owe you." He pushed himself up off the sofa.
"No you don't, just go up and be with your wife."
Nick silently left the room as the others watched the video. They’d watched it enough that now they were beginning to make critical comments about how they’d like to see it edited, what they could have done differently and so on.
Nick was onscreen again, and Kevin turned to make a comment, but discovered that Nick and Becca were missing.
"Nick’s gone?"
Brian turned around, too. "Looks like Bec disappeared, too." He grinned. "That didn’t take long."
"Knock it off, Rok," Alex said.
"Oh come on, you knew that this would happen. Becca’s been practically drooling all day." Brian laughed again.
"That’s not why she left." Alex sighed.
"What’s wrong?" Howie asked with a frown.
"I sent her upstairs. Guys, she was in tears in the kitchen."
"No way." Brian sat up straighter as Kevin turned up the lights.
"She’ll kill me if she finds out I told you." Alex gathered up the dishes to clean up. "But you gotta remember how sensitive she is. All the teasing and crap today, it was just too much." He waved off their protests. "She knows you didn’t mean anything by it, but that’s part of what has her so upset. The fact that she can’t deal with it and feels like some kind of failure."
"That’s crazy," Kevin said, shaking his head.
"No, that’s Becca," Alex reminded them patiently. "She’s different, guys. You just need to try and remember that from now on."
Howie knew he was right. After all the times he and Sarah had talked about Becca, the one thing they’d unanimously agreed upon was how different Becca was from Sarah. He hoped she’d be all right, but he knew Nick and he knew that he’d take care of her. Looking down, he smiled. Jesse had fallen asleep, her head on his lap, and she looked so peaceful.
"I need to get this little one into bed. Let me go tuck her in and I’ll be right back." Gently he picked her up, being careful not to wake her. He carried her up the stairs and tucked her into the big bed in one of the spare rooms. "Good night, princess," he whispered as he kissed her cheek. As he tiptoed out, he saw light spilling out beneath the door of the room Nick and Becca were staying in. He walked quietly past, sending up a silent prayer that things would be all right.